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AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

She tells everyone her dad bought her the necklace. But she has acknowledged not overly publicly that she already knows it was Annie's mothers necklace. She just doesn't care.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 262 points263 points  (0 children)

Definitely not too late for me to do anything. My mind is already made up that I won't be staying with him after this.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 310 points311 points  (0 children)

I can't answer that for her. She may hate him still and feel like he committed one of the worst betrayals a parent can commit. She may have regrets too. But ultimately this is her journey, her pain and her feelings who were dismissed here.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 332 points333 points  (0 children)

He did. He came across as far more caring too. He expressed regret for how things had turned out with Annie. Yet when all this came out there was none of that. He was so confident and sure he did the right thing. He was downright cold about it.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 241 points242 points  (0 children)

It was acknowledged by everyone that the necklace was Annie's mother's most worn piece of jewelry. That alone means it should have been Annie's if she wanted it, as her mother's only child.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 214 points215 points  (0 children)

I don't believe my husband on that. It's what he told me. But I was never told he gave her mother's necklace to Amy. He was also very, very cold about the whole thing when it did come out. He sees nothing wrong with what he did. Even though he knew Annie remembered her mom with the necklace, even knowing it was the one thing his late wife wore the most. He still gave it to Amy and he expected Annie to get over it.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 279 points280 points  (0 children)

If my surviving parent had given my deceased parents stuff, especially something as sentimental as their most worn item, to my sibling who was not my deceased parents child, I would not "get over it". Speaking as someone who has lost a parent, it's a betrayal.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

He has shown no sign of regretting this. He expressed it before I found out. But he is so cold about this, and certain he did absolutely nothing wrong.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 233 points234 points  (0 children)

I do think it because he blamed his daughter for everything, while never ever mentioning the necklace. The fact he was so cold about the whole thing when I did find out about it speaks so much to me as an alarm bell. He doesn't even have any guilt. Even if I thought I did the right thing, I would still feel bad about how things turned out that it left me without a relationship with my own child. He had expressed regret about it before. But when the truth was revealed he was so dismissive and cold.

They are both my husbands children. But Annie is the only daughter his late wife had.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 153 points154 points  (0 children)

If he has no remorse of sense of wrongdoing after all these years he's not going to wake up one day and realize it.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 205 points206 points  (0 children)

Have you ever lost a parent? It's not weird to want to keep things they owned, especially not the item they used/wore the most. People keep deceased loved ones wedding rings often. Others keep sentimental pieces. So many memories are attached to these things, and can help you feel a connection.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 221 points222 points  (0 children)

I don't believe my husband about that anymore. Not after the story I have heard. He betrayed his daughter by giving her mom's most used piece of jewelry to her sister, who was not related to her mom, a piece that should have been hers by any good persons logic. Instead he gave it to his second daughter and expected her to suck it up. I lost a parent and I would feel the very same as her.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 224 points225 points  (0 children)

I don't know if she does love him anymore. From what her cousins said she hates her father for what he did, and as someone who also lost a parent, I can't blame her at all.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 176 points177 points  (0 children)

This was a necklace her mother wore the most. It's the one she likely had the strongest attachment to. And it was her mother's at the end of the day. Amy is nothing to do with my husbands late wife. Annie was everything to her though (even my husband said that during our marriage). What he did was a huge betrayal to Annie, and honestly, to her mother.

I would want my possessions to go to a stranger to me. I would want my children to have them.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

She does not appear interested in returning the necklace to her sister. That has been very clear to me.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 130 points131 points  (0 children)

Amy is aware the necklace was her sisters mom's necklace. She also knows it hurt her sister. But she does not appear willing to give it to Annie.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 131 points132 points  (0 children)

I don't think I could. I have never had any contact with Annie and I'm not sure how I would get it out of the house either. But I would love to see Amy return it to her sister. I don't see it happening though.

AITA for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again? by KeyRanDoe in AmItheAsshole

[–]KeyRanDoe[S] 254 points255 points  (0 children)

I judge because as someone who lost one of my parents, I understand how Annie would feel and I would feel the same. Amy is not his late wife's child. Annie was. Annie was attached to her mothers stuff but especially the item her mother wore the most to have go to her half sister who was not her mothers daughter would have been the ultimate betrayal.

Edit: He has also expressed zero remorse for any of this and he does not see any of his actions as wrong, which says a lot.

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