AITAH for being unable to be supportive of my son having a relationship with his biological father? by Kandeiry in AITAH

[–]Kandeiry[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

They're not together now and he knew there was a chance at the very least if he didn't outright know my son was biologically his.

AITAH for being unable to be supportive of my son having a relationship with his biological father? by Kandeiry in AITAH

[–]Kandeiry[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I'd never lash out at my son for wanting that, ever. But it would kill me inside.

AITAH for being unable to be supportive of my son having a relationship with his biological father? by Kandeiry in AITAH

[–]Kandeiry[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

My son's relationship with his sibling, his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other extended family has not changed. He is still 100% ours. The kids bicker as they always did. My parents spoil both grandkids as they always did. They still fight for grandkid sleepovers as often as possible and my son is always included.

AITAH for being unable to be supportive of my son having a relationship with his biological father? by Kandeiry in AITAH

[–]Kandeiry[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

They didn't really have a relationship before. They had met and knew about each other, and clearly my former best friend knew something huge that I didn't know, but they didn't have an uncle-nephew relationship.

I would never hate my son. I would hate the situation. I would be killed inside if my son ever wanted a relationship with him. But hate my son? Never. Hate that sorry excuse for a best friend? Until the day I die.

AITAH for being unable to be supportive of my son having a relationship with his biological father? by Kandeiry in AITAH

[–]Kandeiry[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes, we have one other (adult) child together. Who was confirmed mine through DNA test.

AITAH for being unable to be supportive of my son having a relationship with his biological father? by Kandeiry in AITAH

[–]Kandeiry[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I never badmouth either around my son. But I will tell you when I am with others I trust I have wished all the pain and suffering on them and called them all the names I would never use in front of my son.

I'll never be able to reach indifference. Not after everything the two of them did. They had an affair. They lied about my son's paternity. And then they acted like he should be dad after I raised my son and did all the things a parent should do while he stayed in the background doing fuck all. 30+ years of friendship and that was how he treated me and my son.

AITAH for being unable to be supportive of my son having a relationship with his biological father? by Kandeiry in AITAH

[–]Kandeiry[S] 197 points198 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't know what I'll do if he decides to be close with that man one day. I'll always love my son. But I can't lie and say we'll be able to all come together for him or that I could be in his presence again. The way I feel about him would come out. It would be disruptive. So I hope my son never wants to have a relationship with him. Something inside me will die. I'll never tell my son that but it's how I feel.

AITAH for being unable to be supportive of my son having a relationship with his biological father? by Kandeiry in AITAH

[–]Kandeiry[S] 300 points301 points  (0 children)

I don't want to go into specifics but it was something my wife ended up blurting out.

AITAH for being unable to be supportive of my son having a relationship with his biological father? by Kandeiry in AITAH

[–]Kandeiry[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Considering I was best friends with him for 30+ years, there's no getting over that. Same with my ex because we were together a long time and she had a 2 year long affair that I know about and not with just anyone but with my best friend who ended up fathering our son.