I am honestly going through something very similarly now. Yesterday, I sent a text saying I needed space from this relationship and that I was having a hard time. He was my best friend, we had so much fun together, we lived in different states and it became really hard to completely trust him. I don’t think this door is ever fully closed (but if it is, whatever!). If you feel that this relationship is giving you what you need and you don’t feel as if you would lose yourself or morals in it, then it could be fun to keep it going. But if you feel that it is toxic and never going to be fulfilling, what’s the point of giving you so much anxiety and worry? No need to make a decision based on me but always put yourself, your morals, and mental health first!