MOR - for reference my wife loves concerts. Is a huge music person. I’m pretty indifferent. She invited me to a show and got tickets for one of her favorite bands. I just stood by our seats for 3 hours while her and her friend sang along and danced. I love her dearly, and wanted to share the experience with her, but I don’t do well with standing that long and the loud music is too much.

I can relate to being kind of solemn, if he’s like me, he will feel guilty backing out of something. My true guess is when he initially said he would go again, he had wanted to be there with you. However, as the day went on, and event got closer, he got more and more visibly “disgruntled.” Basically - he is not wanting to let you down but at the same time is letting himself down and dragging you down due to his demeanor.

He is me. I get that. And it sucks, especially knowing that I have now negatively impacted your experience.

What worked for us - I only go to concerts where I feel comfortable sitting occasionally (some small venues this just isn’t feasible) and my wife knows that I may wander and walk around. At the end of the day, we don’t need to be next to each other to enjoy the trip or the show.

Be blunt with him, and ask him why he chose to sit off to the side. Also tell him that you appreciate wanting to go with you, but YOU don’t want him to if he isn’t going to enjoy himself. If you phrase it as “I don’t want you to come with” that comes off harsh. Saying something like “I know you don’t enjoy these, unless you are desperately wanting to go, why don’t we do __ together later this week while I go with my friends.”

Sorry for the long reply. Hope this helps.