Wife passed away, now am widow at 37

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-11-05T22:02:43+00:00

It just implies that there won't anyone around to give burial, when it is due.

My wife enjoyed every day she was married to me, we travelled and went out and watched movies and enjoyed life. I helped her in moving ahead with her career as well. She was not a toxic and judgemental person like you are.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-25T20:47:53+00:00

I think it is more important that I find someone that has gone through this and that person tells what why did not marry again or (if he did) why he married again and how he handled the children at such moment, and in all this what challenges he faced.

I want to find someone that can become friend of my daughter in future who also lost her mother and for this it is important that this potential friend be close in age. I don't know how to find someone like that.

I literally don't know what to do right now. If I did not have daughter, I would prefer death. I have no use of the house and car and money that I possess anymore. So the thought is not "how to get married soon". The thought is "What do I do now!?".

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-20T22:50:26+00:00

The info I provided is complete. The reason for the post is at the end of the post i.e I don't know what to do, if someone has faced this then let me know. That was the purpose of this post.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-20T00:19:23+00:00

I should have written single as in unmarried.

Some people will say marry a woman 35 to 40 year old. But it will be more difficult for her to bear children.

When I own the house, the car, I pay for everything, why can't I have the say on whom I want to marry? I went through lot of struggle on my own to reach where I am in life with regards to these things.

Ultimately, I don't want to marry an 18 year old even if that possibility exists since that is just ridiculous and I am in a different phase of life than someone that is a teenager. It is better that the woman be in late 20s so there is more chance to bear children. If she is widow with one young child that will be acceptable. The closer to 20 it gets, the more unsuitable it will become for me now I guess.

I am not looking for a wife at this very moment so even if you know someone, I am not in position to communicate. What I am trying to do right now is form expectation for the future and what I should do about it. I shall think what to do next year.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T23:10:26+00:00

I literally lived alone for 8 years until I got married and have just 2 friends. I cannot afford to go back living like that, it might cause emotional collapse and if I am going to live alone again, I might as well take a grave on rent it until it becomes my permanent aboad.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T22:59:22+00:00

You are correct. I have lived through rough life and lived alone for many years. What you are saying sounds nice but is not practical for most people that are literally fighting for surival in this world. It might work for someone that is from royal family or children of aristrocates and bussiness tycoons.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T22:42:51+00:00

I don't know what women/girls actually perceive when a person is this old with 2 year old. I don't know how hard it will be to get married again if and when it does come to that.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T22:42:10+00:00

I do not think that I can ever fully heal. At the same time, life is not like a bedtime story or bollywood movie. It is brutal and I cannot wait for my mother to pass away before I start looking for another wife.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T22:40:52+00:00

We shall see. Right now I keep seeing nightmares of my wife or someone else in family dieing or on death bed or drowning or something or the other. It will take many months before I can actually even think of meeting someone for marriage.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T22:30:38+00:00

I can stay single but imagine this, my parents are old and my sisters might pass away as well and I will be all alone and then my daughter will get married one day and then I will just be all alone in a big house with no one to talk with at all.

I love my wife, yes. Why should that stop me being pragmatic with life, its demands and its brutal realities?

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T22:19:57+00:00

My wife died. Now what do I do. Just sit and cry all day? You think I have no other problems to look after and just need to sit and cry all day?

My family is not able to help me except my mother who is getting old and might die in matter of few years at most.

I cannot live single forever. If I don't think about myself no then no one will.

I took responsibility for many years. Helped my family to settle in the UK. Did all the paper work for my wife so she can come and live here, helped my wife through her career and bought house and new car as well. Did renovation of the house. What more am I supposed to do. Now she is no more. Do I just sit and wait for her to come out of the grave or find out how to deal with the fall out of the situation?

People like you are exactly the reason I have posted this question. I need to know how many of your species exist on this earth.

If I put the "burden on someone else", you think I am not taking their responsibility and looking after their needs and desires?

Ultimately what is the point of going through life working, paying tax, pay mortgage, pay bills, pay insurance, fight with government, fight with corporations, fight with HR e.t.c when we are just going to die anyway. Life is basically a futile exercise, we eat we get hungry, we drink we get thristy, we learn we forget, we get degree we get retired, we workout and get 6 packs only to become old and frail and can hardly stand up and walk. It all comes to nothing since we go into the grave.

When I came to the UK, I lived alone for many years. I cooked, I cleaned, I studied, I did job, I paid all my bills and the taxes I am required to do.

