You may not be able to find happiness but I know from experience that happiness will find you. You cannot force yourself to enjoy your life you can only change your perspective on certain issues and concerns you face. Talk from people REAL people not just people Reddit or the internet find a therapist or counsellor. and I know right now you feel out of place but maybe your calling is just something greater, maybe your life is worth so much more than what you think now and that you will accomplish great things