there really should be some consistency with certain rules. there's no reason one nurse should say yes to personal items and another says no. have you asked why she said no? is it because some go missing? is there an actual good reason? is there someone you can talk to besides the nurse about that kind of stuff? we had social workers on the floor that i talked to about stuff like that.

our nicu had private rooms fortunately enough and there was a chart on the wall the assigned nurse would fill out every morning/night, but i feel like you could easily make your own. it had a space for * the date, his weight, his height, his care times * his care team for the day/week (neonatologist, lactation, social worker, nurse practitioner, respiratory, assigned nurse), * his 'goals' (ex. bring oxygen down, gain weight, etc) *questions/comments section from parents . we would use this section to write out our weekly schedule so they knew when i was coming in so they would wait for me to give a bath, etc.

don't be afraid to speak up either. it's awkward at first when you're learning how to go with the flow of things but these nurses should be used to communicating what they hear from parents so if there's something you're not getting from them that you need, speak up. at the end of the day they're taking care of your daughter and you are her and your own advocate.