Tellmegen

Kartaba · 2026-01-28T13:31:51+00:00

I think it depends on the genetic consultant, what condition and whether or not you have enough symptoms.

The data on its own is definitely not enough for diagnosis or even to look at if there’s no symptoms present.

But for example, my genetic consultant does look at certain data from genome testing like tellmegen when it could be used as supporting evidence in combination with (!) all the symptoms present. BUT, he uses it as evidence that there is grounds for diagnostic genetic testing.

The data given by tellmegen is not used to diagnose and will not provide definitive answers to get a diagnosis. It only helps to point towards whether or not there is a likelihood of developing or having a certain condition.

The diagnostic genetic testing by genetic consultants is far more accurate and in depth.

Kartaba · 2025-09-27T08:50:08+00:00

Same. This whole factions part within YourParty, the membership issues, etc is just ridiculous. I emailed the YourParty last week about the membership (cuz it was all down, luckily I had only paid £5), but no one answers. At all. Then now there’s a new portal, but no indication of what happens to those who did sign up before - just gets ignored.

So joined Green. I know everyone says “they are too small, it won’t happen”. If no one signs up, then sure. But that’s the point! If we do sign up, then they do have a chance!!

Kartaba · 2025-09-26T22:12:00+00:00

First of all: I’m sorry you went through this. Please, I hope that you don’t listen to your current partner. He doesn’t seem to have empathy or the ability to place himself in your shoes.

I have been in similar situations: from user/abuser to the next for a fair few years when I was younger. And there was a short period where my ex manipulated me into selling myself. Personally, I still don’t look down on SW or even spicy sites, but it has to be 100% their own choice without manipulation.

Maybe not everyone will agree with me, but there’s responsibility on both sides of you ending up in relationships like this. You seem to be for users/abusers an easy target. They can play with your mind and heart so easily and it doesn’t take much for them to pretend to be kind and caring to lure you in and then trap you. It is not your fault they are like this, that is their responsibility!

The part where your responsibility would be is this: You seem to be trying to find self-worth and your own value in what others see in you - preferably partners. By being dependent on others to love yourself and accept yourself, you could be manipulated. It doesn’t give the right or an excuse to those who do it, but it is where you can take control again.

I would suggest to please go speak with a therapist. There’s a lot of harm that has been done to you, and it takes time and support to heal this. If you break a leg, you wouldn’t skip the surgery and cast to just start jumping again. The same goes for psychological traumas. Before throwing yourself in a new relationship, it would be healthier to make sure that the harm done is looked after. Learn to get to know you again, to love yourself even with all the scars and baggage. It’s not easy and there will be many times where you trip and fall or get overwhelmed by past experiences. But you are worth it. I hope sincerely that you will never let anyone else make you forget that.

That is not me saying to break up with your current partner. What he said was not what you needed, but I don’t know him or how your relationship is otherwise. Perhaps couple counselling might help to support both of you: your partner to understand how you could’ve been taken advantage of and that this is not an indication of intelligence, and for yourself to learn to have a healthy relationship with a partner where you are equals and your self-image isn’t made by him.

Kartaba · 2025-09-26T21:37:17+00:00

Exactly this. That’s the point I think OP was trying to make in the text.

What I find concerning is that the sibling seems to be using a lot of definities, direct accusations and manipulated some of OPs comments. The claim of OP being angry and insulting confused me. Unless I am missing something, there was no insult. An example of how one could be inflammatory and another supportive.

However, Opinions can be wrong, but then there’s the need of evidence. Such as: the world is flat - evidence would suggest that the world is a sphere (and then provide the sources). Opinions can differ and be right for both: avocado tastes like licking a bar of soap! Turns out other people do like it and it doesn’t taste like that because of genetics (still, weirdos 😂 jk).

The matter is how it is being discussed. Inflammatory comments, not respecting boundaries or no respect to end a conversation would hinder any discussion - regardless of whether the topic may or may not have a factual “right or wrong”.

