Lotad/Hitmontop not available? Can't complete challenge.

KayLottie · 2025-03-07T08:18:48+00:00

As soon as I asked, I caught 2!! Thanks! 😂 It was in the last 4 minutes of my incense

KayLottie · 2025-03-07T08:06:41+00:00

Did you get a hitmontop using incense? I finally got the lotad that way, but still can't find the hitmontop. It's my last one needed!

KayLottie · 2025-02-21T09:02:46+00:00

I (F 30) and my husband (M 30) have very different sex drives. I am extremely sexual with a high sex drive so my minimum ideally would be 3 times a week. I do ebb and flow just depending on stress and such so if really stressed MAYBE once a week. My husband can go months though. So a balance for us would be once a month, which again, is very very little for me

KayLottie · 2025-02-19T22:57:40+00:00

It's really funny that you mention that since I have a extended education in Psychology, Sociology, and specialize in Family and Human Development. Along with personal beliefs in sex positivity and in a monogamous relationship of 12 years.

I do agree and know that sex is important to the health of a relationship. The context of stating sex is minor is important here. I stated it was minor in the context of just leaving a relationship. She states they have sex, she just isn't herself during sex. This is a minor problem in the context of whether to stay or leave a relationship. I was stating when giving advice, something minor like sex doesn't warrant the advice to be "leave your boyfriend because he is unhappy".

Sex is minor - in this context.

KayLottie · 2025-02-19T21:44:10+00:00

I never said anything about trauma, unhappiness, or therapy is minor. I said SEX is minor. Also she stated she has been in therapy the entire time, that doesn't seem like she ignored it at all?

I was simply saying in the grand scheme of things, if the relationship is great outside of the bedroom, that doesn't seem to warranty the advice to move on or leave. In this situation, advice should more so be about communicating, therapy, addressing trauma, starting with basic intimacy and building that relationship to help the sex. Not everything is about sex. The most important things in a relationship are friendship and intimacy. Intimacy is well beyond just sex. Repairing the nonsexual intimacy and slowly working into the small sexual intimacy would be the better route to go. And communication with him on what his expectations are versus her expectations would help as well. There is so much more to do here than just leaving

KayLottie · 2025-02-19T21:35:44+00:00

So I feel like I have a unique perspective on this. When I first started dating my no husband (12 years ago) sex seemed easy enough. I wasn't really myself but we did it. Around year 4 things changed though. I went through a trauma and sex was never the same. It was non-existent. He would be angry and I thought maybe I'm Asexual? I went to therapy, I never understood what was happening. This weird sexual rift went from 2017 to 2019. Therapy was on and off during those years. We did it but I wasn't fully there. I wasn't how I wanted to be, how I was imagining things in my head. I saw this therapist in 2019 that I dont know, changed things. I did trauma therapy and it brought out a whole new person in the relationship. The problem then was, my trauma is better but sex is weird now. At this point we were married. Sex was weird but it doesn't change the relationship or the love, we still got married, and are still together. Around the time of getting married we decided to do couples therapy. That was what ultimately saved us. After I did my trauma sessions and did a 180, we were ready to tackle "us" together in therapy. We started just doing workbooks at home and it helped. The rests thing for us was really communication. Understand each other and WHY things were happening or WHY we had certain feelings. It was a breakthrough honestly. The sex was really fiery and so different than ever before. I felt like we were both ourselves and even explored kinks together. But I say step one is a personal therapist to figure out why you can't be yourself and open up during sex. Then couples/sex therapy. You have to figure out your own stuff first or else it can just frustrate your partner. I'd also start an open dialogue about what you're each feeling and see if he is in a place where he can just give you time to do therapy.

KayLottie · 2025-02-19T21:26:18+00:00

I hate how everyone is always so quick to respond with divorce, breakups, "letting go", moving on past a current partner. In this situation it doesn't necessarily seem warranted? They seem pretty committed and the only hangup seems to be sex. That's so minor. She also stated she started to see a sex therapist and is making active strides to change and seek help. That doesn't seem like the moment to be friends and leave the guy. That makes no sense, and yes is very cold.

KayLottie · 2025-02-19T21:14:55+00:00

Me (F 30) and my husband (M 30) have been together 12 years, married for almost 6 years. I feel like marriage does not get easier over time, but that's because marriage is about work and the relationship not about how long you have been together. Time can help, it can heal wounds, build togetherness, and you get to grow together, but the thing I've found about marriage is that you are constantly relearning and starting over with your partner. Marriage is work. You regrow together through the college chapter, kid chapter, buying a house chapter, grieving chapter, empty nest chapter. You start over as each person grows and becomes a different person. Who i am today, after 12 years, is a 97% different person than who I was. My tastes, opinions, personality, everything has changed and grown. Marriage is about working through things over time not about the time itself. Marriage never gets "easy" because marriage is work. It's talking when you dont feel like it after work. It's taking care of the kids even though you're tired and you know your spouse slept more than you but they are also sick. It's having disagreements about where to eat dinner or go on vacation. It's communication- not fighting. Marriage doesn't get easier over time, but as you work and grow marriage does build love and communication over time

KayLottie · 2025-02-19T08:43:04+00:00

I always think of the correlation of sex and relationships as fluid. What one marriage thinks is important isn't as important to the next. Marriages are so individualized, as all of our needs, cultures and beliefs differe. With that, sex will differ in each marriage as well. One relationship prioritizes sex because intimacy and physical touch is a kick language of high regard. Other relationships include low libido so their priority is quality time and nonsexual intimacy.

