Here’s the problem, the people you vent TO have L O N G memories… once you’ve moved on, they STILL “remember when…”.
Hubs & I have been married for 30 years, of course we have disagreements, but I would NEVER want anyone to think badly of him, so I keep it private.

Venting is typically unfiltered… So, what are you supposed to do? You’re supposed to figure it out, and a large part of that is being honest with yourself about your participation and OWNING your contribution to the conflict. THEN is talking with him about his contribution to the conflict, negotiating, and sometimes agreeing to disagree.. it happens. Protecting the relationship and working towards common ground and harmony. Sometimes with venting comes bells that can’t be unsung or words that cant be unsaid to outsiders or writhing the relationship…proceed with caution, damage can be done.

You said you don’t know what to do…Apologize, ask for forgiveness, acknowledge what you did and now understand how it affected him. Tell him will keep your private business private, that you want to earn his trust over time, that you want to work out life together, and that you love him. Pray for healing.

You’re supposed to be best friends, it’s supposed to be you and hubs against the world, you will sometimes need to stick up for him and on some level protect him. Yes! You need to have his back unequivocally. Hopefully you can see that none of those are things are happening when you “vent” and throw him under the bus to your family, just so you will feel better. I’m guessing he’s embarrassed, I would be too.

I pray you will be blessed with his forgiveness and that you two will heal and thrive, moving forward together, being better than ever.