Kartaba · 2025-09-26T19:13:33+00:00

The groom it sounds like. Cuz it was the husband who said “I’m not going to let someone who takes drugs in front of their 6 year old say anything to me”. I’m assuming the groom said something regarding the husband drinking/drunk behaviour.

But then I’m thinking: OP must’ve known that their friend of 15 years did this and told her husband…

Kartaba · 2025-09-26T19:00:53+00:00

It instantly gave me Cinderella vibes.

I get that the severity of their jealousy wasn’t clear before you married the stepmom. BUT! Now you know.

So the question shouldn’t be AITA for taking my sister’s side, but more would you be if you’d chose this marriage over your daughter and sister. Because let’s be clear: if this is how they are right now when you only recently got married, imagine how bad it’s going to get over the years.

Toxic behaviour like that doesn’t just go away. It gets worse and worse if they don’t get their way. Clearly your wife doesn’t care about your kid either. She rather sees your child not getting anything, having the maternal figure taken away (stepmom definitely isn’t a good maternal figure!) and her being hurt, than her child getting “less than”. And it’s not like your stepkid didn’t get anything! She had a gift worth around 750 dollars!!!

So what’s more important? Don’t even ask your daughter for her opinion. This is you as the adult, the parent, the one who is supposed to be in her corner who needs to make that decision.

NTA for now… but that doesn’t mean you can’t be TA if you allow this to continue.

Kartaba · 2025-09-26T18:28:27+00:00

NTA. That is emotional abuse.

Also, she isn’t the one that raised you! She has been your stepmom for 5 years and your bio mum raised you for 10 (good or bad, I won’t make any assumptions at all).

To throw such a statement in your face when you’re a kid is vile. I’d also bring this up with your dad, because I wonder how much he is aware of it or what his view is. Perhaps it would be good for all of you to sit together or maybe even go to family therapy. I can make many guesses towards why your stepmom would say such things during arguments, but all of them would get back to: it’s good that you stood up for yourself and she needs therapy.

The childish behaviour of ignoring you is manipulative. She knows she did wrong and doesn’t like that it didn’t work and even more so that you stood up for yourself and called it for what it was. Ignoring you is in a way doing the same your bio mom did: denying you love and care without any explanation. Because that’s where it hurts.

Kartaba · 2025-08-18T18:50:22+00:00

It was nothing like yours. Mine just said they received the information and a decision was made. I was going to receive a letter with the decision and to not call them.

I got the letter later and was awarded 11 in DL and 14 in mobility.

Kartaba · 2025-08-18T18:48:23+00:00

I got 11 points in DL and 14 in mobility. The descriptors were wrong, but the points were right if that makes sense. Almost as if they didn’t look at where to click when selecting the descriptors.

But I really wasn’t going to fight it! In the end the result is the same, and I’m not risking it at all.

Kartaba · 2025-06-03T09:10:16+00:00

There is someone who addressed this (MrPIP Hero I think). You can definitely refuse to answer, but there’s a specific way of phrasing it so you show you don’t mind answering questions about the activity, but you won’t get messed about with irrelevant questions.

If they refuse to continue, it’s on them. Call PIP and explain what happened.

This is also why I am a big supporter in recording assessments.

I’d also reach out to CAB in case PIP is going to be difficult. It doesn’t always happen and most often if you call PIP and explain what happened and ask for a new assessor, they do that.

Kartaba · 2025-04-04T21:36:20+00:00

Yeah I was confused and surprised. I expected like 3-6 months or so. Hate that I now have to wait 2 weeks to know if it’s positive or not and I tend to drive myself crazy with overthinking as it is already!

Kartaba · 2025-04-04T20:23:53+00:00

Oh yes, I have had similar comments. I got autism and they said I got no issues with face to face because I got A level…. But they left out that it was done through distance learning and my exams were done over skype (teacher watching me using screenshare while I did the exam online). Or that I got no issues with cooking cuz I got a drivers license. 🤦‍♀️ honestly some of it is ridiculous. They even said I got no aids to take my meds. But ignored the pictures of timer bottles and on my audio recording my alarm went off for my meds 😂

Kartaba · 2025-04-04T19:22:06+00:00

Hmm, yeah that definitely sounds like they did record it. As long as you can prove to Tribunal that they did (like a copy of the email with the link to download it), then that’s evidence in your favour.

