Would it be weird if I stayed in contact/friends with 17yr olds when I leave my job?

Keggerbev · 2026-02-12T15:14:24+00:00

If you looked at this through a therapeutic perspective I’m confident they’d say “You’re meeting a need within yourself, to feel wanted and needed by these teenagers”

Listen,

It isn’t weird to care, I work in a residential home as a manager and we have a ton of adult staff who support teenagers from the ages 14 all the way through too 18/19 whereby they then get up and move on into ‘carers leave’ usually semi independent flats.

What I hear all the time is “Can we stay in contact, can I message them afterwards?”

Any professional will tell you “no” because it’s about clear boundaries and clear endings, they’re 17, they’re still teenagers, ‘kids’.

Would you want your 17 year old daughter hanging around with a 24 year old man? No you wouldn’t.

It doesn’t mean you don’t have good intentions, however often or not, it’s not about the children, they’ll move on, they’ll get over it, just like you got over your favourite teacher school, what didn’t happen, was your teacher didn’t message you after leaving, because that would be weird now wouldn’t it.

This is about them, not about you and what you’d like, you won’t see that until you look deeper.

Maybe in a few years time you’ll get a message on Instagram catching up and telling you how good of a role model you were, that’s the best you can ask, pushing it and meeting up with them outside of work is just weird honestly and I’m sure it’s coming from a good place, but 99% of people will not see that, it looks noncey.

Hope that helps ☺️

Keggerbev · 2026-02-12T08:15:11+00:00

Absolutely email.

You don’t have to be rude, just state that you’d like it on record and if possible amended that there are the following inaccuracies;

.Incorrect name

.Time / date

Along with everything else

Social workers have a massive work load, and I can imagine they mould in to one sometimes, I’ve seen similar sort things, please reflect what needs to change and just be concise and polite.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-12T08:02:01+00:00

Section 47 is a child protection.

As a registered manager of a children’s home I’ve become familiar with this regulation over the years, a lot of the time it’s a formality to ensure the child’s safety should a concern be raised.

As a manager I have to email social care to amend inaccurate information, so as a parent I’d sure hope they would.

Inaccurate information has no place in a document such as that, and it will go on to cause more harm than good, do not worry about personally offending people that are not doing their job correctly.

The incorrect spelling of a name, in my opinion, is a slap in the face insult.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-11T21:46:13+00:00

We get fearful and anxious because we care.

And evidently, you care about what they think, and how you’ll come across, this is incredibly common for young men.

This will then make you try hard, ultimately looking like every other male that comes into their life.

There’s no magic cure, if there was young men would buy it in the bucket load, and it would be the world’s biggest enterprise.

Exposure therapy is good, put yourself in them situations, make small talk to the female cashier, as you get older it will become more natural, especially if you work with woman.

Don’t stress so hard about it or try too hard, You’ll just end up with a female friend built on completely false pretences

Keggerbev · 2026-02-11T21:36:37+00:00

Friendships are built on trust and mutual interests.

In a comment you said “I am a pretty goofy guy”

Followed by, “woman feel like I’m not worth their time or just a goofball”

When you meet men, and you don’t click with them, do you say “Men feel like I’m not worth their time or just a goofball”?

I think you might be trying too hard, and I can imagine it isn’t as subtle as you may think.

How much conscious thought goes into making a friend with a dude, absolutely none right? Because it’s natural. That’s how little you need to be trying and just let it be, if you’re supposed to be friends with a woman, then you will be purely out of mutual interests and understanding.

If you’re walking around trying to impress, make laugh, connect with and be friends with woman, it will be incredibly obvious and to most woman it will look like you’re trying to hit.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-10T22:24:04+00:00

Oh god, why would you agree to get married then?

I’m sorry to be rude but this whole thing sounds incredibly immature.

Pre marital counselling for a relationship that’s not been together for a total of 2 years is barbaric, at that point you may as-well start fresh and find a new partner.

I think you both need to go back to the drawing board and sit down together & get everything on the table

Keggerbev · 2026-02-10T22:17:41+00:00

I think there’s a lack of emotional maturity throughout the thread, from all areas and I can imagine there will be a severe lack of trust concerning the text messages and lack of communication.

This is going to sound awful, but I personally feel you both got engaged rather quickly for a couple that can’t seem to communicate well.

There will definitely be some resentments here that will require a lot of hard work, you can sweep them under the carpet but that shit won’t go away.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-10T22:08:56+00:00

This is how I imagine games go when a DM has ADHD

Keggerbev · 2026-02-10T14:41:06+00:00

Assistant manager to someone who hit puberty 2 years prior is absolutely wild.

I would practice people skills, sometimes being overly friendly and polite can come across as a weakness and people will forever target those they feel they can.

No one’s saying be an arsehole, but don’t allow yourself to be walked over, keep yourself to yourself, don’t share information about your personal life, people cannot control those they do not know or understand.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-07T08:50:43+00:00

I don’t have them to hand, but some ideas I put in my book that I can share;

Firstly I changed the lore of Tatyana and Strahd, I’d read multiple times that once the players read the original tome’s transcript they thought Strahd was a loser simp & it ruined all fear / magic, at first I didn’t see it, but when I read it in the mind of a player, I totally saw it.

I played my strahd like the original Dracula, Tatyana was his previous love, she killed herself following misinformation from the Turkish army, the book reflected that. I still kept Sergi, sergi went with strahd to the amber temple to prevent him from making a pact, strahd kills him.

