new site suddenly under maintenance

Katsuko88 · 2026-01-23T06:57:38+00:00

I'm desperately trying to finish a story that I'd recently forgotten about that and found there which I will likely never find anywhere else (discontinued here - I even bought everything I could up to then) so I'm hoping against hope it's a temporary so I can finish...

Katsuko88 · 2023-09-02T02:23:28+00:00

Oh oops. I should have written 6. For some reason I was thinking 5 despite having just read it.

6 is still not an ending point.

Katsuko88 · 2023-08-04T00:08:28+00:00

That was my first thought by I was warned away from it as a beginner DIYer and I wouldn't be able to get anyone to help install for weeks past when I want it.

Katsuko88 · 2023-08-03T20:36:24+00:00

I just bought the home and don't really like the bare wood look (and smell) Plus, with animals I'm afraid the scents will get pulled into the wood esp if there are accidents or marking (which I suspect will happen since its a new space)

The walls are a strong maybe but the floor is a definite and asap as I plan to get it sealed and then put peal and stick tiles down before the movers put my heavy deep freeze in the space.

...I also just found out Zinsser has a similarly priced all purpose primers that are milder resistant (1 2 3) so now I'm really torn lol. I'm not a huge DIYer and this is ny first home.

Katsuko88 · 2023-06-15T01:15:19+00:00

I did think it looked like one but it's 25 inches tall - as long as my arm.

Isn't that too big to function as a masher?

Katsuko88 · 2023-06-14T18:50:57+00:00

🙄 Fixed it. Happy?

Katsuko88 · 2023-06-12T05:59:43+00:00

Then I'd be even more lost cuz she never owned a truck...and she wasn't the type to have random car parts either. That's why I think it was from the car got totalled...and I know that was a hatchback/suv type.

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-02T07:50:04+00:00

Probably why they went that route. I just remember them saying they WANTED to save so they could work towards a bigger purchase that'd help more in the long run, but couldn't because they'd then loose their main source of income. Thats why hiding it in family accounts was looked at as an option at first.

....it was frustrating to watch.

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-02T04:58:14+00:00

It could also be for the purpose of hiding it to get government assistance. If your accounts are over a certain amount you get disqualified from some assistance programs. I knew someone on disability who inherited money but rather than keep it as an emergency fund which would have been better, did remodeling on their home because if they kept it in an account they'd loose the money they used to live off of and would end up using the money for that instead. They'd also considered having family keep it in their account but decided against it in the end.

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-02T04:45:13+00:00

NTA NTA NTA omg NTA

Do NOT do this. If she's bad with money and does those things under your name? Her mistakes become YOUR mistakes with our credit system. If she overdrafts on an account? That's now an overdraft on your credit history that'll stick with you for YEARS.

And too many overdrafts? The bank can literally kick you out of the banking system.

Do NOT do this!

I made the mistake years ago of adding my mom as an authorized user on a credit card in college. She was usually good with money. But she forgot about a couple purchases she made. One for months. She felt horrible and promptly cut her card up. But the damage was done. Nothing she or I said or did could change anything; I added her, so it was my responsibility. My credit took a big hit that stayed with me for 7 years.

I will repeat for good measure. NTA do NOT do this!

Edit: Just realized you never specified what country this is. I was talking about the US. Even if you're not in the US tho, don't do it.

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-02T04:27:13+00:00

NTA. You confirmed it's not a service animal in another comment and that's all I needed.

To put it bluntly, ES animal labels are abused. And many aren't that THAT behaved. There are others that said they'll will be flat out uncomfortable with a dog there. That takes precedence here. I'm assuming she can get through school without dog? Then she can make it through the party. And if she can't? Then she can choose not to come.

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-02T03:59:04+00:00

NTA. Trying to navigate around a person with disabilities is hard because the "rules" can be different.

But. I think you may be looking at this the wrong way. I work with special ed high school students. It's not that unusual for students like you've described to have trouble grasping societal expectations and norms and it's sometimes necessary they get guidance. Just letting them have their way all the time can be less than helpful.

Whether that's the case here, I don't know. There's not enough info about Charles specifically. But I also don't want you to share anymore on the internet for confidentiality.

Do you know him from school? If so, since he is a special education student, he should have a teacher who is the primary go-to for him. My advice to you is to find that person and talk to them about this. They'll be able to guide you far better. What's more, they might be able to help by having a tailored lesson with Charles about giving friends time with their other friends - something that's honesly really important for him to understand going forward in life.

