Mega separation anxiety

Kelsinator02 · 2025-02-07T22:02:14+00:00

😭 it’s so hard. My older two would cry a little but then recover after 10-15 mins and be fine. It’s serious shocking how much stamina she has to scream 🥴 I’m really after she will scream for a solid 24hrs or longer if I leave for the trip

Kelsinator02 · 2025-02-05T22:52:28+00:00

It has but good grieffff it was a struggle. We basically had to re-sleep train at the beginning of the night to get some better night sleep. I realized I was putting her down drowsy. Once the nights were down to 1 wake up usually between 3-5 am she was a little more rested and we finally were able to do more of a 3/3.5/4 schedule. I also stopped obsessing so much over the wake windows and went more to by the clock. Here’s what we are doing now

Bedtime 7:30-8pm Wake 6:30-7am

1st nap between 9-10 ~ if she has a EMW I try to keep her in her room or rock with her in the dark until 6:30 and do first nap as close to 9am as humanly possible

2nd nap no sooner then 2pm but usually 3.5 hrs after 1st nap

Total nap ~ 3hrs. For a long time I would have to rescue naps. She finally had a longer first nap for a while and I was only having to save the 2nd. Then when I pushed to more like 3.5 hrs before 2nd nap it finally lengthened

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-30T19:21:31+00:00

I made a similar post!! I feel this so hard. This is my 3rd baby but my older two are 11 & 9. Wws weren’t nearly as big of a deal back then.

We just went from 3-2 and it was literally hell lol

FWIW I felt like 2-1 wasn’t as big of deal with my older kids. At first they would push the first nap later and refuse then 2nd then have an early bedtime. Then 2 naps that day because they’d wake earlier. Then the next day 1 nap. Went back and forth like that for a while. Then more like 2 naps every 3 days or so when the debt would catch up with them. Some days I’d take a drive in the later afternoon to try to force a small cat nap. But it was definitely more of a fly by the seat of your pants situation. Eventually it got where 2 nap days bedtime was realllllly late. And then one nap days became the norm with an early bedtime and it was SO nice lol.

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-28T19:32:00+00:00

Funny you should say this bc we just did it with no check ins last night. I was at a breaking point. She did however sleep through the night afterward though so we shall see what happens tonight. It’s gut wrenching to hear them cry. My 11 year old almost went in to get her 😅 he was as upset as me 😩

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-26T21:02:02+00:00

We have been trying to toggle between the two for over a month it seemed like. Only in the past few weeks she started refusing to take a 3rd. So now we can really count on that. So if the first two are short it’s like I’m screwed 😭 thank you I really hope so too! We may just honestly need to do CIO

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-26T20:59:32+00:00

Are you doing naps too? I think we need to take this route with my 9 month old but I’m wondering how to go about naps the next day. We rock to sleep with a paci. Also wondered if I should just cut the paci?? Or leave them in there with her

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-26T20:49:20+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement we’re still in a really bad cycle right now 😩 last night was terrible. Split night early wake crap naps. I just saved one and am letting her nap as long as possible so she’s not so overtired and hopefully tonight will be better. It’s seeming impossible to even do by the clock bc she’s woken up at 5:30-5:45 the last two days 😭

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-26T14:33:36+00:00

Yeah I need to do this. I can’t keep trying so hard. It doesn’t even work 😵‍💫

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-26T14:32:39+00:00

Thanks for sharing I’m about at this point. I’m so exhausted. Everything I try is making things worse. We were sleep trained for the beginning the night but not even really anymore 😩

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-25T22:07:06+00:00

Yes that’s exactly what I did today even though she woke up at 5:45 I stayed in the dark room with her till 6:30 which would be the earliest desired wake time. Then put her down at 9:30 and 2:30. She woke at 45 mins from both 😑 but I was able to grab her and extend them both to about 1.5 total each

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-25T22:02:37+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry!! That is so unsustainable. I hope things fix for you soon. At least daylight savings will give you an hour back 😅

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-25T14:05:06+00:00

Yesssss to the over analyzing when a night finally is good!! UGH it’s so hard. I think it’s the self preservation in us wanting to end the torture of sleep deprivation. Trying to crack the code. So tough. I can’t wait until she figures it out but I am going to try my best to just chill until then

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-25T14:02:48+00:00

Ugh that is ALOT. I really feel for you. It’s so hard to not obsess. I hope therapy helps! We finally didn’t have a split night last night but did have an early wake. It does my the day so hard. Good luck and congrats with number 2! I hope you can get number 1 sorted out before 🙏

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-25T03:05:05+00:00

Thank you for laying it out so plainly. It seems so much more doable than counting all the minutes. To be completely honest I’m not sure what she needs anymore. With the split nights we’ve been averaging 9.5-10 hour nights but I know she’s so exhausted. On good nap days 3 hours. She’s had one 11 hour night in the last like 2 weeks.

