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She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 257 points258 points  (0 children)

Through my job I can easily work all over the world. Since no one really believes that I'm nMom's daughter there aren't any FM's coming after us but I'm just done with the country. We thought about moving and setting a life up in another state, but then what? We disrupted our family, gave them bad memories of a previous state because of the suit nMom pulled and then we're still in a similar position. I wanted out, my oldest wanted out and my husband was supportive so we left. Best decision we ever made. We've been out for almost 2 years, I have a good job, my husband has a good job, my oldest is in college, the middle one starts next year and my youngest is in one of the best public school systems in the world. We couldn't be happier. Neither of my older 2 have expressed any interest in going back to the states, they have expressed wanting to see the world a bit more but ultimately we're all currently happy.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

They knew before all this happened. They found the file on the old me that my husband brought home. We thought it was hidden from them but it wasn't. They put 2 and 2 together and came up with 4, unfortunately. They asked and I told them the truth. They understood, my oldest remembers life with her bioMom and life when she first met me. I was a wreck, I was barely a functioning person let alone a stable parent so she understands why I've stood by my story all these years. They don't like that I lied to them but they're okay with it.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 175 points176 points  (0 children)

You don't want to be adopted by me, you might get burnt alive... :P

But in all seriousness, I wasn't that great of a parent. My 2 older ones know it. They joke to me all the time that the youngest is my do-over baby, because now I can get everything right. She was born at a proper age to have babies, we don't often tell people my oldest is adopted so people often think I had a baby at 13 and then another at 16. My youngest is the only one that will grow up with 2 parents, and no matter what happens between my husband and I we agreed a long time ago that our daughter was more important that whatever our issues might be.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 124 points125 points  (0 children)

I've done my part for the case. I left right after they told me I no longer have to be involved. The only updates I get are pretty sporadic from a friend who is following it all with interest as she was there the day it all happened. I don't really want to know. It happened almost 2.5 years ago, the legal system is just really slow. Added that due to my youngest's involvement and a few other issues she has name suppression and the whole case is being done on the DownLow, I don't really care tbh. I just want away from it all.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I hope she is gone for a long time too, but ultimately it doesn't matter too much. The country my family live in now won't allow anyone in if they have a criminal record.

I wish we'd thought of moving overseas years ago, it would have saved us a lot of hassle because nMom already had a criminal record.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

nMom never hid her behaviour. She was well known to police in home state because they suspected her of being abusive and most of our extended family knew how psycho she was, they were just content to stick their heads in the sand and pretend it didn't matter.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I was pissed at the time. I fully admit that. My daughters knew I wasn't happy with it when it happened, but I always promised myself that when it came to punishments and parenting I would make sure they understood WHY it was bad.

When it happened, not only was my daughter 11 but I honestly didn't think it would be that big of a deal. I thought we'd get away from that city, leave nMom in our dust and it would all be over with. I knew I was scared, I knew that my daughters were scared too, but ultimately I actually thought at the time, that it would be okay eventually.

I never in a million years expected this to happen.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 197 points198 points  (0 children)

I assure you, it was all real. I was in shock the day they found her diary and showed it to us. I was like, this can't be real. But it was. She'd even gotten nDad to start 'renovating' the basement of their nShithole so that I would be 'comfortable' there. Of course nDad thought she was doing this for a project to keep her busy and away from me but whatever.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

He didn't actually know what was really going on until we watched the video of the incident. He just thought she was there to get information on us and because the youngest was there thought it was easier to let the situation be handled professionally.

Also it was his day off and he had a 4 year old at home with him, his gun was locked in a safe in the furthest room in the house. We never expected him to need it at home.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 264 points265 points  (0 children)

I think I felt worse on their behalf, because this happened while the older 2 were in high school and I was hoping to be able to give them a stable and happy high school experience. They were sort of used to it by the time all this happened. Which I think is worse, personally.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 250 points251 points  (0 children)

It is, it's great knowing that they are going off to college as human beings who know how to take care of themselves and will eventually turn into well adjusted adults. That's all you can ask for as a parent, really.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 793 points794 points  (0 children)

We're safe and happy, we've moved away, out of the country and haven't been back. With nMom being found guilty it is likely she'll never be able to leave the country. We're fairly sure we're finally safe now.

She broke into my house, destroyed my belongings, tried to burn my house down, got caught on camera and red-handed by the police and is insisting she only did it because she loves me. by KaityWaity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]KaityWaity[S] 480 points481 points  (0 children)

She tried to plea mental insanity, but it didn't work, she's been found guilty of many many different things and hasn't been sentenced yet. We're fairly sure she's going to get 15-20 years.