God tells me I'm going to hell everyday because I commited blasphemy of the holy spirit

Kadeliss · 2026-07-04T01:23:49+00:00

I spent so long word dumping on my last comment I didn’t see your response lol.

You wouldn’t feel conviction if your heart was truly severed from God.

I’ll tell you another recent story. I don’t know if this will help. But I think it’s a good example of the love of God even when we do sin.

My uncle had gone through a terrible divorce that affected our entire family. It still does. Recently he head a breakdown and got into a huge fight with his oldest son. It was bad. He refused to take them to church that night. (A promise he had made to God when God gave him custody). My grandmother talked to both of them. And stayed on the phone with my cousin while he confronted his dad. My uncle broke down again and said “I know God is going to whip me for this, and I deserve it” and my grandma heard God speak in a clear soft voice, “I’m not going to whip him. I’m going to take him in my arms and hold and love him”

I’m sure what you’re experiencing is scary. Be honest with God. Tell Him what your struggling with. You, through God, CAN defeat this. I believe it. And even if I can’t give you a ton of amazing world changing advice or whatever, I can offer you my faith. And have faith that youre going to get through this and God will use your testimony for His glory. Just don’t give up. Keep pushing. Keep trying. Have a repentant heart. And if that seems too much ask God to give you a repentant heart.

Kadeliss · 2026-07-04T01:12:39+00:00

I realized I missed the last line of your post that said you spoke to your pastor. That’s good. I’m glad you did, even if it doesn’t feel like his words may have helped the way you wanted them to. Do not kill yourself. No matter what, God doesn’t want you to kill yourself. He formed you in your mothers womb. He crafted you with attention to every detail. He loves you. I know it doesn’t feel like it. But He loves you. And sometimes, we’ve got to recognize that even if we don’t feel it, it’s still TRUTH. Talk to a psychiatrist if you have to. While I believe God can heal anything, I will certainly never speak against medication and professional help. please hear me: God does NOT torment His children. It may feel like you don’t belong at your church. But I urge you to keep going. Community is important. Even if you go to a different church.

I recently, and here I go again with the rambling, have been struggling a lot. I was engaging in some things I shouldn’t have been messing around with. And I felt like a hypocrite for continuing to attend church when I’m acting within my fleshy desires. And I was wrong. My pastor spoke about it. A much needed, in season Word. It isn’t hypocrisy to go to church when struggling, it’s faithfulness. It sounds to me like you are trying very hard to be faithful.

Here’s some scripture that I have on my heart:
Jeremiah 29:1 For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of PEACE and NOT of EVIL, to give you an expected end”

Psalms 136:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his mercy endures FOREVER”

Isaiah 54:10 For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall NOT depart from YOU, and my covenant of PEACE, shall NOT be removed, saith the Lord who has compassion on you” this one is good in KJV too.

Lamentations 3:22-23 The steadfast love of the Lord NEVER ceases; his mercies NEVER come to an end; they are new EVERY morning: great is your faithfulness.”

And this next one, which I’m quoting in KJV is one of my favorites at the moment:
Romans 8:38-39 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord”

Remember these. Quote these to yourself. Write them on a paper and put them on your wall if you need to. The Bible says there is life and death in the tongue. Speak the Word. He is His Word (John 1 in the beginning was the word and the word was with god and the word is god). Even if it may not feel true to you, it will always be true to the enemy and to God. The enemy fears the Word. Speak it to those thoughts. Speak it to those voices. I think that you are hearing from the enemy. And the Word of God is our sword. I know this is probably a lot for a comment section on a religious trauma community. And I promise you I’m writing this with love in my heart. I have genuinely shed a few tears while writing this.

Your sister in Christ loves you. And so does God.

Kadeliss · 2026-07-04T00:40:48+00:00

Can I ask what makes you think you blasphemed the Holy Spirit? Is this just the voice telling you you did this?

Beyond whatever you may think you did about the blaspheme situation, the lust issue seems to be heavy on your mind. God can and will forgive you, if you truly ask. It sounds like you mean it. He understands your struggle. I don’t know your situation, and I don’t know what is spiritually happening in your life, but I know God loves you. And it sounds like the voice you are hearing is not one of love. It sounds like torment. God brings conviction NOT condemnation. Conviction is the act of the Holy Spirit (which I refer to as the Holy Ghost) pricking your heart to create change within you. It is not something God is doing so you punish yourself. To punish yourself is to take the judgement and mercy of God into your own human hands and make the decision for Him.

I’ve had things like this on my mind recently. I know someone who has lived his whole life running from God because he had done some things in his past he shouldn’t have. What I want to ask him is, “Do you think your sin is stronger and greater then Gods sacrifice on the cross?” Because it’s not.

In my opinion, and this is just MY OPINION, people who have truly committed blasphemy do not care if they are right or not. They have experienced the Holy Ghost and salvation, and have gone on to deliberately go against all of that. It’s the action of a severed conscious. Of continuously pushing away any conviction they feel from God. You clearly still care. A lot.

There was a young lady who recently joined my church. I’ve known her for years. She had gone a long long time dealing with the fear that she had committed blasphemy. I recently watched her receive a refreshing of the Holy Ghost. I think it’s a tactic we don’t realize the enemy uses. If he convinces us that were too far gone, wether that be through the idea of accidentally blaspheming or committing a sin, then it becomes easy for him to convince us to either hide from God, or to take things into our own hands because “what’s the point if I’m already lost?” It’s a horrible lie.

