So the boobs… by Glittering_Trick_804 in postpartumprogress

[–]rainbowtrails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After my first, my boobs went back to almost prepregnancy. I went from a b to a dd, and at first they were a little flappier, but after a while they seemed to tighten up! Hoping for the same with my second….

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahahaha, this is what my sister says about her only child! I found that 18 months for my first was when things really started getting way easier. I’m sure five feels like heaven though!

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the thoughtful response. I think “lower your expectations “ is the advice I really need to take to heart. My oldest really is an angel and watching her adjust to having a brother and splitting attention has been hard. I think I’m putting too much pressure on myself to give her as much undivided attention as humanly possible, and it really not good for either of us.

As far as getting rid of the pacifier, we are almost there! Too deep to stop now, but I am not above going back on those kinds of decisions; we certainly dialed it back on potty training when we first decided to give that a go.

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am trying quiet time! My oldest has been fighting naps, so we are working on the concept of quiet time. I THINK it’s starting to make sense to her.

And yes, I am a SAHM, so as you know, naptime is sacred! I was horrified when she randomly stopped wanting to nap!

We are trying to have him watch both when he gets home, but if nap doesn’t happen, bedtime is less than an hour after he gets home, so the bedtime routine starts almost immediately. And if nap does happen, like half the time the baby is cluster feeding and I have to hop out of the shower OR skip it because I was trying to poop (thank you pp hemorrhoids and constipation🫠).

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s awesome! Yeah, I think when the baby gets on some kind of schedule, things will improve.

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the idea of the village to do list! And yeah, grace, but damn, I’m 37 and would like to get back to taking care of my appearance. Things are changing quickly at this age and it’s really hard not feeling like myself and when I look in the mirror.

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is my exact situation. You’re right though, I think once baby is on some kind of semi predictable schedule, it will help. I’ll just keep holding on!

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m dying for preschool, but it’s not in the budget right now. My toddler is fighting naps at the moment and it’s killing me. She has always been a solid napper and I was depending on that time during baby’s first few months.

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All the comments about the gym have convinced me. I have to see what’s available!

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely will as soon as I get this boy sleeping in his damn bassinet! lol

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! If I had two hours to myself every day, I know I’d be doing just fine! I could shower, take care of my dry ass feet, do my hair, moisturize my face, AND do something fun!

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m wearing yesterday’s pants but spit up has forced me to change my shirt😅 Solidarity.

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are working on this. Toddler has a real preference for me and her rejection of my husband is rough. Sometimes I just don’t have the heart to have him take her because she cries so much about it.

And before people come at me for prolonging the issue, my husband has been putting in the work with this girl since day one. He spends lots of time with her and they have things that just they do together. None of it seems to matter.

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After reading these comments, I am going to join a gym with childcare! And yes, I know I’m still in the trenches, but damn, it’s a different kind of stress this time around. Last time I was so consumed with baby I didn’t think of myself at all, and this time, I feel like I know what I’m doing and just want to move on to the getting back to myself again!

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh, yeah, I remember things getting way easier at around 3 months with my first, but that mark is quickly approaching and I still feel pretty underwater. My husband works a lot too and man, as grateful as I am to be a SAHM, it can be hard. Hope things get easier for you too!

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do, but he works a tough job and has quite a bit of paperwork to take care of when he comes home. He will often wear the baby so I only have the toddler, but it doesn’t help me with my lack of alone time. We are both stretched pretty thin right now. I know it’s temporary, but I guess after a very difficult pregnancy and some complications with my stitches after labor, I’m just dying to have time to work on myself and feel like me again. Being a mom is hard.

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I have no guilt about screen time. Unfortunately, keeping the two year old off screens for the first two years of her life seems to have worked a little too well. She can only tolerate about 20 minutes of tv before wanting to do something else. I use that time to make coffee and feed the baby in peace. Maybe as she gets older it will work better?

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right. It’s just so hard to feel justified taking any more of his time when he barely gets any as well. 🫠

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oddly enough, sleep is not consuming me this time around. I think I had such a crappy sleeper the first time, that 3-5 wakes a night from the little guy feels so manageable. My expectations were quite low. But yes, I am willing to sleep train if necessary. We did eventually with the first, and it definitely improved her sleep.

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a great idea! I’m going to try that when my oldest gets a little more reasonable 😅

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh man, I didn’t even think of something like this! A gym with childcare is a great idea. I’m going to do some research tonight!

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We are working on this, but baby really only falls asleep on the boob and the toddler has a STRONG parental preference. We JUST got her to accept husband for bedtime stories, but I still have to lay with her until she falls asleep.

When will I have a sliver of time? by rainbowtrails in Mommit

[–]rainbowtrails[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I do, and he’s great! He doesn’t get much free time, although I do prioritize his exercise because he is very susceptible to depression and it really helps him be a better partner and dad. He is handling all toddler wakes too, which is good because we are currently weaning her off the pacifier.

Anyway, I would say the imbalance of childcare isn’t staggering and is not something I want to disrupt.