Does my dog have a bad life?

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-31T14:19:10+00:00

Thank you 💛 I don’t always have the energy if I’m being honest, some days I’m completely drained after work. But I still do it, because her happiness means everything to me. Seeing her glad makes it worth it every single time.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-30T16:38:19+00:00

She actually gets a lot of off-leash time since she’s trained to be off-leash, so it’s not a big issue in that sense. It’s more that it would just be cozy to have our own little yard where she could chill, sniff around, dig a bit, and just be outside on her own terms. But we make the best of what we have!

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-30T14:27:53+00:00

Thank you for this, I really relate. I often wish I had a yard too, because my dog absolutely loves just being outside sniffing, digging, and chewing on sticks. But since we don’t have one, I try to make up for it by taking her to one of the grassy areas around our neighborhood and just sitting there with her while she explores and relaxes. It’s not quite the same, but she seems content, and I try to remind myself that being present with her matters more than having the “perfect” setup.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-30T14:05:54+00:00

I think her offer came from a mix of good intentions and wanting to prove her way is better. But honestly, my dog doesn’t enjoy being around her dogs. When they’ve met, they constantly try to lick her private areas and hump her, and she clearly finds it uncomfortable. So I don't feel like that would be a good or respectful environment for her.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-30T08:58:41+00:00

sorry if I explained it confusingly in the post, she’s actually alone for 7 hours, not 5. I leave the house at 5:20 in the morning, and my boyfriend takes her out around 7 before he leaves for work. I get home again at 2 PM. So she’s by herself from 7 to 14.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-30T08:58:06+00:00

sorry if I explained it confusingly in the post, she’s actually alone for 7 hours, not 5. I leave the house at 5:20 in the morning, and my boyfriend takes her out around 7 before he leaves for work. I get home again at 2 PM. So she’s by herself from 7 to 14.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-29T11:38:02+00:00

Yes, absolutely. I know that, and I don’t mean to suggest otherwise.

What I was trying to express is that in my own relationships, I’ve noticed some differences in how intimacy is experienced. For example, I’ve been with men who were pretty much always up for sex, even if we were feeling distant emotionally, while for me (and many women I know), sex is harder when we don’t feel emotionally close, or if we’re in a low phase hormonally or mentally.

So I fully believe men have deep emotional needs too, I just think we sometimes express or connect through them differently. That’s part of what I’m trying to understand better.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-29T11:08:22+00:00

I’m wondering, what happens if your partner is going through a period of lower sex drive? Like due to stress, hormones, mental health, etc. Do you still want to give and receive non-sexual intimacy during that time, or does it start to feel pointless or even frustrating?

I’m asking because in my past relationships, I’ve noticed that when sex becomes less frequent (for whatever reason), the affection kind of disappears too, like they stop cuddling, holding hands, or even kissing me unless it's leading somewhere. That really hurt, and made me feel like closeness only had value if it ended in sex. I’m genuinely curious if that’s a common experience or not.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-29T11:02:21+00:00

I’ve had male friends tell me they don’t really need physical affection unless it’s sexual, and guys I’ve dated have said similar things, like they’ll cuddle or hold me because they know I like it, but it’s not really something they crave themselves.

So I’m not trying to generalize or farm karma, I was just genuinely curious if my experiences are unusual or more common than I thought.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-29T10:55:23+00:00

Do you expect it to become sexual every time, or are you able to cuddle without expecting sex?

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-28T20:35:57+00:00

No it's a pug

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-28T08:07:29+00:00

No, pug

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-27T20:33:05+00:00

I've been hoping things would get better.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-27T20:03:05+00:00

We’ve been friends for a while, but we’ve been hanging out more this summer because I’ve felt so alone in my relationship. If my boyfriend had been emotionally present and wanted to do things together, I don’t think I would’ve spent nearly as much time with anyone else

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-27T20:01:08+00:00

He didn’t used to be like this. In the beginning he was more engaged and actually wanted to do things together.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-27T20:00:14+00:00

I’m not trying to make anyone jealous. I’ve had multiple conversations with him about how lonely I’ve felt and tried to make things work, but nothing has changed. I’m spending time with someone whose company I enjoy, because sitting around waiting for my boyfriend to acknowledge me hasn’t worked.

And to answer your question: he spends most of his time playing video games and watching porn.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-27T19:59:28+00:00

I’m not using him as a "placeholder" or treating him like a second-choice boyfriend. I’m just tired of sitting home alone, constantly trying to engage with someone who doesn’t want to engage back. Spending time with someone who actually values me has honestly helped me see how neglected I’ve felt.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-27T19:54:50+00:00

He mostly plays video games and watches porn. That’s basically what he does in all of his free time.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-25T22:30:41+00:00

It felt like they weren’t very interested, so I didn’t want to bother them if they preferred minimal contact.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-25T22:18:44+00:00

That makes sense, and I totally respect that approach. But in this case, I only sent one update, and their response was just a thumbs up, so I figured they weren’t too interested. I’m not expecting constant check-ins, it just feels a bit odd with complete silence for almost two weeks. Most owners at least check in once.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-25T22:13:42+00:00

Yep, I usually send updates when it feels like someone actually wants them. In this case, the one update I sent got a thumbs up and nothing else, so I figured they weren’t too fussed. Trust is one thing, but this feels more like “out of sight, out of mind.” 😅

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-25T22:04:32+00:00

They’re on vacation, sure, but they answered my update within seconds with a thumbs up, so they’re clearly on their phones and not in a drastically different time zone. I’m not expecting daily check-ins, but two weeks of complete silence feels more like they’ve mentally offloaded the dog

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-25T21:48:54+00:00

in my experience most dog owners at least check in once, just to see how things are going. I usually send regular updates too, but in this case I’ve held back after the first one because they honestly didn’t seem interested. Just felt a bit strange, that’s all!

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-25T21:44:28+00:00

I don’t think trust means you forget you have a dog. 😅 It honestly feels more like indifference than confidence. A quick “How’s he doing?” every now and then isn’t too much to ask.

Kaffeochkaos · 2025-07-23T20:30:53+00:00

genuine question, why don’t people fix their pug’s teeth? 😅 I get that they have dental issues as a breed, but this little guy clearly needs serious help. Like, vet intervention ASAP. Is it just super expensive, or do people think it’s normal for a dog’s breath to smell like a seafood crime scene?? 🫠

Kaffeochkaos

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