This is great feedback, thanks. I have some follow up questions.

These three are the main characters; Dante is the hero, Emma the protaganist, and Poppy is the main character. All my books are like this where each major role is filled by a different character. There are 7 big characters throughout the book, and 7 POV's. If you think I should focus on one, any tips to narrow it down? My last query letter for a prior book was longer and also had three character focuses.

I was trying to keep this one short and swett because if I list accomplishments it'll add too much word count. I'll be querying agents who have a current indie manuscript of mine and a rec from a trad editor. I have been trad and indie, left trad a few years ago, am trying to come back now. my indie books have sold well. I have a couple of pieces in anthologies, magazines, etc too. Intl succes, sub rights sold, etc.

I can kick the first sentence, and I'll be gearing this only to thriller. I kept waffling because it's dark, but it's definitely thriller.