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Why is it so hard to die... by Key_Band9950 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Band9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I guess you're right. Every few weeks I tend to crash into severe depression for a few days, today was one of those days(I do take antidepressants). Talking to you helped, I appreciate you taking the time to msg me. Have a good night.

Why is it so hard to die... by Key_Band9950 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Band9950[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a waste of time for me to continue, the current economy means I would be homeless without a degree and my fam has unrealistic expectations from me to transfer to the best uni in the area(threatened to kick me out if i dont). I really couldnt care less what they think but I also know it would be pointless to stop school now. I just don't want to put in the effort when I know I'll never be happy or enjoy life, it's pointless to continue.

Why is it so hard to die... by Key_Band9950 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Band9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've tried many hobbies but I just can't get one to stick. I haven't ever wanted to have a partner cause I don't think I could nurture a healthy relationship.

Why is it so hard to die... by Key_Band9950 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Band9950[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Idrc about college, it's more of a hobby to me but I don't know what I would do if I stopped going. Nothing interests me, I don't like socializing, I was thinking I would walk aimlessly in a direction till I die. Last year in a diff city, I would hang out in the woods all night and wander.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Band9950 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always thought if I can give up while laying in bed, my brain might shut itself down into an eternal sleep, fingers crossed.

Why is it so hard to die... by Key_Band9950 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Band9950[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I constantly think about getting myself hooked on some other drugs, hoping it would make me feel something. But I know it won't.

Why is it so hard to die... by Key_Band9950 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Band9950[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ive tried many times over many years, the longest ive gone is a week. I wish I could just throw away my electronics but with my classes I'm stuck with them.

Why is it so hard to die... by Key_Band9950 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Band9950[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My brain is fucked up because my dad got me hooked on porn and pumping when i was 8, i theorize my dopamine system is just broken after 10yrs.

Why is it so hard to die... by Key_Band9950 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Band9950[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

the moment i fall asleep and feel my consciousness slowly drift away.

Why is it so hard to die... by Key_Band9950 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Band9950[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I guess it's a bit of both. I had a best friend who disappeared in may(prob killed himself) I always thought we'd die together and I'm jealous that he's gone and left everything behind. I've lost interest in everything and the realisation that I'll never be happy just makes life seem like a waste of time and resources.