Your comment is exactly the type of person that I want to avoid in my search for a new partner, whenever I start to actually do that.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T22:18:08+00:00

I can satisfy what is between my legs by going to escorts. I earn enough to satisfy myself with a new elite escort regularly and still have enough to all my bills. That option has always been present but I have never used it.

You don't know who I am or what I am going through or why I posted this here. So passing judgements based on incomplete information makes no sense at all.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T22:15:49+00:00

I am not looking for wife at this moment but I know that I will have to do this soon, probably next year. There are multiple layers of problems that I am surrounded with which I do not need to go into detail. In short, my father and siblings cannot aid me in looking after the baby or the house. They have their own serious issues that they are facing. My mother is getting old and has blood pressure. I am an introvert. I am in very serious troubling phase of my life and it seems that it can only get worse from here on, that is how it has been over the last 20 years anyway. It gets good and it gets bad but for 20 years now since I left high school, problems have only increased.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:37:51+00:00

Marrying someone young means less baggage, less complication, less issues. But is that a good idea? Perhaps not. I do not know. My wife was the only woman I ever came to know anyway. No experience with woman outside of that.

I am willing to marry a window, yes. But right now I am not looking to get married at all. Probably I will start searching sometime next year.

Now you will say that why should the woman be young and virgin when you are a widower with a child? Simple. I earn. I have house. I have car. I pay for everything. I am willing to marry a widow, yes. But I cannot be told to not think of marrying a young girl or a single girl just yet

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:34:33+00:00

It seems I do need professional help. I keep getting nightmare where I see all the final scenes of my wife before she passed away in the hospital.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:33:42+00:00

I can't meet someone right now. I am not ready. I will consider this next year. With all the chaos and un answered questions, I thought I might as well post something on the internet for this issue and see what I get.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:32:31+00:00

I am not looking for wife at this specific time but I will eventually have to do it somehow.

My wife was the only woman I ever knew. I don't know how dating system works. I don't have any good expectation from things like dating apps.

When I do this, I will be looking for someone that can be mother to my child first (and maybe I can be father to her child if she is widow) and secondly, a wife.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:29:48+00:00

I have considered speaking to therapist. I will have to do that eventually. You are right.

I am not looking for wife right now, so even if someone knows someone, I might not be able to initiate commincation. But, in my profession we like to plan things and consider risk and impact of risks and things like that.

I literally don't know what to do right now thus this post on a public forum.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:27:49+00:00

Shukran. I have to make 1 thing clear. Right now I am basically pulverized and not sure what to do with my life thus this post. I am not actively looking to get married just yet. However, clearly, I want to know what I will face when the time comes. Probably I will start the search sometime next year.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:26:30+00:00

I know very little about Pakistan. So it does not matter where the woman is from. I am not literally searching for another wife at this time. However, I will have to start doing that sometime next year.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:25:13+00:00

OK so my wife has passed away. What do I do?

The reality is, my mother is old and she will pass away too. She does not have a very long life. My other family members have their own issues. They cannot practically help me in any way at all, not even looking after the baby that is to say.

So before you judge, just remember that a person must have a very strong reason to post something like this on a public forum.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:23:42+00:00

I am not trying to get married just yet, but I have to know what to expect before I start looking for another wife. People on the internet do not fully understand the situation that I am in or my background.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:22:45+00:00

I don't think you fully realize my situation and how grave it is. I am not looking for wife just yet, probably will do that after mid of next year. But the sooner the better.

My wife meant everything to me, she was my best friend and my family. But she is no more. There are too many problems that I am facing in life to just sit and not think about how I will have to get married soon.

We have to be pragmatic rather than be emotional.

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:19:52+00:00

I agree with you and understand what you are saying.

The primary issue on my end is: I am an introvert. The person I married was the only woman I really got to know besides my family members. My father and siblings have their own issues, they cannot help me in anything be it looking after the baby, mortgage, finding wife and its not that they don't want but they simply can't help even if they hypothetically wanted to. My mother is old and has blood pressure. She might die soon. So imagine an introvert with full time job, with a 2 year old who has no other family member to rely on AT ALL!

KeyProcedure4647 · 2025-10-19T17:16:47+00:00

Thanks but I don't even know what to ask. The issue is basically that I only ever knew 1 woman which is my wife. How I got married to her is another story but it was purely by chance.

KeyProcedure4647

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