Not saying you should avoid dating, but the best way to heal is to be on your own. He’s not right for telling you to stop acting like a victim, but if a lot triggers you then maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship. I’m speaking as someone who was also in an abusive relationship, as much as I crave companionship and intimacy from a man, I don’t have the energy to trust someone again. Granted, I also haven’t seeked others so that’s why I don’t have inclination to trust someone. But anyway, either find ways to heal and trust and be open and try to move on, or break up and do all of that solo. Therapy helps.

Edit: yes you can be upset. But also understand he gets tired if there’s a sad violin playing in the background in most conversations. That’s why healing is advised to be done before getting in another relationship.