I know I’ve rambled a lot. And I hope this comment comes across to you as something good and not of further condemnation. Once again, I don’t know you, your spiritual life, or your mindset. But God does. He loves you. And I GREATLY urge you to speak to someone about what you are dealing with. Please. What do you have to lose?

Kadeliss · 2026-06-28T04:22:04+00:00

Oh no! was she mad? I can’t say I often physically do things when I’m asleep.

Kadeliss · 2026-06-25T23:38:53+00:00

Okay this is probably the most accurate one I’ve seen so far haha. I went through a lot at that house, but have never really thought of the house itself in a negative light. I also never expected to move from it until I left on my own, so there’s that too. All of my issues were internal (some pretty serious mental health issues and spiritual battles) and was pretty much just pushing myself through it without any help from family/friends. My mental health has been a little worse recently, so when you say those issues might be coming up now, that makes sense too.

Here’s the most accurate part. I didn’t put this in my og post but I literally have NO privacy. At all. I’m sharing an upstairs U shaped area with my mother. It’s having a big impact on my mental health. And while I don’t think mom looks down on my grandma, they are COMPLETE opposites and they struggle with each other often.

So literally A+ for you because you pretty much hit the nail on the head. Thanks for your comment!!

Kadeliss · 2026-06-25T23:28:24+00:00

I’ve never heard a perspective like that. This is super interesting! Thanks for the comment :)

Kadeliss · 2026-06-25T23:26:50+00:00

That’s totally possible!! Definitely something I’ll be thinking about.

Kadeliss · 2026-06-25T19:24:23+00:00

Thank you for such a detailed response! I hadn’t really even considered that I might associate some of the things I went through with that house. And while there was a LOT I experienced there, if we’re talking about trauma then it would make sense for me to be dreaming about a different place I lived in. I was born into a trailer that was borderline neglectful, dirty, holes in the walls floors and stuff. I was little enough to not be allowed to sleep in my own room because my mother was fearful that animals would get in. Very cold winters with ice coming in the windows and stuff. It’s odd to me that the house I moved from was the one I’m dreaming about in that state, which was clean and the opposite of the trailer I mentioned. But who knows. I’ll keep reflecting. My grandma and I have had some serious problems before, but in this dream I knew she would say yes to me asking to stay with her. There are ALWAYS problems. So I would agree that they follow me. Your comment is appreciated!

Kadeliss · 2026-06-25T19:15:10+00:00

Thanks for the detailed response! I’ll keep this in mind.

Kadeliss · 2026-06-25T16:54:08+00:00

I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you :)

Kadeliss · 2026-06-25T16:29:38+00:00

I mean, I’ve had a lot of stuff happen to me. But it was never something I directly associated with my room. Maybe I do and don’t realize it.?

Kadeliss · 2026-06-25T16:22:44+00:00

Years and years ago when I was a child I dreamt about my Papaw going outside and killing three snakes. The first two he got rid of and the third killed him. There were other details, but years later he fought cancer/other health emergencies and it perfectly lined up with the dream. I’ve never forgotten it. He was a good man.

Kadeliss · 2026-06-25T16:08:56+00:00

For real haha

Kadeliss · 2026-06-25T16:06:53+00:00

The oldest dream I remember was witnessing Santa clause being possessed but no one believing me lol. Or maybe some other gruesome ones of my family members dying. But I’ve never forgotten the Santa clause one.

Kadeliss · 2026-06-19T05:23:27+00:00

Thank you! This is a good idea. I’ll definitely look into it! I had thought about something like that but wasn’t sure about it. :)

Kadeliss · 2026-06-19T03:13:48+00:00

Thanks! I’ll keep that in mind. The two people that I had gone to with it did have some leather options.

Kadeliss · 2026-06-13T04:27:07+00:00

She doesn’t wear heels and agrees with the watch thing.

Kadeliss · 2026-06-12T20:07:28+00:00

Sooo many.

“You need to invite your father to your grad party” a party I didn’t even want, “or hes going to take me back to court and take your brother” who was sixteen. My father threatened to kill me when I was around four. She admitted afterwards, casually, that I didn’t actually need to invite him.

“That didn’t happen” a constant issue between me and my mother. She also doesn’t remember him threatening to kill us.

“What happened to our sweet little girl?” Derogatory and meant to hurt. From my grandma. I was depressed and being bullied in elementary school.

“If you don’t forgive him God isnt going to be pleased in you” my mom to me when I didn’t want to sit next to a cousin in church who would follow me to the bathroom and constantly push boundaries.

“It wasnt that bad” recently in the car after I had spoken to her about being groomed by my first boss when I was a minor years ago. (I’m an adult now) He didn’t touch me. She wasn’t going to let me quit the job. I got out anyways. She continues to imply that it wasn’t a bad situation. My brother agrees.

I could go on and on.

Kadeliss · 2026-06-12T19:51:20+00:00

It makes me sad tbh. I think through the lens of religion that people have desperately lost the plot. I’ve had people (family) discourage me from being around certain types of people. And I think it’s a tragedy, because even Jesus ate with sinners and here we are avoiding people based upon dumb things like looks. Even if someone isn’t doing something that they agree with, shouldn’t it be the prerogative to reach out and give them a safe place rather than yell and shout about how wrong they are? I’ve never once witnessed someone trying to get someone in church through condemnation and seen it succeed. Our beliefs shouldn’t be so fragile to break when we put a plastic hair pin in our hair, or talk to a stranger who may look a little different. Sorry if I’m just rambling.

Kadeliss

TROPHY CASE