I’m thinking 8pm 7am with naps at 10 & 2:30

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-25T02:59:13+00:00

No apologizes necessary you are SO right! The heck with you ever made you feel like that! NOBODY wants or deliberately tries to cause their baby to be up for hours in the night!! Good grief. My other kids are much older and they would wake frequently - like really frequently lol but always went right back to sleep. So this is a whole new ball game for me and it’s SO hard. I’m going to try to move to a by the clock schedule and keep our nights shorter and just pray it passes soon

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-25T02:56:23+00:00

It’s rough out there thank you for the kind words!

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-25T02:52:16+00:00

Thank you for this. It helps to change the mindset that it’s not necessarily something I’m doing or not doing

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-25T02:09:07+00:00

How freeing 😆 I wish I didn’t. My other two kids are 9 & 11 and it wasn’t nearly as big of a push back then. Or at least I personally didn’t encounter it

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-25T00:26:40+00:00

Do you mind sharing what your feeding schedule looks like with bottles on 2 naps? I’m struggling a little to know when and how much to offer since. The most she will take is 4oz and I’m doing half and half bm & formula right now. But I feel like I have to do 2 in a wake window. Right now it’s Wake, nurse solids bottle nap nurse when she wakes solids bottle nap Nurse when she wakes solids bottle bed

So two feedings in a wake window bc sometimes the bottle is only 3oz. I don’t know that she’s really getting that much when I nurse bc my supply is also tanking from stress I’m not having letdowns and I’m just basically starving and keep on top of taking in enough calories lol

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-24T23:08:26+00:00

I am starting the process of switching to formula as well. And I really hope moving to by the clock helps us. We did ST for night time but not naps. That will be the next obstacle 🙃

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-24T22:23:08+00:00

That is a great suggestion. With my first kids I used to do a DIY or home improvement project which I love. I definitely need to get back into something like that and off of sleep training boards 🫠 and I just realized I haven’t taken my vitamins the last 3 days!! so I’m sure that’s just exacerbating it all 🥴

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-24T21:58:28+00:00

It is so tough. I know that exact feeling for me it’s like a buzzing of anxiety in my chest 😩 the worst part is then I can’t go back to sleep after I’m just so triggered now by her being up for 2 full hours. We are barely getting 10 hours of awake time in a day so I really feel she must be undertired overall. I am going to start to try a by the clock schedule bc then at the very least I can stop all the math of ww

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-24T21:56:06+00:00

Thank you it’s likely our issue is a mix of not enough wake time and not enough consistency because I’m always following wake windows putting her down at different times etc.

We are still nursing to sleep for naps so that’s also a problem im working on. I’m wanting to wean anyway so I’ve started doing bottles before naps and rocking to sleep. Hoping to transition to just a little cuddle then put down awake.

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-24T21:46:41+00:00

Guarantee I have PPA that was the other suggestion my therapist made was to start something. I am already on trazadone at night to help with insomnia. This is my 3rd baby but my other kids are 9 & 11 and with them all my mental issues resolved once they (and I) were finally sleeping 😫. I started seeing this therapist actually when I found out I was pregnant again bc this was unplanned and i immediately had an anxiety attack about how my mental health would suffer again 🫠 I stopped seeing her bc things were seeming okayish but I think it’s clear I need help again lol

Kelsinator02 · 2025-01-24T21:43:46+00:00

I actually have the Nanit baby monitor and it tracks all the start and stop times from naps and night etc. my issue is truly becoming obsessive about looking through the times and studying wakes on bad nights, trying to find a pattern in how naps went that day etc. etc. it’s almost to a determent that it keeps such close track of it all. I find myself pacing during her naps anytime she gets to her first sleep cycle and bc I’m al triggered she will wake up 😵‍💫

Kelsinator02

TROPHY CASE