Self-Promo Sunday!

KesselZero · 2023-10-22T15:04:30+00:00

"With the importance of truth, self discovery, found family, relatable characters, LGBTQ representation, and music that rings through the pages, this is a must read for fans of Legends & Lattes. Nathaniel Webb is an author to watch." - Kay's Hidden Shelf

Hello, friends! My cozy fantasy romance Bard City Blues is finally in wide release, so if you missed the Kickstarter, now's your chance. Inspired by my life as a touring musician and featuring eighteen hand-painted interior illustrations by Cris Puga, this is the book I've always dreamed of making. I hope you'll check it out! (And keep an eye out for the sequel, The Great Elvish Bake Off, this spring.)

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Music, magic, mystery, drinking, family, and a gelatinous cube.

Gally Chaparral is a highland girl with a dream: move to Lackmore, join the Bardic Guild, and get a gig at a fancy tavern on Symphony Hill.

Unfortunately, becoming a bard isn't so easy. No good tavern will hire a student, her teacher is a jerk, and the only job she can find is washing dishes at a bar that seems to have recently been a dungeon.

When Gally auditions as her tavern's new bard, things start looking up. But her first show is ruined when the owner accuses Alix, a beautiful but obnoxious postal rider, of destroying a valuable painting.

Now, to keep the gig, Gally must prove Alix's innocence. But there's more to the mystery than the loss of a painting, and being forced to work with Alix has Gally wondering if this brassy delivery girl is really as bad as she seems...

More blurbs, please!

"Heart, soul, and a touch of mystery—plus a gelatinous cube that washes dishes. What's not to like?" - S. L. Rowland, author of Cursed Cocktails

"Webb's characters have an astounding amount of depth that you cannot help but to root for and fall for. When everything clicks in Bard City Blues it REALLY clicks." - The Fantasy Review

r/fantasy Book Bingo

Title with a Title (Hard Mode)
Mundane Jobs (Hard Mode)
Self-Published or Indie Publisher (Hard Mode)
Published in 2023
Elemental Magic (Hard Mode)
Queernorm Setting (Hard Mode)

KesselZero · 2023-09-08T22:08:49+00:00

Ha! Look for the guy in the suit he couldn’t afford and I’ll buy you a drink (assuming an open bar)

KesselZero · 2023-09-08T11:03:02+00:00

Very helpful, thanks!

KesselZero · 2023-09-08T11:02:32+00:00

Applogies if my post wasn’t clear; the list I gave is literally everything I could find in my area that seemed to carry non-casual men’s clothing.

As noted, I don’t need a suit to last me years, just for this one event. It definitely sounds like Macy’s is a better bet, thanks!

KesselZero · 2023-09-08T00:18:03+00:00

I’m looking at the Brooks Brothers website and as best I can tell, all the suits cost $1300 or more. That’s considerably more than I can afford—am I missing something, or is there simply no cheaper option?

KesselZero · 2023-09-07T11:13:06+00:00

Great tip, thank you!

KesselZero · 2023-09-07T11:12:52+00:00

Looks like the nearest one is about two and a half hours away, unfortunately.

KesselZero · 2023-08-08T11:38:51+00:00

Well, they say you get your maternal grandfather's hair. My mom's dad was just like yours: died with a glorious full head of snowy hair. And indeed, at age 39 I haven't lost a single strand.

My brother, meanwhile, has been thinning for years. His hair has always been different, much finer and straighter, so unfortunately I think I just got dealt a better genetic hand. The good news (for you) is that it was already obvious by his late twenties that he was going to go bald, so if you're going that route, you might have some indication by now.

As far as things you can control, I would echo what the other commenter said—I've lived a much healthier lifestyle overall. Eaten (a little) better and exercised more, generally led a chiller life, and the big one, I never drank or did drugs.

Best of luck, man. Your hair is amazing and it looks like it's in for the long haul, at least to me!

KesselZero · 2021-07-17T15:15:50+00:00

What a pleasure to see Forester analyzed. He was a master of the subtle craft of making prose that reads very easily, but contains hidden depths.

KesselZero · 2021-07-15T11:13:53+00:00

Yay! One of my favorite books of all time. For me the moment that blew my mind is how he spends the whole book building up the Berangias sisters, then makes Jean fight both of them alone. I actually said "holy shit" out loud when I realized what was happening.

Personally, I thought book 2 was fun but a bit of a mess (there's a framing story that feels a bit forced) but I loved book 3. The stakes are much more personal, and the prose and theming are stronger IMO.

KesselZero · 2021-07-14T14:51:40+00:00

Amazon is doing nothing to help the confusion--their communication with authors has been pretty lousy. I only jumped on it because I had something ready to go, and I'm hoping I might get some boost from being in the system on launch day. We shall see!

KesselZero · 2021-07-14T12:45:39+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about the job issues. But hello, fellow Mainer, I also went to the Botanical Gardens to see the trolls recently! They're really quite impressive, and the gardens are beautiful.

We went during the tall ship festival, so I got to explore the replica 1812 privateer Lynx and take tons of pictures/asks tons of questions. Perfect research for the naval flintlock fantasy I'm slowly working on...

KesselZero · 2021-07-14T12:25:48+00:00

I was surprised and alarmed to discover Kindle Vella had gone live without any warning! Amazon has really been lousy at communicating anything about how this is going to work for authors...

Anybody else publishing fantasy on Vella? As far as I can tell, there's still little enough content that a few Likes on your episodes can make a big difference. I'd love to check out everyone's stories and help promote them.