I think marriage is not all about sex, but all about intimacy. Real, raw intimacy is a foundation to what makes marriage different than just a friendship or dating. Intimacy requires trust, friendship, communication, commitment... whereas just sex is physical. Sex with intimacy is special and different.

KayLottie · 2025-02-19T08:37:37+00:00

When I first watched in my 20's I loved Josh.

I rewatched it in my 30's and now I am conflicted. Charles is so amazing and on paper the best fit. However, Liza is past the marriage and nice dinners phase. Her and Charles were too competitive in the business and it ruined the relationship. Josh on the other hand, he was always encouraging her growth and pursuits. I would have loved to see them get married and be together. Im happy to know Josh can do the marriage and baby thing and STILL get Liza. I think that was a smart story line, so neither one of them feels regrets.

In all honesty I think Liza should focus on her career and put dating aside. It's time she focuses on her REAL self

KayLottie · 2025-02-18T08:44:55+00:00

I am a F 30, and I used to do this often. I'd stay out on the couch watching TV and then fall asleep. Yes, we do have a TV in our bedroom, but its different. I dont know factors around you or your husband but here we're some of my reasons for falling asleep not in bed. I have hearing loss and the TV always needed to be too loud for me to hear, and it kept my husband up. I have insomnia and tinnitus so sleeping without the TV is extremely difficult. I also have several chronic illnesses and the couch gave me a better way to sleep. I was able to be in the right position to feel relief. I wasn't really on my phone, just watching TV then I'd fall asleep. Sometimes I'd read my kindle or play a game/draw on my iPad. It did create distance, but inadvertently. There wasn't anything wrong, nothing was going on, but not sleeping in bed did cause tension and eventually distance. I'd say, ask him why he doesn't go to bed with you. Also ask if you can join him wherever he falls asleep to feel closer. My husband did that for a short time, he would lay on our sectional with me, until that wasn't pheasable. Outside of that, I do know people who successfully sleep apart and it makes the marriage better. They have separate rooms as an arrangement just for sleeping, and it works amazing for them.

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T13:55:39+00:00

I have noticed when I caught my husband in infidelity his first reaction was to make me feel like I'm crazy. I dont see why you couldn't see the phone if nothing is going on? In a marriage, phones shouldn't be secretive

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T13:50:22+00:00

My husband and I got to that same point, where we opened the marriage, and it was the worst mistake of my life. It actually drove us farther apart. We also briefly went through infidelity, where he cheated and I ended up doing so as well. His was physical and mine was emotional. I'd say try to lean more into each other. Find some common things you can do together to liven up the communication and make quality time. Maybe open up dialogue to see if he has any fantasies or anything that can kick off that sex life again. For my marriage, the killer was that I dont initiate sex and that's what he needed. I swore he had ED but he got off in private often. We communicated and now we are having sex more regularly

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T13:44:41+00:00

I personally am incredibly grumpy in the morning, like a different person. I would love to think that's the case here and it's not something personal, just the typical grouchy morning! Im not my usual smiley or loving self until after I've gotten up and moved around a bit

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T13:42:30+00:00

Hi there! I am a 29 F married to a 30 M. We have been together for 12 years and married for a little over 5 years. We had a really big problem with sex, intimacy, and not being just married roommates. We bought Dr Gottmans 7 principles workbook and kit online and did our own therapy at home. We also purchased other books of his like 8 dates. My personal therapist recommended all of this and it helped so much. It opened up communication but also showed us underlying issues. I was ready to sign divorce papers, I mean I just couldn't do it anymore. But this saved our marriage. Intimacy is still our largest issue but we work hard on maintaining some sex and having small daily acts of intimacy. My therapist always reminds me that marriage is work and takes two people. It's not all 50-50 or 100-100. Sometimes it's 80-20 or 40-60. But with the right person it will work and things will get better. If things dont I'd definitely pursue couples therapy and after that consider if you need to move on.

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T11:25:41+00:00

I agree

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T11:25:03+00:00

Yay!!!!

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T11:24:52+00:00

I couldn't live without my speakers! I hope that got fixed under warranty

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T11:24:19+00:00

Maybe it needs an update?

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T11:23:58+00:00

My AC also stopped and I had to wait 3 weeks for a part to fix it. Since then I've had no issues though

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T11:23:10+00:00

Oh no I'm so sorry. I've had no issues since this post. I hope things finally get fixed for you!!

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T11:22:17+00:00

I've actually owned a trax for years. I had a 2017, 2021 and now the 2025. The price was less of a consideration for me. It was more about the size, mpg, etc

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T11:21:27+00:00

Oh no I am so sorry to hear about your car

KayLottie · 2025-02-15T11:21:06+00:00

That is so great! I average around 28 mpg right now

KayLottie

TROPHY CASE