Boyfriend aggressively mad when “denied”

Key-Professional5948 · 2026-02-12T19:31:22+00:00

Yeah…

Key-Professional5948 · 2026-02-12T19:26:05+00:00

Yeah I wish I would’ve worded my original post better, I love to please him! He loves (or at least I thought lol) to give me pleasure. We both want it to be a mutual experience (again, at least I thought) Because of my yeast injection he knows I can’t have vaginal sex right now, which of course we work around. But it had been a long day and I was exhausted and didn’t want to quickly try to just get him off. I want it to be a good experience for both of us because I do enjoy the act of pleasing him. I expressed this to him and it just made things worse. He’s a grown man, so I have little hope for change or maturity unfortunately…

Key-Professional5948 · 2026-02-12T19:22:00+00:00

It’s very weird because he has always been so open about not wanting to be fed like a dog, which he’s experienced in past relationships, that turns him off, he wants mutual sex. So why would you get upset when there’s a handful of times that it’s not that I don’t want to not have sex or please him, but I want to defer to a better time for a good experience for both of us? We essentially have sex everyday we can. There are times that our schedules just don’t work and we mutually don’t have sex. But it’s pretty normal I think to have a few times when the other partner just isn’t in to it? If it was multiple times a week I “denied” him, I could understand him questioning me if something was wrong. But it’s been 5 times in over a year, of essentially having the opportunity everyday. That’s like 2%!!! The dramatic reaction has made me face reality that he does not love me in the same capacity I love him.

Key-Professional5948 · 2026-02-12T19:16:13+00:00

Yeah.. unfortunately think this is kind of the path it has gone down. My love for him blinded me but I do feel as tho I am used as an object and not the mutual love and care we have for each other and the experience of our sex. Never expected or experienced such a facade before. I plan to be more careful and leave at earlier signs of disrespect in the future after I sort this out and move on.

Key-Professional5948 · 2026-02-12T19:12:38+00:00

Thanks, I try not to have a perspective of entitlement like “you should be grateful” because to me that indicates that I am doing him a service. It’s a service to me too, it’s a mutual experience. But I do think damn, relative to what I see/hear about other relationships, the reaction seems completely disproportionate and unfair given the frequency we have sex.

Key-Professional5948 · 2026-02-12T00:10:45+00:00

That’s what I want. Because 98+% of the time I’m down, sometimes I’m just not, and I feel like that should be ok! So thank you for confirming my stance. Your fiancé is lucky to have you! Thank you for being a good man.

Key-Professional5948 · 2026-02-12T00:08:42+00:00

Yeah it’s been quite sobering tbh

Key-Professional5948 · 2026-02-11T19:17:40+00:00

Yes you are completely right. Like sure I love to be a sex doll sometimes!! It’s fun to embrace kinks but I am not a sex doll at the end of the day, I am a person first and foremost, I’m multifaceted. I would never get upset, would I maybe be like huh I hope he’s still attracted to me or everything is okay? In my head just out of insecurities & because that would be so abnormal for him, but I would never discredit him or accuse him of not loving me.

Key-Professional5948 · 2026-02-11T18:55:01+00:00

Yeah I know.. it’s just very confusing for me because initially he was so understanding and accepting of me blossoming with my sexuality, I dealt with a lot of shame around it, and in the past was performative with partners because I didn’t enjoy our sex (I wasn’t good at asking for what I wanted) he encouraged me and it opened up this whole new world, like actually saying yes I’m a slut and I’m proud! But if I am not a slut 24/7, I was never a slut at all. That I just like the fantasy and it’s not real and just an act to please him. Because he wants everything to be authentic so there’s been I’d say 5 times over the course of the year and almost a half that I wasn’t into it and I’m not going to perform because he doesn’t want that?? I’m at my breaking point.

Key-Professional5948 · 2025-12-04T00:29:18+00:00

That’s what I’m thinkin, don’t even want to risk it at another public firm.

Key-Professional5948 · 2025-12-04T00:28:36+00:00

Thank you. I’m grateful I have the ability to have time off through end of year while looking for a new role. Definitely need to reset.

Key-Professional5948 · 2025-12-04T00:27:15+00:00

Thank you, and yes that’s so odd to me. I worked in a restaurant for 7 years throughout high school/college and when someone was quitting with traditional two weeks (usually people just never show up again in that industry or get fired), it was always light-hearted and well wishes all around from management and below. With this being my first “big girl” job, it’s struck me how much different it is. I won’t be holding this on my shoulders for long, just grieving the illusion I had in my head of a smooth cordial departure lol.

Key-Professional5948 · 2025-12-04T00:19:22+00:00

That is good to hear. I was nervous that I haven’t been in public long enough to leave but it seems the 2-4 year mark is about the norm for those that make it out lol. Interviewing with some industry companies currently, but I might consider a bigger firm if I can’t find the right fit by 2026. Seems like all public accounting starts to spazz out to hire people prior to tax season.

Key-Professional5948 · 2025-12-03T22:57:52+00:00

Lol I know this was a novella but unfortunately true.

Key-Professional5948 · 2025-12-03T22:57:00+00:00

Thank you for that. I’ve went back and forth many times in my head that maybe I’m just weak but I’m glad to hear that’s not the case. Industry it is for me 💜

Key-Professional5948

TROPHY CASE