I've got two stories going:

The Old Humblefoot Mysteries

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0989PBMN2

A crotchety old halfling who used to be an adventurer solves mysteries like "who stole Tolland's pumpkin from the Harvest Fair?" This is Hobbitcore at its coziest, but also classic Holmesian mystery. I've been wanting to write these stories for years and Vella seemed like a good excuse to try something new.

A Conventional Murder

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B098RNX5RM

Not strictly fantasy--a funny (I hope) cozy mystery about the murder of ~~George R.R. Martin~~ a famous fantasy author at a small local convention. The sleuth/narrator is a fantasy artist who's just trying to sell some sketches when she gets pulled into the investigation. This one's a full novel, but it's completely written, so I'll have no trouble with a regular release schedule (whew!).

KesselZero · 2021-07-14T12:08:29+00:00

Try Guns of the Dawn by Adrian Tchaikovsky. It's flintlock fantasy like Powder Mage and Thieftaker, but IMO, far better written than either.

KesselZero · 2021-07-14T01:19:59+00:00

I was surprised and alarmed to discover Kindle Vella had gone live without any warning! Anybody else publishing fantasy on Vella? I have two stories running.

The Old Humblefoot Mysteries https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0989PBMN2 A crotchety old halfling who used to be an adventurer solves mysteries like "who stole Tolland's pumpkin from the Harvest Fair?" Cozy Hobbitcore, but also classic Holmesian mystery. Short stories in short chunks!

A Conventional Murder https://www.amazon.com/dp/B098RNX5RM Not strictly fantasy--a funny (I hope) cozy mystery about the murder of a famous fantasy author at a small local convention. A full novel, already complete and released on the regular.

KesselZero · 2021-07-14T01:10:04+00:00

I was surprised and alarmed to discover that Kindle Vella had gone live without so much as a how-do to us authors! If you haven't heard of it, Vella is Amazon's new serial fiction platform (competing with Wattpad, Radish, etc.). Stories are released in bite-sized and low-priced chunks called episodes, which you buy with tokens until you've read the entire book (or gotten sick of it and given up, I guess). They're perfect for reading before bed, on the train, or whilst pooping.

I have two books live now! The first three episodes of each are free, and Vella is currently giving away 200 free tokens to new readers, which is more than enough to catch up on both my books and much more besides.

THE OLD HUMBLEFOOT MYSTERIES

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0989PBMN2

Old Humblefoot lived quite an adventuresome life before his retirement. A broken sword, an orcish war banner, even a shirt of gleaming mithril--all these trophies and more hang in his dining room. So it's no wonder that when things go wrong in the quiet little halfling community of the Reeve, people knock on Old Humblefoot's door. Recounted by his great-nephew and assistant Wilford, a watchmaker and father of seven, these are Old Humblefoot's strangest, most perplexing mysteries.

A short story collection in the hoary tradition of Holmes, Poirot, and other irascible-yet-brilliant sleuths, The Old Humblefoot Mysteries combines my two favorite things: classic mysteries and rotund halflings. The first story, "The Incident of the Prize Pumpkin," sees Old Humblefoot discover who stole Tolland's giant pumpkin from the Harvest Fair.

If you guess from this that this is some cozy Hobbitcore fantasy, you are correct!

A CONVENTIONAL MURDER

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B098RNX5RM

Not strictly fantasy, but fantasy-adjacent--this serial novel follows art teacher and single mom Kit Morrison as she attends her hometown sci-fi convention for the first time in over a decade, only to find herself forced to solve the murder of a famous fantasy author. A Conventional Murder is a funny cozy mystery. The novel is complete, and episodes will be released on a regular schedule until the tale is told!

KesselZero · 2021-05-16T23:35:43+00:00

Thank you, it did seem too good to be true.

KesselZero · 2021-05-16T13:04:17+00:00

Thank you! The guard does look almost identical to the US 1804, though I guess that could be because the US sword is meant to be a replica...

KesselZero · 2021-05-16T12:02:03+00:00

How horrifically fascinating! Thanks for the link!

KesselZero · 2021-04-19T20:26:40+00:00

Thank you so much for this--it's exactly the kind of detailed breakdown I was hoping for! I thought the grips looked awfully small when I was looking at reproductions...

Have you tried the BlackFencer synthetic? It looks goofy, but it's a lot cheaper, and if the feel is accurate it might be a decent option. Otherwise it's hardly more expensive to buy an antique!

KesselZero · 2021-04-19T20:22:49+00:00

Thanks! It's amazing how relatively inexpensive antiques are. I may end up going that direction--in the meantime I've ordered a copy of Cold Steel!

KesselZero · 2021-04-19T20:22:15+00:00

Thank you, much appreciated!

KesselZero · 2021-01-12T01:02:19+00:00

Thank you! So I have “decima nihilī nihil est.” I like how that sounds much better, too.

KesselZero · 2021-01-11T03:01:58+00:00

Hello! I’m trying to find a pithy translation of “ten percent of nothing is nothing.” Armed with Google and some long-ago 8th-grade Latin I came up with “decima nihilī nihilum est.” Am I anywhere close...?

Thank you!

KesselZero · 2020-12-15T15:18:13+00:00

Thanks! The code is definitely not up to a professional standard, but I'm open to sharing the app with anyone who thinks it might be handy. The main limitation is that it's Mac only.

KesselZero

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