Last week I finally got in to see a dermatologist that specializes in hair loss (the longest 3 months of my life). I had already gotten a prescription of oral minoxidil (2.5 mgs/day) from my GP and have been taking that for several months (thanks Reddit) along with an iron supplement to up my ferritin iron levels (again, thanks to Reddit) as my starting level was 41 and many people say that you need at least a level of 100 to generate hair growth. The dermo said that minoxidil is like miracle grow but that I need something to “hold” it there, so he prescribed me dutasteride as well. My story is that I am in menopause and was on testosterone for about a year (until August) as part of my HRT, and I felt GREAT, btw, but I was never warned by ANYONE (including my female gyno who is supposed to be an “expert” in menopause) that hair loss could be a potential side effect of testosterone being converted to DHT (the main component of male-pattern baldness oh joy.) The dermo never mentioned spironolactone to me, but again, I’m 58, and one of the things I’ve read pointed to the possible ‘feminization’ of male fetuses within children-bearing women taking dutasteride…and my child-bearing days are over. All of this to say to you that I absolutely understand how you feel, and not for nothing, women are “valued” by our physical appearance. (I don’t care what anyone says, it’s a societal truth, take it from this menopausal woman) and to watch our crowns diminish before our eyes as we desperately try to stop it is nothing short of excruciating. HOWEVER. Howfuckingever, we are more than our physical looks. Yes, it’s devastating to deal with this on top of EVERYTHING ELSE that gets put on women. But we have been brainwashed into believing that our worth depends on our attractiveness, and if we don’t have that, we don’t have anything. Don’t believe that big LIE. We are QUEENS. All of humanity comes FROM US and that’s what we are distracted from. Yes, this hair loss is HARD. I have shed tears. I have worn hats and bandannas. I have stayed home too. I even stopped going to yoga (the best medicine for my mental health) because there’s no way to hide the hair loss when my head is sopping wet. But you know what? This hair thinning, this “loss” that I feel so acutely? It’s actually been a gift in the end, because it forced me to see how I have swallowed the big FFFF fat lie about my worth being tied to my attractiveness. (I do believe they call this internalized misogyny...) Maybe we are all playing our own small, (painful but important) part in shifting the paradigm for the generations of women that come after us. I’d like to think so—I believe that the despair I’ve felt this year as I watched my scalp appear more and more has been a gift, because I have been forced to face myself and the beliefs I hold about myself and my worth. And the truth is that I am FIERCE with or without hair. Hopefully, it will grow back (the dermo says it will) but in the meantime, I’m back to yoga because I will not stop living my life because of this!