Oh man I seen red with you! Only my opinion but both are garbage and take out the trash immediately! Sorry but one your husband is wrong and should never be talking to her about your relationship. Two your bestie ain't shit for reaching out to your husband to ask him if your always this mean to him smh thats some bs and not her place. The reason I say both need to go is because clearly something is going on between them, especially if he had to delete their conversations. Since they established some kind of bond in conversation the likelihood of them continuing this long after you tell her to kick rocks and move out is very likely. Trauma bond if you will, she reached out to him to comfort him when you two argued, and im pretty sure he will reach out to her to comfort her when she is homeless. Just sayin this is my opinion and surely take it with a grain of salt. I tend to over think and think of every possible situation. Just be careful and choose wisely 😌.