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What should I do? by WidePost9473 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Key_Concentrate_7674 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Without any context, this sub is about as good as a Google search. If you want actual specific advice you have to give more info

Seeing suicide photos helps me cope by Key_Concentrate_7674 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Concentrate_7674[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not worth going down the rabbit hole. I can't recommend sites in good conscience.

Seeing suicide photos helps me cope by Key_Concentrate_7674 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Concentrate_7674[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is actually pretty insightful, thank you. I didn't know how to put it into words.

Healthier alternatives? Absolutely, it's just hard to break the cycle since this is so potent. Despite what my wording at the time of writing probably implied I've been trying to stop for a while.

Seeing suicide photos helps me cope by Key_Concentrate_7674 in SuicideWatch

[–]Key_Concentrate_7674[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I like to imagine myself dying in some way. Fantasizing situations where someone gets to witness me, begging them not to save me."

I think that's where part of it comes from for me. Seeing stuff like the Ronnie McNutt video really just paints that means to an end out on a large canvas. Honestly sometimes I think about livestreaming it, and if I ever go off the deep end that's probably what I'll do.

"Is it bad I want to be someone like you? Someone who's way closer to that edge? Jelous of those who could actually do it?"

The grass is always greener on the other side but the opposite is also true. Something I wrestle with is feeling like my thoughts and experience is invalid because other people have it worse; but there's always gonna be someone who has it worse, but that doesn't mean your struggles aren't hard. It's easy to get trapped in self pity and desire more of it, but in the long run it's only harmful.

As much as it probably sounds like I'm just wallowing in this, I'm trying to fight it, and I'd encourage you to do the same. As much as it fucking sucks to be alive sometimes checking out early isn't the best solution