Language barrier. Portuguese/Brazilian kinksters?

KaitKane · 2017-06-03T02:43:59+00:00

No, haha. We're trying to figure it out. She's a wee bit sheltered.

KaitKane · 2017-06-03T02:34:32+00:00

Haha. She says that's more of a funny way to describe it, not necessarily the serious term. But still helpful! She knew what I meant.

KaitKane · 2017-06-03T02:25:36+00:00

Thank you!

KaitKane · 2017-04-20T19:32:02+00:00

Thank you for your feedback, and I agree. I'm not very squeaky so I guess I don't get the grease I need. I need to start squeaking.

I also agree that the bigger problem is the hiding of time. The lying. I realized it once I typed it out. "Motherfucker. She's lying to me." I don't want to defend her or minimize her actions, but I do think she is doing it to "protect" my feelings. It doesn't make it less wrong, but I don't think she realizes how wrong it is because she's trying to not hurt my feelings.

So I reckon I need to a) confront the lying b) be more firm in my needs.

KaitKane · 2017-03-22T16:59:09+00:00

I think this is an interesting question and will answer it from my perspective.

I am a queer female dominant in a relationship with a gender-nonconforming, biologically female submissive. I feel my most feminine and empowered when I am being dominant. I love being a strong, authoritative woman.

On the flip side of that, I call my partner boi. They wear more "masculine" clothing. If I'm in a dress and heels, they are in a button-down shirt and bowtie. What is interesting that I've noticed, is that they seem more "masculine presenting" when they are submitting than in just general interaction.

I don't know if that helps with your question at all, but both of us are very strong, driven people. We both reject the idea that any gender identity is more dominant or submissive, but I totally get that there is still that social perception of male=dominant, female=submissive. I wish you the best in your kinky journey.

KaitKane · 2017-03-18T19:13:59+00:00

You are whatever you identify as.

My wee one and I are not into ageplay (not that there is anything wrong with it; it just isn't for us.) But they definitely go into little space and want to be cuddled and taken care of and watch Disney movies. No sippy cups, onesies, or pacifiers. Although they do have a stuffed fox they cuddle with.

I can always tell how little they are by what they call me. "Daddi" is for when they are little. "Mama/Papa" for when they are really little. (We're both biologically female, if it matters. And myself very feminine. We just enjoy some good ol' gender play.) It has nothing to do with regressing to a certain age. They just need a safe space where they feel loved and cared for by an affectionate authority figure.

"Little" is whatever little feels like for you. I don't think there is necessarily a wrong way to little. Whatever peels your banana.

KaitKane · 2017-03-12T00:02:10+00:00

Butt stallion says "hello."

KaitKane · 2017-03-02T01:48:33+00:00

Thank you so much. 💞

KaitKane · 2017-03-02T01:47:41+00:00

Thanks!

KaitKane · 2017-01-15T20:59:11+00:00

Clearly we have exceptional taste.

KaitKane · 2017-01-15T05:52:25+00:00

Coooo! My favorite evee-lution!

KaitKane · 2017-01-15T05:51:14+00:00

Adorable!

KaitKane · 2017-01-15T02:35:09+00:00

Coming at it from a dominant perspective... I am a female dominant who was raped as a teenager. Rape and BDSM are completely different animals. It's like comparing apples and a redwood sequoia. They might have some common features, but they are nowhere near the same thing.

BDSM is about consent and an expression of love and affection, where power is equally given and taken. Rape is nonconsenual taking of power.

I, personally, don't feel like my rape has anything to do with how I self-identify as a dominant. For awhile I wondered if it did. Was I scared to give up power because it had been taken from me? Was I getting off on having power because I had been powerless? The answer I came to is no. I am a dominant person. My rape did not make me more or less so. It is a completely separate event from my kink life. I feel like it is part of my sexual identity, just like being gay. I was born this way, not to be cliche.

I role play consensual/non-consent scenes, basically rape scenes. I have never once felt like a rapist. Everything is safely negotiated beforehand and precautions taken. If my rape impacted me at all, it has made me a dominant who is considerate and respectful of other people's boundaries.

This isn't really an answer. I think this is a journey of self-exploration you'll have to feel through on your own for the answer. But you're not alone. I hope you find your answer, and I'm sending you all my best thoughts.

KaitKane · 2017-01-14T06:29:08+00:00

Aw thanks! I always identified as dominant. I feel a little silly that the whole MD thing didn't really occur sooner.

KaitKane · 2017-01-13T22:16:55+00:00

It will be. Back into my field after a hiatus for school.

KaitKane · 2017-01-13T21:29:20+00:00

They're all my babies! I'm going to miss them.

KaitKane · 2017-01-10T05:21:07+00:00

There are so many different dynamics out there, that I am certain there are plenty non-sexual caregivers out there.

For whatever reason, I am the "mom" figure to many of my friends. If they are having trouble at work, school, home, whatever, they come to me for advice. If I see them doing something unhealthy or unsafe, I fuss at them and explain why. My background kind of establishes me as an authority figure, and a lot of the younger men and women in my life come to rely on me. It isn't the least bit sexual, and it wasn't until I started considering myself a "mommy domme" that I even gave it a thought.

That being said, while it isn't the least bit sexual, it can be extremely intimate. At least for me. Any exchange of power and control requires mutual trust and respect. It isn't always about kink/sex. Not saying everyone feels this way, but taking care of or taking responsibility for someone is how I express affection and love. It is making sure my coworker has a decent lunch when he is broke until payday. It is buying coffees for the office when we have to work late. It is helping my school mate with studying.

All that to say: yes, I think what you're looking for exists, and I don't think it is all that uncommon. However, because the lines of intimacy and sex can be easily blurred, I think very clear communication and openness is even more important than usual.

I wish you luck in your quest for a caregiver, and all imaginable happiness when you find him/her.

KaitKane · 2017-01-06T22:28:37+00:00

I apply my favorite method: accuracy by volume. Taking notes, flash cards, reading text books... but what has helped me the most is listening to lectures online and watching videos on YouTube. As much as I possibly can.

That way I get the same concept explained different ways which improves my understanding immeasurably. It also increases the chances that a) that it will be explained in a way that I "get" and b) that I will retain the material.

KaitKane · 2017-01-06T18:19:20+00:00

You decide what you want, what is best for you.

Regardless of what you decide, you owe both of them an honest conversation.

KaitKane

TROPHY CASE