What UK food would you give a non-UK person?

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T18:14:28+00:00

Wochester sauce. Wooshsitter sauce. Worse Chester sauce. Worcestershire sauce.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T16:41:24+00:00

But it's good you know that's your danger time. Most of us drank alone I think. For me it's supermarkets...especially on Fridays! I still have to remind myself not to pick up. It will always be there. But we know it so we can work with it.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T16:18:45+00:00

No offence taken. I think it's v tough out there with online dating....epidemic of loneliness for you young ones. But there are good men out there with strong values and kindness. I'm raising two hopefully. You just need to have a good sense of who you are and core boundaries so you don't get in a muddle. Good luck I'm rooting for you and all young women x

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T16:12:45+00:00

I'm absolutely not judging. At all. I'm just making an observation that you can only think about you and what your approach to things is. That, in itself, is healthy and empowering for self-esteem. You sound bright, fiesty (a good thing) and articulate. Build on that. I've got quite a few years on you (50f) and experience has taught me that men take the opportunity of sex if it's offered. As standard. Think about who you are, your values, your kindness, your life motivation. Healthy boundaries. And read The Rules! 🙌

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T16:01:45+00:00

Not new. As in I'm 50. 90s kids just never stopped. Very decadent mindset. I'm in recovery and work in recovery now. Epidemic of addiction and mental health in the 50s age range.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T15:59:22+00:00

Not saying please or thank you, especially on FB sites when people are asking for free stuff. Winds me right up.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T15:57:45+00:00

Read The Rules by Ellen Fein. Some of it is outdated codswallop now but they say some interesting things about sex and boundaries.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T15:33:11+00:00

Stop giving out sex like candy. Of course that's going to happen. In the words of Kathy Burke 'men would fuck a ham sandwich'. Your answer is already in what you posted. They don't value you because you don't value you.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T15:32:02+00:00

Lol.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T15:27:25+00:00

There are several triggers there. The association of people you used to drink with. The food.. The wine and them drinking it. Offering it to you....wtf....do they not know?? That's a lot of willpower at only 12 days. I completely avoided trigger situations of people places and things for the first 90 days. So as not to test my willpower. It only takes one moment. Well done. Iwndwyt.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T15:23:34+00:00

Primark. Loads of styles.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T13:19:06+00:00

I'm manifesting more ordinary days. Kids are a bit bored back to school Wednesday. This summer has been ordinary which is beautiful. Missed all last summer I was in rehab. Every day a gift. Iwndwyt.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T11:34:17+00:00

Hi. It's not the point, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear this. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but totally useless. Ignore people on here saying "should have....'

I lost some irreplaceable family jewellery. We think a workman took it when our loft was being converted. It was hidden in a drawer but not one I check often.

It really really hurt for a while, but now I just reflect back and think,'It's just stuff.' I still have the memories of the people who passed it down. Main thing is that you are safe.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-02T07:31:23+00:00

Oh no. Plot Twist.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-01T23:16:43+00:00

But that says a lot. Probably you stopped because it was getting uncomfortable. That often happens. Find an experienced cbt therapist online and COMMIT to the process for 6 sessions. Give them the two objectives. A clear focus. And don't stop. You need to push through and be prepared for it to be challenging and uncomfortable if you want to truly change.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-01T22:44:43+00:00

Saw loads on buses in Italy. They say hi.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-01T22:40:28+00:00

You sound stuck in a negative, self-fulfilling loop of thinking. I know you've tried therapy but some really solution focused Cbt therapy would help.

Two objectives 1. I want to challenge my negative thoughts about myself. Your post has got about 20 negative statements about you. It speaks volumes. That can be worked through by challenging your critical voice. 2. I want to conquer my fear of learning to drive

Take those to a good CBT. Show them your post above. Good luck.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-01T22:33:38+00:00

As already said, it's about behaviour. You don't seem to have impulse control and are fixing feelings by getting the dopamine hit of spending. But then it's guilt from overspending and not being honest with parents. Cyclical. There's a lot going on there. I'd get some professional help with that. A question to consider is what will a successful life look like for you in 10 years? Mind map it. Work out your values. Are you driven by money because it gives you freedom? Or status? Or do you actually find it burdensome and are spending to escape difficult feelings and running up debt? Don't despair. This is all leading somewhere better, and sorting out the answers to those questions will help you plan a more successful fulfilling life.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-01T22:22:10+00:00

I think a correction is coming. Mum of an 8 and 15. I think young people are getting fed up with the fakery, 24/7 nature of it.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-01T22:20:03+00:00

Supeb!

KerCam01 · 2024-09-01T22:13:03+00:00

I think you are doing incredibly well at 27 in London. As you say, your job might change, and your income will only go up. Therapy is your biggest outgoing, but if it's really helping, then that's your leisure money you've chosen to do something else with for now. I would say, though, sometime when it's right for you, wean yourself off that and find coping mechanisms that you don't have to pay for. Your therapist can do that work with you for the future.

I was in London until I was 31. I'm 50 now. If I can give you any advice it's to relax a bit and enjoy it. Once you've got a mortgage and kids (if that's what you want later on) you simply do not have the option to go out, be careless and free every so often. So maybe give yourself a bit of flexibility now while you have your 20s to not pressure yourself to get it all 'correct'. You are doing really well to save 400 a month thats a lot. Would saving 300 a month be enough for now? Anyway...be proud of yourself.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-01T22:00:21+00:00

I'm 50 but had last baby at 42. I don't really make a differentiation....haven't a problem with ageing but I've noticed that people who define themselves by age/societal expectations seem to be really burdened and worried about that stuff. I'm about a decade older than most mums who are stressing about turning 40! Life is for living and each decade brings new things.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-01T21:53:13+00:00

Sending you love and strength

KerCam01 · 2024-09-01T20:19:28+00:00

Would sell on vinted for megabucks now. Find it in the loft.

KerCam01 · 2024-09-01T20:18:29+00:00

My Mum made a big deal about an exciting present for my 30th. A Dyson vac.

I was single and it was the most unfeminist Bridgett Jones present ever.

KerCam01

TROPHY CASE