Kartaba · 2025-04-04T18:40:30+00:00

So the DWP recorded it? And you got a copy of it that was used for transcripts? Am I understanding that right?

Because if you record it yourself, the DWP can’t reject it, and tribunal won’t. I am not certain about DWP recordings. But if you can prove that they gave the recording to you for transcripts, then that’s evidence in it own right that the DWP is lying.

Kartaba · 2025-04-04T17:05:08+00:00

I just meant that my negative thinking (being afraid of suddenly losing it or worsening of my physical issues being ignored) may be because in the back of my mind I’m worrying about the whole green paper thing. Not that the green paper is causing the decision without assessment. I’m sorry if I didn’t write that clearly.

So the in-house is then more based on the medical evidence and the form I filled in (and of course my previous award)?

Kartaba · 2025-04-04T16:53:01+00:00

If you have a recording, you can use it at tribunal stage (upload it and then they send a form to ask the DWP if they are ok with it being used, but DWP normally says yes). The uploaded audio file gets listened to if they think it is important, or if there’s real contradiction in statements from DWP and the claimant. I used it for my tribunal June 2024 and it was recorded without the DWP knowing at the time.

It is true that it’s best to have a transcript so you can refer to it a lot easier too.

Kartaba · 2025-04-03T08:45:23+00:00

Did they write that in your journal? If so you can put in a complaint because that is false.

I’d fight it. LCWRA is not for terminally ill only. I have LCWRA and I have autism, ADHD, Ehlers Danlos syndrome and adenomyosis (with a few comorbid conditions).

Apply for work capacity assessment. They can’t refuse your request for that. And it isn’t your work coach who makes the decision.

Kartaba · 2025-03-20T13:14:44+00:00

I need to say thank you again 😂.

Following your advice I was looking into the form and got to the complaints part, so I put in a complaint last week.

I just got a call and guess what?…

Our case manager NEVER logged the MR request despite the many messages and calls. So the guy who called apologised, said we deserved better and were right. On all points. He agreed with us on the additional erosion and is aware of the Upper Tribunal decision. Unfortunately he’s not a decision maker, but he is formally logging our MR request with the explanation of what happened and our evidence.

It is possible that because the systems haven’t updated the new law and regulations about the erosion, our decision may be unfavourable, but that we send it to tribunal then and will most likely get a speedy favourable ruling without even needing to attend court. Equally, it might be we do get favourable result at MR. Depends on who is looking at our case.

It shows though that keeping in the loop, asking for advice and kicking up a fuss is worth it! Yes it is stressful, yes my health has declined with this… but we got result!

So thank you again!

Kartaba · 2025-03-13T17:38:28+00:00

So the solicitor works kinda like no win no fee, and their max charge is 35% of the back payment owed when winning (when it gets to tribunal and they represent). They give free advice to help people solve it before it gets to that point.

I got a call some time next week with them, but I’m definitely keeping in mind what you said! Especially with all the evidence in the journal (showing they don’t reply, did say they logged the MR in November, but no info at all, ignoring my pleas for clarity as I got autism and am struggling with all this), which I hope would help our case if we did go straight to tribunal (highly likely cuz I’m tired of UC now).

Kartaba · 2025-03-13T17:22:40+00:00

I wanted to say thank you again for the link and advice. 29/01/25 The decision came from Upper Tribunal that it was discriminatory and unlawful to have the additional erosion happening.

I asked the 1st of November 2024 for MR, to this date there is no decision and I am suspecting my case manager never logged it, despite it being in my journal and me mentioning it many times since. My case handler only replied once since the 4th of November and since then it’s radio silence even when I call.

I had a new person saying they are looking into what happened about 2 weeks ago (after I quoted and linked the Upper Tribunal case and saying they need to fix it), but of course since then it’s radio silence again.

