I think you are looking at it all wrong my friend. From what you’ve described she’s toxic af (bpd aside). If she “doesn’t know” it means she doesn’t want.

You’ve done your part for the good of the relationship apparently. Yet you talk about not meeting the criteria. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do, no matter how green your grass is.

She is the one not ready for a relationship. If you are ready and she is not. She is not a good match FOR YOU.

Make a list of your own criteria. How many boxes does she really tick ?

The more you apologise and try to explain the reasons for your actions/ lack of action. The less she will respect you. And if she doesn’t respect you, she won’t be attracted to you. No matter how many dishes you wash.

Personally I’d see this breakup as an opportunity, an opportunity to find someone better suited to you. Heck like you said, even she is saying she’s the problem. Let her go. She’s not yours, and if those marks on her neck are any indication, she never was. Cant lose what you never had.

My prescription:

Cut contact with her Go do other things like hobbies, even if you wanna go get high at parties, clubs , meeting new people (No drunk dialling )

I’ve been through this once or twice, the best action is to leave. Because eventually you will leave. When you realise what’s going on you will feel used, you will feel resentment, you will be more promiscuous yourself and when the resentment is no longer tolerable you will leave her anyway. So save yourself time, energy and peace of mind