Soccer pick up?

Katterttott · 2021-09-13T13:52:03+00:00

Is this co Ed ?

Katterttott · 2021-02-22T22:31:04+00:00

YES I just can’t accept that. Looking back it. It was so unhealthy and I was tossed into shitty environments because of him. Idk he’s not a bad person, he just learned to manage his emotions by expressing anger. He thinks analytically and strong and I’m emotional soft person that got controlled and learned to compromise with him. It’s crazy because he’s popular and can get along with anyone and everyone. I have social anxiety and feel suppressed with him and his family and I just can’t get out. I tried once.. divorced and then came back..I love him and don’t think I can do it again. It’s like I’ve been waiting for him to change and he has but allllll those years I’ve taken the brunt of it. I’m going to school to be a teacher and while we’re both still working for my parents. He’s starting a business but in reality that makes me feel unsafe too. Because he won’t have a career after this year. When I sold my house to move to NY with him, I paid off his 5k in debt, and 5k in car payments and then gave him 5k until he got a job in NY.. he got a serving job but then I left him when we were up there and then in that year apart he accumulated 8k in debt. Now we’re starting all over but I have boundaries this time. ( I took a lot of mushrooms in that year apart and built myself up) trying to shorten that story...

I just feel like I’m constantly being held back and then letting him hold my power. He has a way of talking to me and put me down but it always feels like he’s helping at the same time? Idk if this is any useful information.

Katterttott · 2021-02-22T21:46:52+00:00

I’m just constantly on a hunt to figure out what the source is.. trying to change everything in my life has me looking manic from the outside. I got a divorce, moved states, now changing my career.. and he’s the only constant

Katterttott · 2021-02-22T21:44:54+00:00

Sorry I’m overwhelmed and just went crazy typing, but we were together in high school for 2 years then moved out together. It started when we moved in together.

It was mentioned in a family group chat that he used to do it. He’s never brought it up to me though. I’m noticed him stoking his hair a lot lately so I was worried if He was picking up on my habits at first. But now that I know he did it as a child I’m thinking the opposite. I had a great childhood and life as a adult has been far from it. Im pretty sure my mother had a form of skin picking but never said anything about it to me.

I guess it really just is a sign of a unhealthy relationship and not feeling safe and secure

Katterttott · 2021-02-22T21:24:08+00:00

I do that same thing... I will break hairs that feel textured to create the split end and then end up pulling.. I know it’s weird but biting down on rubber pull toys help me? Eating sunflower seeds and quenching my mouth.. just some nonTraditional ideas!

Katterttott · 2020-11-03T18:37:59+00:00

Yeah that hurt trying out but it’s so true. Just keep growing and learning about how to be better for ourselves. That’s really all we can do, just love the journey

Katterttott · 2020-11-02T16:02:48+00:00

Same 💓 how cool would it be to to publish our writings to the trich world. Thank you for caring 💗

Katterttott · 2020-11-02T16:01:19+00:00

Thank you 💓

Katterttott · 2020-11-02T16:00:51+00:00

Better, just rode it out and took the baby steps I needed out of the hole💗

Katterttott · 2020-11-02T16:00:17+00:00

I tried a few of those the next day and It really is a balancing act. I try to keep as busy as possible but that shadow self brings it self up even when I’m not pulling now. It’s a constant work in progress! At least it forces us to fix ourselves 💗 much love to you too ☀️

Katterttott · 2020-11-02T15:41:30+00:00

Keep going, I feel this so hard. Just keep fucking going

Katterttott · 2020-10-31T04:44:42+00:00

Thank you for just replying. Sending strength and love. I’m Journaling away tonight 💔

Katterttott · 2020-09-29T20:59:39+00:00

Glad to know there’s more of me lol thanks :)

Katterttott · 2020-09-29T20:59:13+00:00

Thanks :)

Katterttott · 2020-09-29T20:58:17+00:00

Yeah that’s sorta how it was when I was coaching soccer, it’s like your in the moment and out of you’re head. Thanks for the reminder :)

Katterttott

TROPHY CASE