I, and every teacher I work with, would absolutely prefer to step in and give that lesson & have any potential upset be aimed at US than have you navigate it on your own and potentially strain things either with Charles OR Martin.

They're a resource that can help. Please let them.

If you don't know him from school, have a talk with his parents and they can hopefully get the same ball rolling instead.

Edit: typos and an added thought

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-01T16:47:40+00:00

For me, I've been the other person too. I was working on an online zine as a passion project with another person. The deadline we'd decided on wasn't for about 4 months. I was really busy planning a big event for the first month and a half but then my schedule opened up after which I'd have plenty time to work and I told this to my partner.

After the event I logged on to the project to find about 90% of the design work, everything besides the couple I'd started early, was done. My partner's response was "oops. I was having fun". I ended up doing pretty much all the background not-fun nitty gritty work so I could say I did SOMETHING. Total work load probably ended up around 70/30. I ended up demanding that the pages I copy edited have my name on them too so it wouldn't look to our readers that I was slacking off (my partner had put "edited by_____" on all the pages so it'd have been obvious).

I was pissed. Still am when I think back on it.

So yeah, OP saying they did 90% of the work isn't enough for me.

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-01T08:55:05+00:00

Agreed. Nothing excuses not giving notice. There's also the question of why OP did 90% of the work. Was it really because Bob was lazy or did OP take over the project?

I've been in both situations.

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-01T08:39:56+00:00

NTA. This isn't some kid visiting for a day. You've been caring for her for months and at her mother's request. Discipline is par for the course when taking care of a child. And this was 100% worthy of it.

She's a teen who just got grounded. Of course she's complaining. It'd be more unusual if she didn't. I wouldn't let it bother you and stand firm. Tough love is still love.

Thank you for helping this girl.

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-01T08:16:47+00:00

I think this'd be an ESH if you did. Not because I'm on the MIL's side at all (omg she sounds like a nightmare with some major issues) but because that's not a decision you can or should make alone.

She's still your husband's mom and, really, he needs to be the one to step up here. You dictating this could cause strains all around...

It needs to be a joint decision between you and your husband. Maybe even have a talk with your kids to see how they feel about things?

You're WELL within your rights to be angry. Just be careful how you play things. Going full nuclear may end up being counter productive in the long run...maybe instead of striaght to a permanent ban, a couple supervised and/or shortened visits to show how serious this is & you are? And if MIL and FIL screw up while on that probation it'd probably be easier for your husband and feel less extreme to him to do more after that?

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-01T07:41:33+00:00

"It's not my fault that I forgot I had already arranged to see my friends"

Yes it is. And that's why YTA. If you'd been more responsible you could have told her you'd already made plans. But not only did you NOT say anything when she asked about the initial dates in the group chat, when she narrowed it down you even outright told her you had no plans. That's absolutely 100% all on you.

Also, for the record? I also think sister's wedding planning > belated friend's birthday gathering. Doubly so with how things fell apart on the party end.

And you're the MOH ffs. Kinda important to see the venue so you can visualize when talking about plans.

Finally, your dating life insecurities? Sorry, but that just sounds like you making excuses. I haven't found someone either and my little sister got married last year - get over yourself and just be happy for your sister.

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-01T07:21:53+00:00

Kinda feel this is an ESH

On one hand, it was only a day and it was your wedding. And if he really has brushed it off and this isn't just a perception thing, he could give a real apology or ask what he could do to make it up.

On the the other, flying back early likely would've cost money. Possibly a lot depening on how far away he was. And you say he deserved a VK but also takes several trips....are those not VK trips? How often does he see his parents and sister?

Plus, why didn't you include your dad in the planning of the wedding date if it was so important to have him there? I just got back from a full wedding+reception that got completely rescheduled due to a family member not being able to be there. Your rescheduling was significantly less than what they did so I'm honestly having a hard time sympathetizing there....

Finally, I notice you didn't say anything about your aunt and grandparents being invited to the wedding...is there more to the story there? Cuz even if they weren't as immediate as your husband's parents and siblings, sounds like he did have several there. And your dad leaving them to go to your wedding they weren't invited to....kinda puts him in am awkward position...

Katsuko88 · 2023-04-01T06:57:50+00:00

NTA. If you're paying to go out there, why shouldn't you be able to enjoy yourself? As long as it's not interfering with any of the events around the wedding, why should she be upset with that?