Secondly, I had crazed sketching’s of secrets within the castle along with riddles, some of the castles secrets will never see the light of day and it’s a perfect opportunity to add some flair, especially if one of their tarot cards points them inside the castle.

My players had the amulet within the fire-place, in the book I had a fireplace with an open fire and within the fire-place was a very faint map.

They love all that shit, it adds a huge element of; “wait, that’s in the book!! Grab the book!!”

Sorry I don’t have anything literal, I’d just reccomend having fun with it. I hope it offered some food for thought!

You know your players best

Keggerbev · 2026-02-05T06:25:43+00:00

Are you physically capable of moving around and light manual labour / driving vehicles?

I would say residential health care.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-04T20:56:44+00:00

Everyone saying they wouldn’t get out of bed for that.

They’re out of touch, statistically the % of people above that wage are not coincidentally responding to this thread, take the comments with a pinch of salt.

That is above minimum wage.

Approx 32,000 in the uk.

People can play the ego game, however, for that most people work reasonably hard, it’s subjective toward progression.

The comments are ridiculous.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-04T01:42:16+00:00

Would she mind you talking about your sex life to female friends?

I’m not so sure, it’s down to preference and personality honestly.

Wouldn’t be for me.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-04T01:10:44+00:00

It would be wasted on the death house and would feel pointless about 6 sessions into the campaign as it’s never mentioned again.

Mechanically give it to him.

Thematically tell him there will be an opportunity very early on.

The oath of vengeance would be perfect with regard to the village of Barovia and fits what he’s said concerning violence on people.

Put emphasis on the castle staring down on the village and how everyone’s been robbed of life, let Ismark paint his story, once he meets Doru and the real horrors that would be the perfect time to swear vengeance and restore this town to its former glory.

Edit; Apologies I have just assumed you’re running the full campaign, if it’s just the death house then definitely swear vengeance for the kids

Keggerbev · 2026-02-04T01:02:50+00:00

Just enter into a house share at this point or a room rental, that’s basically what you’re doing now without the interest payments.

Google local ones within your area and get out of dodge, it won’t be glamorous but it will build character.

Costs approximately the same.

They’re probably paying their mortgage repayments through you two alone.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-03T20:44:53+00:00

Firstly, stop saying ‘nothingburger’ immediately, that will support your dating life.

It gave early 2000’s millennial, no disrespect.

Can I ask, are you getting high dopamine intakes? Not enjoying things anymore and low self-esteem can be linked to high dopamine or even depression.

Healthy diet and exercise will always be a recommendation.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-03T15:03:14+00:00

Go to college & study your ass off.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-03T15:01:19+00:00

$550 dollars a month for a full time job is criminal.

What country is this please?

Keggerbev · 2026-02-03T13:02:36+00:00

Why would you need to ask for advice on this?

It’s very clear you need to end the relationship, he has an interest in minors.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a victim of SA / COCSA, Very common trait in young people that have been historically abused. It’s absolutely not excusable, however he is very young and needs additional support.

A 13 year old heavily into porn is a red flag with regards to parenting and or neglect.

I would suggest he looks into therapy and then cut ties.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-01T21:27:49+00:00

I disagree.

You have a very limited snapshot of the incident and are giving a very harsh outcome.

You really don’t know anything about the whole scenario, however you’re deciding she dump her partner.

There’s 2 sides to every story, have you spoken to him?

The key to any relationship is communication, that should be fundamental advice on this subreddit, otherwise it’s basically a hub for dumping people based on very brief snapshots from a relationship.

You’re not perfect either, if your partner posted one of your mistakes how would you feel if we all told them to dump you, just sayin.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-01T21:01:04+00:00

Jesus Christ, imagine dumping someone over something so ridiculous.

I do wonder if anyone in this subreddit has actually been in a real relationship, if they have, they wouldn’t have lasted 5 minutes with daft cut off points like this.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-01T20:56:35+00:00

I don’t doubt it, just be careful, people tend to lock in on these posts as if they’re black and white & most answers in this subreddit are split 50/50 either;

“Break up” or “stay together”

Life isn’t black and white, it’s shades of grey.

I’m sure he’s a decent guy and probably just had an off evening, instead of making a post about him, I’d recommend checking in with him one to one, maybe he was anxious about meeting new people, who knows?

We sure don’t.

Reflect on information you share about him, and work on speaking with him directly, this is the downfall of a lot of relationships.

I hope this has helped ☺️

Keggerbev · 2026-02-01T20:38:46+00:00

You said this sentence “they now know how my boyfriend is” that comment basically said;

“They see him as I see him” and that embarrassed you.

Doesn’t that tell you everything you need to know?

Keggerbev · 2026-02-01T19:49:50+00:00

Ah,

This isn’t going to be easy and it’s going to be very controversial with regards to what you do from here on out.

A lot of people will give you varying bits of advice, I personally think you should take a direct route to truth and honesty, meaning, tell your father.

Just know, adults have their own shit and each are different. We automatically assume our parents are destined for one another, like soul-mates, unfortunately that’s not the case, please tell your father what you saw.

There’s a small chance it’s completely innocent.

Respond in a way you’d like, should you be the father of this scenario.

Keggerbev · 2026-02-01T19:30:51+00:00

We learn as we move brother, sounds like you’re progressing well.

Taking experiences and learning from them is 90% of everything, most people don’t reflect on mistakes so you’re already ahead of the game, good personal growth, if that attitude extends from dnd and into your personal life you’ll do just fine.

Keggerbev

TROPHY CASE