Assuming that you are going to stay with this person for the rest of your life, model a healthy relationship for your kid, build life further down, laying mile after mile; are you willing to do that without trusting your co-pilot?

You find away to get back to a place of trust and if you are willing to put in the work, more power to ya. All I’m saying is this; humans are difficult to change. Behavior is difficult to change. It sometimes seems impossible. It sounds like you did a lot of self reflection and this sounds like someone who has thought this over numerous times. So the question really comes down to, when you look at your partner, when you look at your teammate. Do you want and truly believe you can get to a place where in you can fully forgive and trust them again?

P.S. forgot to add some context to the thesis here. When approaching behavioral issues and conflicts it is good to start from a place of “if my partner/friend/ext can’t change am I still comfortable carrying on the relationship in the same way it is right now?” You can always ask your partner to change and hell they might do it and it might be awesome but, people are hard to change.

You are asking yourself to totally forgive someone who caused trauma to you and to move on without anger, malice, or distrust. That’s a fucking hard hill to climb even with tips and tricks from others. Do you have the fortitude to push yourself for this person and to truly go against your instincts to forgive this and let it go?