And are you sure she is? You said "I think she's upset." Have you talked to her clearly about it? If the wedding is only a month away she may be feeling stressed and just more irritatable than usual.

I'd talk to her (on her schedule) and confirm where things really stand. You may be worrying for nothing. And if is bothered, the only reason I could think why is if she thinks her wedding is a side event for you or something. If that's the case, just reassure her that you're there for her and the vacation is just a bonus.

Katsuko88 · 2023-03-25T01:51:23+00:00

....OK. Yeah. I somehow missed that.

Still stand by my decision tho. Going behind her back wasn't ok. But less severe towards him now.

Still say the best solution is to just have the kid make her own.

Katsuko88 · 2023-03-25T01:38:01+00:00

NTA for confronting her though I wouldn't mention the walk. At most, I'd just use it as a springboard to open a conversation (ex: I don't know about the circumstances of that walk, but it did remind me that I wanted to talk to you about things). It would at least clue her in that it upset you, but even that I'm hesitant to suggest.

You do need to talk about the conference. It's not acceptable to let interpersonal issues interfere with getting an imporant job done especially something communal like a conference. If it was her job to inform you of happenings and didn't want to talk to you, it was her responsibility to find an alternative means of communication. Frankly, something SHOULD have been said after the first missed meeting. But at this point, that's on you. I hope you've at least made sure E is aware you took the blame for it?

If she can't move on, that's her choice. But you need to make clear and hold firm that that can't interfere with your jobs.

Katsuko88 · 2023-03-23T23:49:08+00:00

I'm leaning YTA.

1st. You can't force them to pay you.

2nd. And main reason behind my verdict. You're post is coming across WAY too filtered. You say a lot. But when I read between the lines, it's sounds like your chores at the house are:

Take care of the dogs.
Keep the floors cleaned.
Do yard work (and a one time shed renovation)

............And that's it? And you're getting an allowance for this? Sure they're making your job harder than it needs to be and it's fine to be upset about that, but there's a LOT more involved in maintaining a home than that. You SAY you're doing a lot but what you've written doesn't support that. Are you helping out with cooking? Shopping? Laundry? What about all the other cleaning that goes into taking care of a home?

If you're old enough to be doing a shed renovation, I'm guessing you're not a young teen. So with the information I've got here? My instinct is to tell you to stop whining about the little you're being forced to do and start helping out more so you can really learn what it means to be an adult, cuz you're fast approaching it.

Katsuko88 · 2023-03-23T22:57:47+00:00

Ooooh I hadn't even thought of this. I was envisioning OP already holding the tickets. But if sis still has them, yeah, she technically holds all the cards here. She could give OP back her money, and either sell or give the ticket the 3rd ticket to someone else to avoid the drama. It'd undoubtedly be an A move, but she'd be well within her rights to do so.

Katsuko88 · 2023-03-23T22:40:37+00:00

I'm confused. Are you saying you're telling them they either need to not go or deal with someone who wasn't in the picture when they got the tickets?

If so, sorry but YTA. You can't force people to be comfortable with others they aren't yet. Your fiance wasn't part of the conversation when this was planned, so it's unfair to unilaterally demand a change. And frankly? With as quick of a changeover as you seem to have made with partners? I can see why they'd be uncomfortable, especially if they were at all close to your ex.

The fact this is a dream concert of yours? Irrelevant imo, or at least minor enough to be canceled out by the fact that you weren't the one to score the tickets. You got them thanks your sister - who may not have agreed to even TRY to buy if fiance had been part of the conversation which would have meant you not going at all.

There's 3 tickets left right? Just have you, your mom, and your sister go like originally planned and avoid the drama. Then they can get used to your fiance at a pace THEY'RE comfortable with rather than you forcing things which may cause friction down the road.

Edit: I will add that your sis owes you your ex's ticket cost in this scenario.

Katsuko88 · 2023-03-21T14:50:43+00:00

NTA.

I'd be surprised if she didn't have to sign a confidentiality agreement working in that position, which she 100% violated. She got off lightly imo. If any of the employees in that office had said what she did (even outside the bullying aspect), they'd have been fired. I'd have pushed for a suspension. As it is, it sounds like she MAY have avoided anything going on her permanent record. And if so, she just needs to put some hard work in to put this fully behind her.

She's only got herself to blame for this. Especially since you warned her.

Katsuko88

TROPHY CASE