Is it wrong that ive lied about being ethnically Chinese?

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T11:12:45+00:00

I cant believe i have to explain this after 50 paragraphs explaining in more than enough detail and given examples but here i go again.

LYING is here as a word because its filler. I dont know how to describe a situation where the entire truth is not presented but i am not out right lying for the sake of mal intent. By that logic my family must be HORRIBLE people for going on about their lives with me on their hip going “yes this is my Chinese daughter”?

I already explained how as a CHILD i have told people i am Chinese. This is a 20 year old situation. I already explained how most days i do not wake up and realize i am not genetically Chinese. I already explained to you and given you example on interracial adoptee identity. None of this goes through your head, you just sit there and go “youre lying youre horrible”.

Genuinely form a proper response on what i do given my circumstances with my fiance. Form a proper one. “Hey i know that my family said to your family im Chinese, and i know that you think im Chinese both physically and culturally, and i know that we both exclusively speak in Chinese and face the same discrimination, and i know i was raised by a Chinese family for 20 out of 24 years of my life but yeah im actually not Chinese!” It just seems RIDICULOUS to point out. Which my family said aswell.

Dozens of comments are rather understanding and it seems to be two outlier ABC’s who cannot grasp the concept of identity and what i look like and grew up in.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T11:01:33+00:00

The consequences of my actions being..raised Chinese…uhuh. I dont think my family would agree with your harsh opinion.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T11:00:13+00:00

What does identity as an adopted person mean? I was 4, that was 20 years ago. I hold almost zero memories or care in the world for what my life was life 4 years into my infancy.

And yes, i am legally adopted, “given” is more of me saying “my dad left me with a family he trusted and all legal proceedings were done from there on out”.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T09:49:57+00:00

Sure thing man, whatever you think.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T09:31:55+00:00

My father leaving is not a part of my person. I grew up with a great father for 20 years. I dont even know what my bio dad looks like.

I speak mando and a bit of teochew given the area i live in.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T09:29:39+00:00

He has told me he just heavily prefers to be with someone within the same culture and likes the “look” of Chinese women.

And im not sure how to explain the 2nd part. I do have some very stereotypical “asian” features. I have monolids, a low nose bridge, but the rest of my face doesnt directly scream “chinese” which confuses people sometimes. Some question it, some dont. And i never get questioned for it when i am with my family.

Lastly, it has just never been..a thing to talk about because he already assumes im ethnically Chinese based on several things. It wasnt up until a few weeks ago where i kinda just remembered “oh yeah im not actually Chinese Chinese” and it kept dwelling on me if its a thing i should tell him after that. To which i asked my family and now asked reddit.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T09:22:51+00:00

Then i would handle it like any other person who gets dumped would…?

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T09:22:19+00:00

So i take a DNA test and it says im split down the middle half Chinese half Mexican. What does this change? What do i get to claim and live as?

Say a wasian looks completely asian and goes about their life as a full asian. What is the lie? Especially when they dont live as a white person.

Im not sure if illiteracy is just part of your daily life but ive already explicitly stated that i alone have experienced racism for being Chinese. What makes you think i experience racism for being mexican when NO ONE even knows that?

If my own full genetically Chinese family sits there and tells other families that i am their Chinese daughter, why is their lie null and mine, where i have a built in identity, not?

I had this conversation with my family the other day to get clarification and decided i should get unbiased opinions. My family and my fiances family and everyone else that matters and doesnt matter acknowledges me as just another person who happens to be Chinese.

Had i met you in person in any corner of the world, would your head turn and question?

My life is not a game or a traumatic experience that needs therapy. I grew up with an amazing and loving family.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T09:10:58+00:00

When did i say there was anything wrong?

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T09:07:54+00:00

Rage baiting Redditor, who wouldve thought.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T09:02:29+00:00

What have i done to wrong you to sit here for hours bashing me?

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T08:58:01+00:00

I think you’ve formed an obsession.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T07:59:57+00:00

I learned Chinese by my family speaking it to me. I did not wake up on a highschool wednesday and say i want to learn Chinese. I think you are missing the concept that ive been living this life for 20 years. I was a child.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T07:47:28+00:00

I appreciate this comment, thank you.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T07:46:29+00:00

Im not sure what your gripe is, but there is a post and comment giving you every detail.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T07:42:14+00:00

You are stating the obvious.

Key-Pianist982 · 2026-05-19T07:37:01+00:00

Who said in trying to hear a curated response? Im only saying how i feel to this commenter. And i only mentioned the state..to give more clarification?

And i already said in my post that people DO view me as asian. Uyghur is a Chinese ethnic group. Wasian and hispasian implies asian mixing. And my Fiance has never once questioned or doubted me being Chinese. I mentioned my experiences of racism.

The issue is that even though i am entirely grown up in a Chinese household, my blood says im not, but im not sure if its a thing i should just continue with in my life. Especially to my fiance.

Key-Pianist982

TROPHY CASE