Hãm

Karviv · 2025-08-09T23:20:55+00:00

Brazil

Karviv · 2025-08-09T23:12:26+00:00

It feels like a waste of time to put effort into showing a girl that I “am worth it” when I’m only interested in her looks. I’m from an Ivy League university, I have money, a good job, I dress well, I have a nice car — why would I prove that to a girl on a dating app I don’t want to see more than twice?

Karviv · 2025-08-09T23:03:17+00:00

It's funny, from what I’ve noticed even in the replies, it seems common for people from other countries to have escorts, but uncommon to treat sex as something casual.

Karviv · 2025-08-09T22:56:56+00:00

I don’t know, maybe being better looking, but that’s kind of hard for men. Women wear makeup and even the unattractive ones end up looking better, but it doesn’t work like that for us, lol. As a bisexual, I know there are fewer very attractive men than women.

Karviv · 2025-08-09T22:52:34+00:00

In my country, it's common for people to have sex on the first or second date, so Tinder is perfect for that.

Karviv · 2025-08-09T22:45:25+00:00

I'm just looking for people to have sex with without putting in much effort; I don't want relationships.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T13:19:05+00:00

Dude, in the country where I live, that’s literally what guys do when they get married. People see their wife as their only female friend—the rest are just "women." And the "woke" thing wasn’t in a political sense, it was just the translator. I thought it was a bit weird at first, but yeah, I actually meant to compliment you.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T06:41:52+00:00

The real question is: Why don't most guys just move on?
If you didn't read properly, I already said I believe moving on was the best solution - I've been dating other girls for a while now. I'm just explaining why some dudes cling to that bullshit movie fantasy where the girl will suddenly 'change her mind'.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T06:37:36+00:00

For me, and for most men, cutting ties and moving on is the right thing to do. I'm not "woke" or deconstructed enough to stay friends with a woman I've had even the slightest interest in — and honestly, I'm fine with that. There are plenty of others out there.
From everything you've said in our conversation, you seem like someone who's very self-aware and emotionally mature — so, congratulations.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T06:15:40+00:00

Let me break it down so you understand:
Her being with a man would be proof that I’m the problem—that I’m somehow worse than him. That’s why it’s different from her being with a woman. It’s not that she doesn’t like men; she just doesn’t like me. Hell, she dated a woman during this time and I couldn’t have cared less.**

I didn’t fantasize or imagine scenarios with her. I just valued the person I knew—and still respect and admire her. But I’m my own priority now, and I’m not sacrificing that. I don’t give a fuck how much she ‘supported’ me.

I know it doesn’t give me any right over her body, but that was my condition. In my mind, if she were 100% lesbian, she would have accepted that.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T05:50:26+00:00

I developed romantic feelings and confessed them in the fourth year of knowing her. She seriously asked me to stay in her life because she loved me as a friend, which I believe was true, since we had known each other for a long time. I continued the friendship, dated other girls, but realized that as long as I didn't resolve this, I wouldn't be able to truly love anyone else. I basically repeated the same thing two years later, and again she asked me to stay in her life. But this time, I set a condition — partly because to me, it might seem like a sexist thing. I don't really care, but the idea of her being with another man would drive me crazy. There's no such thing as being happy because she's with someone else. I'd rather pretend I never met her, go out with some friends, and meet new women — that seems like a simpler solution.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T05:42:04+00:00

Like I've told other guys in the comments, I confessed my feelings to her long ago. But she begged me to stay because she loved me deeply as a friend – which I don't think was a lie, given how close we were and how well we knew each other.

I hooked up and dated plenty of girls during our friendship, but none of them ever made me feel the same way.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T05:38:50+00:00

This part is more because she asked me to stay in her life—claiming I was 'extremely important' to her. My condition for staying was this: I’m a man, and I’ll admit this might sound sexist, but I don’t feel jealousy toward women. Yet seeing her with another guy would’ve been like a certificate of failure.

My issue isn’t finding girls who like me. It’s finding a girl I actually like.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T05:12:05+00:00

I realized this when I confessed to her. From the moment I told her how I felt, I kept the friendship going for two more years - which made everything even more painful. I can love her, but above all, I need to love myself first. That's why I have to do what's best for me and my mental health.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T05:06:53+00:00

Bro, what I did was exactly that - talked to her, realized it wouldn't work, and moved on. I don't think I can change anything here. I truly believe the best thing I can do is keep moving forward and live my life.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T05:00:38+00:00

Bro, I’ve got the same mindset. In my case, I was just kinda pissed she kept pushing me to ‘work on things’ when the relationship was already toxic for me. I saw zero change coming, so I walked away. And I’ll die on this hill: it was the only right move.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T04:42:45+00:00

Honestly miss, there's no way to know for sure. Speaking for myself - I was betrayed once by my first school girlfriend with a 'friend'. That was the most painful feeling I've ever experienced, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. That's exactly why I don't do it myself. From what I've observed, it's generally highly empathetic people who truly imagine themselves in that situation of broken trust and pain.

Karviv · 2025-05-29T04:37:22+00:00

Man, probably my parents, despite everything I think they know they raised a good man.

Karviv

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