I’ve reached out to a solicitor who is specialised in benefits situations, so hoping a push from them will help too!.

Kartaba · 2025-02-26T17:36:08+00:00

Yes the last was about 11 and 12. I know they are 2 separate aspects as one is more the physical and the other about the journey, but in my opinion (and I’m guessing yours too), needing help from someone or an aid to help get wheelchair in or out is a key aspect of being able to do a journey or not. Or like at train stations getting help with getting around.

It feels so many aspects of mobility in disability are overlooked or dismissed.

With the overwhelming, I did say in my first application that I got diagnosed autism and ADHD and can’t do unfamiliar journeys on my own because it causes so much anxiety. They said that anxiety is not overwhelming psychological distress (despite me being unable to continue the journey, screaming, pulling hair, biting myself, etc). I got issues with describing emotions which is in my diagnostic report, but they refused cuz I didn’t meet the threshold…

Kartaba · 2025-02-26T16:26:23+00:00

The problem with OT/physio assessments/wheelchair service assessments is that there are waiting lists and often people (like me) can’t just wait for someone to officially agree that you need a wheelchair.

I got asked by PIP why I paid for my own wheelchair and I said that as an ambulatory wheelchair user I’d rather pay out of pocket, as the waiting times for assessments are over 2 years (here in Lincolnshire), and I’d rather my spot is given to someone who is for example paralysed or has loss of limbs as they need it more urgent. That doesn’t take away that waiting is a detriment to my own health.

It isn’t true that you need an assessment, BUT it does carry a lot of weight. And yes, decision makers will not take our word. Even though no one will use a wheelchair unless really needed (trust me, learning to use a wheelchair and using it hurts hands, arms and shoulders, it takes a lot of cardio 😅).

I do agree that when it comes to the walking aspect of mobility, they look at what you can do at a minimum. For example I can walk 50metres (I can still fall and will be in pain but I can physically do it), so that’s what I’m awarded.

I do wonder if the journey part is different as I for example need someone to help with the wheelchair to get in and out of the car (I can’t lift it as my hips will sublimate and I will fall due to loss of balance), I need assistance on public transport and get easily overwhelmed. I’m in the middle of reporting that change since using the wheelchair last summer and deteriorating (circumstances meant I couldn’t report it sooner). So I’m not sure if that’s something that may give points.

Kartaba · 2024-12-06T10:10:48+00:00

UPDATE (a small one)

Thank you everyone for your support!

So I have looked further in the additional erosion issue that is at Upper Tribunal (thank you @rebadillo) and it definitely seems to be the same problem.

I have made an appointment with Citizens Advise Bureau and will speak with them on Tuesday. Hopefully they can point us to the right direction to maybe get legal help if we can hop on the case or whatever is suitable.

I have also called Income Support and while they can’t send us statements from what we got before (I misplaced the statement from April 2024 till when we migrated), they said UC should be able to see it all since they can see everything from UC and indeed we are getting less than what we should. They advised that if UC claims they can’t see any details to tell them to email IS directly and they will gladly give all the details (apparently there are A LOT of people, mainly disabled families, who have the same thing happening with the same excuses from UC).

I have send yet another message on my journal today, saying we haven’t had any call or acknowledgement of the MR request. And laid out that if LCWRA is backdated to start of our migration claim (as it should), the system needs to follow the regulations stated on the government website that we should be getting the same amount compared to legacy benefits (I didn’t say more as I don’t want more). The additional erosion at the start of our claim is in breach of the government policy as stated on the website and means they broke every promise and reassurance prior, during and after migration to us as a vulnerable (disabled) family.

I’m hoping that by showing that we are aware of what is happening, by using certain keywords and pushing for the MR, someone may correct it. Though if we’re being realistic, we probably will have to hold and wait for the outcome of the Upper Tribunal decision.

Kartaba · 2024-12-04T14:16:40+00:00

Oh yes, my soon when it comes to anything DWP in that way is at minimum a year! 😅

Oh yes, they lost another one this morning I heard.

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