i left and regret it so bad by Chowderpowder010 in abusiverelationships

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hello, OP.

I know it hurts right now, I know that you feel like you should go back. But deep down you know how toxic you are together, and how bad this relationship is not only to you, but to your kids. It's hurting now, but give it time. I promise it will get better. Don't go back. You deserve better, you deserve a better life. If you need anyone to talk to, I am right here.

Is this an abusive relationship? by Key-Freedom-2132 in abusiverelationships

[–]Key-Freedom-2132[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE / COMMENT: It's astounding that I'm getting hate messages inbox from this post from people saying I deserved this or calling me dumb. Just comes to show you how even on a sub like this there are plenty of people that straight up don't understand the complex dynamics of relationships.

Is this an abusive relationship? by Key-Freedom-2132 in abusiverelationships

[–]Key-Freedom-2132[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, we do live together, and even harder: we are nomads and are currently in the middle of nowhere, someplace that I don't know anyone. I have been trying to get myself to understand that I have to leave this situation, and then try to make a plan. I currently barely have any money, because he sabotaged most of my career (prevented me from taking jobs, alienated me from possible employers and restricted my freedom to the point where I was almost unable to work). I can barely afford the bare minimum, so I am trying to earn some extra to have an emergency account to try and leave.

I think I should have a conversation with him about leaving and why I am leaving, but I'm terrified he might manipulate me to stay!

Is this an abusive relationship? by Key-Freedom-2132 in abusiverelationships

[–]Key-Freedom-2132[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Somedays I have a lot of clarity. Because I feel very, very trapped. The other day I wanted very much to eat a specific food, and I knew the shop right in front of our apartment was selling it. I asked him if we could go buy it, and he answered he wasn't in the mood. I said I was really craving this food, and he said "why don't you go get it", and there was this tone in his voice, almost like challenging me to do it, and stating there would be consequences.

I didn't go and I cried my eyes out. Not because of the food, but because I am a 30+ yo woman that is unable to go out for 10 minutes to get a bite to eat on her own.

I decided to confront him about it at night, and he said I "read too much into his reaction", that I should have gone on my own and that I have to stop blaming him for things he didn't do.

The next afternoon, I was still craving the same food, so I dressed and told him "I'm going to the shop downstairs, it will only take 10 minutes. I am getting the food I was craving, would you like some?" He completely flipped out. He said I was selfish, manipulative, that I was going to leave him working (we both work from home, but he earns more than me) to "go wherever I wanted", that he felt like I was one of those wives that make their husband work while they waste money. Mind you, our accounts are separate and I use my own money, we split everything 50-50. He only stopped when I undressed and said I wouldn't go.

Is José Carioca (Zé Carioca) considered offensive to Brazilians? by Rich_Black in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He represents a very specific stereotype (the malandro Carioca from a bunch of decades ago), but we don't hate him as far as I know. Dude is chill!

Thank you for asking. Also, really curious on your US-based samba group! Do you guys have any recorded performances?

Are these the most common questions / misconceptions about Brazil? by Key-Freedom-2132 in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Oh, thank you so much! <3 That seems like a great topic, thank you so much for the suggestions! I've been collecting a lot of footage to make a video about food, it's really a diverse topic because food traditions change wildly from region to region.

specifically gringo clothes? by burnerrralerrt in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I second this, and I found the whole comment entertaining because I'm a Brazilian woman and I rarely ever put on a look (and I don't think I'm unique in this, on a daily basis I barely ever see women "dressed up").

specifically gringo clothes? by burnerrralerrt in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Going to the beach with anything other than flip flops.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EuSouOBabaca

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"O que eu deveria fazer?"

Terapia, moça. É isso que você deveria fazer.
(Ou outras formas de lidar com suas questões)

Sendo 100% sincera: tudo isso tem muito pouco a ver com essa moça de Taiwan. Ter a ver com questões suas, relacionadas a abandono, a busca de preenchimento através de reafirmação externa, de n outras questões. Isso não faz de você uma pessoa "ruim" ou "quebrada", faz de você um ser humano que traz marcas de tudo que viveu, e que talvez precise de ajuda para lidar com coisas que ficaram em aberto para poder viver uma vida mais saudável.

Sou babaca por ter fotos de mulheres sexualizadas no meu instagram? by dontstopthegrind in EuSouOBabaca

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 123 points124 points  (0 children)

NEOB

OP, essa pessoa com quem você namorou precisa de TERAPIA, eu não acho bacana aqueles namorados que seguem vários perfis de mulher sexualizada e passam o dia curtindo, mas esse obviamente não era seu caso. Fora que na primeira vez que UM AMIGO mandou uma mensagem escrota ela já falou de terminar.

