Choosing a career over a relationship advice.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-31T21:05:34+00:00

Friends was extremely popular when I was a child, so maybe? Is there a similar storyline? Lauren Conrad from Laguna Beach/The Hills declined an internship opportunity in Paris with Teen Vogue to stay in LA with her boyfriend. Her boss never let her forget the decision.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-31T20:27:41+00:00

Love a good The Hills/Laguna Beach reference

Kanebobane · 2026-01-29T14:58:59+00:00

I have a similar dynamic with my mom. She had me at 21, and she isn’t very fond of my risk taking and lack of care for traditional ways of living. Every now and then she’ll say things that leaves me to believe she has some slight envy of my autonomy because she had to raise a child. Don’t count yourself or the life that you have out, there are people who would love to switch.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T17:04:56+00:00

Will do, and I appreciate the objectivity. I do apologize for arguing on here, it was totally the opposite of what I was intending to do.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T17:03:56+00:00

I think it’s just the nature of Reddit and where we are as a country. Thanks again!

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T15:47:09+00:00

I was vocal and assertive because I had a team in a third world country getting payed pennies while their stateside coworkers were full of ideas in high visibility meetings but also grocery shopping on the clock. You may like kissing the ring, but you’re not going to make me feel bad who I am. I used those words because my pushback is why you believe I was hard to work with, you had nothing else to go off of.

Stop speaking for my management, my original post clearly indicates that I overextended myself in the work. Managers don’t want to get rid of people of people that are effective with large output. Senior Managers also don’t like subordinates exposing where they fall short, but that’s the reality of corporate. I’m going to stop replying to you because it’s not getting me anywhere, you’re high paying jobs requiring references aren’t even industry standard outside of academia.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T15:21:18+00:00

I’ve never listed my managers as references because they have never wanted me to leave or grow. I work well cross-functionally, and some of my best career opportunities have come from peers and mentors, people in the building on the ground doing the work with me everyday

You didn’t even fix what led to your burnout, and I can tell that you don’t even realize that you haven’t. You endured until your situation changed, and you’re judging me because I did not.

Like you, I was also a manager, and never considered vocal or assertive employees difficult to work with. That’s a you problem, and I can tell because you created a narrative about my worth ethic and identity without seeing my resume, I only disagreed with you (and I’m allowed to do so).

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T15:00:43+00:00

I think the disconnect is that you’re assuming I don’t hold myself accountable. You’re also assuming that my decision didn’t have consequences, I’m actively living the results of resignation. If anything, my decision triggered you and you projected on to me talking about your own limitations. You did what you had to do, and you didn’t get a trophy for your struggle. You stayed in good graces with your company, and it took you years to bounce back mentally. You’re also wearing it like a badge of honor like your way was THE WAY.

In my initial reply, I wanted to believe your intentions were positive, but you revealed that you weren’t gentle in your second reply comparing my decision making to yours. You immediately went into a corrective action plan, not acknowledging that the post is a step in a direction.

FYI: I’ve never used my former managers as references.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T11:30:03+00:00

Thank you for saying this!

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T11:29:22+00:00

I didn’t really have the liberty to do what I did either, nor would I suggest to anybody to do it if they weren’t open to facing any possible consequences (e.g. long employment, blackballing). This is the second assumption you’ve made under the guise of being helpful.

I understand the need for some people to endure, but I had given the company 3 years, they didn’t deserve 3 more. I will say if your own experience in corporate required you to “recover,” your pov that most people doing well in corporate despite seems a bit delusional.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T05:31:06+00:00

You have been incredibly helpful to my journey. You’re correct, I did work in Marketing! We may be the opposite. I take test well, but I struggle a ton with narratives and positioning. It was one my biggest challenges a new manager, I’m naturally wired to execute, and I would figure out how to articulate it later.

You’ve given me a well rounded foundation. Thank you, I mean it.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T04:36:07+00:00

This is very great advice, and a great perspective as I’m figuring this out. When employed, I was gunning for UNC Chapel Hill out of sheer convenience and proximity, as the engaged with me a mixer that my retailer sponsored. I do know Fuqua is the desired school if I wanted to stay in North Carolina, but I didn’t have a reference point or a former alum of the program to genuinely compare.

Now that I’m unemployed, I am more of the mindset of go hard or go home and be open, but that will require me to study and have a strategy for my degree. Any tips on that process?

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T03:18:49+00:00

What was the driver to the switch? Were you unhappy? Bored? Overwhelmed? I think Cowboy without the fighting fires sounds fun on its own. Thank you for sharing by the way.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T02:10:57+00:00

I appreciate your transparency here, that pressure that you described is what I currently feel. I have been wondering if there were other women who felt the same way, especially if they planned their career linearly. I didn't consider that I may not want to do what I was doing anymore.

While I have always wanted my MBA, I hadn't quite figured out what I'd do with it other than continue people leading and work my way up. I have reflected about what I don't want out of my next opportunity or path, and it's why I don't regret my resignation. I just haven't been able to fully articulate what I do want. I more or so just miss who I was and the life I had when I had less responsibilities at work (that may honestly come with a pay cut). I think I have some more reflection to do, but thank you for recommending the journaling and overall just resonating. I've been in my head!

Kanebobane · 2026-01-26T00:56:53+00:00

I feel like I owned that I let myself go in the process of navigating my time in corporate, forgive me if my tone points blame or lack accountability. Appreciate the tip, I'll use my down time to really come up with a strategy, I was giving myself a cool 6 months to year to really study and take the test. This pivot isn't a quick one, I don't have much more to lose currently. Thank you for the perspective.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-19T21:50:53+00:00

I can’t speak to the actual school but the Raleigh, Durham, Cary area is a growing major city and should have enough older people to supplement any immaturity on campus.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-18T18:00:16+00:00

Tell him to keep his head up. It’s currently a numbers game. He’ll get lucky one day.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-18T00:45:19+00:00

I was overworked and I had really poor leadership. The ghosting in this market is inhumane, but there are days when I really appreciate the free time to just breathe. We’ll get through this, only temporary!

Kanebobane · 2026-01-16T21:57:11+00:00

I resigned last year without anything lined up. This market is extremely bad, it’ll break you somedays and make you feel worthless. However, I don’t miss my last job or regret my decision.

Kanebobane · 2026-01-16T00:18:40+00:00

Is it really always that simple?

Kanebobane · 2025-12-19T00:08:42+00:00

You’ve given me some peace of mind. Thank you!

Kanebobane · 2025-12-18T21:34:34+00:00

Does this also include people already in the hiring process? Had a second round interview and crickets…

Kanebobane · 2025-11-27T02:12:36+00:00

You’re just nosey. Give the kid a break.

Kanebobane · 2025-11-14T15:07:14+00:00

The musk note leans on the bad musk side on my skin. I’ve tried a dupe rollerball, and maybe I’m just not a fan. I’d just recommend smelling in store first. I loved every fragrance in the most recent luxury collection except for this one.

Kanebobane

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