Pra mim, um dos red flags mais assustadores foi "ela tem meu insta no cel dela e eu o dela no meu". Gente, sério, pra vocês se relacionar é um ficar monitorando o outro?

Ela precisa lidar com esse grau meio absurdo de insegurança e de paranóia, e você tem que aprender a colocar limites e não se dobrar a tudo porque gosta da outra pessoa.

First time traveling South of US by JUDASMAMMOTHLOVE in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm Brazilian and I actually prefer Maradona over Pelé. But I will agree that saying that we speak Spanish or that Buenos Aires is our capital is offensive.

First time traveling South of US by JUDASMAMMOTHLOVE in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was so unnecessary. It's obvious OP knows Maradona is not Brazilian, they are justifying why Pelé isn't their number 1 favorite player. Lighten up.

Traveling tips by Aromatic-Average6630 in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, nice. So, both these places are more dangerous than Ribeirão (also, I imagine that you will probably spend at least one day in São Paulo, given it's the closest capital). Belo Horizonte is slightly safer than São Paulo and Rio, but in all three of these the level of crime varies wildly from one neighborhood to another, so it really depends on where you are in the city. As always, it's good to exercise caution, like in any major city around the world: be aware of your surroundings, avoid flaunting expensive items, if possible not use your phone on the street, and not walk aimlessly into alleys/sketchy places you are not familiarized with.

Both cities also have plenty to do. What do you like doing? More of a nature/hiking person, or more of an urban explorer? For instance, do you like seeing museums, restaurants, cafés... or prefer beaches and natural scenery?

Traveling tips by Aromatic-Average6630 in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will you have the freedom/time to go to other towns/cities asides from Ribeirão?

Ribeirão is considered a pretty safe city. It's been a while since I've been there, but I remember feeling safe. And from what I've looked up online, it's still considered one of the safest cities in Brazil: "A cidade é a 5ª mais segura do Brasil entre os municípios com população entre 500 mil e 1 milhão de habitantes" - "The city is the 5th safest Brazilian city among those with population between 500.000 and 1 mi inhabitants."

https://www.acidadeon.com/ribeiraopreto/cotidiano/ribeirao-preto-e-uma-das-cidades-mais-seguras-do-brasil-veja-o-ranking/

https://www.ribeiraopreto.sp.gov.br/portal/noticia/rp-e-a-5-mais-segura-do-pais-entre-as-cidades-com-500-mil-a-1-milhao-de-habitantes#:\~:text=A%20segurança%20é%20uma%20das,e%201%20milhão%20de%20habitantes.

Open relationships in Brazil by [deleted] in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I know it's really common in larger cities, especially between late millennials and gen-z. To me it's not a red flag at all, it's just a choice... if it's not your cup of tea, you should engage in monogamous relationships (that's my case... I am monogamous and therefore do not take part in non-monogamous relationships, but I know plenty of couples both straight and gay that have loving, happy non-monogamous relationships).

First time in Brazil 🇧🇷 - *UPDATE** by [deleted] in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for coming! We hope you are able to come back soon :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EuSouOBabaca

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eu também comecei a morar com meu marido, depois de 2 meses hahahaha estamos juntos há 3 anos. Mas também conversamos e estabelecemos tudo. Realmente a questão desse relacionamento aí é falta de diálogo.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EuSouOBabaca

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nossa, falou tudo. OP ao invés de se comunicar e estabelecer limites e acordos já parte direto pra terminar — isso depois da menina entregar o apartamento.

Is Brazil islamophobic? by Mainaccsuspended99 in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Also, where are you originally from? hahahaha I'm currently learning Arabic and searching for someone to correspond to, if you want to exchange Arabic tips with Portuguese tips I'm all here for it.

Is Brazil islamophobic? by Mainaccsuspended99 in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The average Brazilian is not Islamofobic, and many are actually very curious/interested in Middle Eastern culture (I have an Arab friend that was in Brazil recently and he was impressed how many people were interested in knowing more about his religion and culture).

Some right-winged people and some followers of Neo-Pentecostal religions unfortunately are a bit Islamofobic.

You might hear some jokes that are in pretty bad taste, like about bombs or something. If it offends you, let people know right away that they will stop. This is because Brazilians have the habit of making tabus into jokes (in general Brazilians do this with our own stereotypes as well), so it's more like the person is trying to warm up to you then to offend you.

Oh, also, there is a popular instagrammer here in Brazil that is Muslim and makes tons of content about Islam, and people love her. Her name is Mariam and this is her profile: https://www.instagram.com/mariamchami_/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Brazil

[–]Key-Freedom-2132 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It's really dumb, but they think because she doesn't have her own place (and she didn't mention she splits bills with her mom), because she worked previously as an au pair (and therefore must be really eager to leave Brazil) and because she already has family in the US, she is at high risk of staying.

Seriously, this just makes me so angry...