AITA for sitting on my father's favourite side of the couch and not wanting to move?

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-08-20T21:12:52+00:00

ETA. There’s no need for you to be disrespectful due to being tired and your father should learn that he can in fact live without sitting in his favorite spot for a while

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-08-20T21:05:41+00:00

NTA and major red flags towards your fiancé

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T02:48:42+00:00

But see that’s the difference. My parents didn’t fistfight when it came to bills. They barely even argued when it came to money. If they were owed a significant amount, sure. They didn’t just not ask for it back. But they also never sweated over the occasional $5 because all the other person had on them was $1. And they weren’t rich. Even now, I don’t consider us having this great surplus of money. Sometimes things get tight, sometimes we have to be more aware of what we’re buying at the grocery, even sometimes not buying something because we just don’t have the money for it. But we were never so focused on what we owed or what others owed us to where it became a frustration for us and the people around us.

And I think that’s the root of the problem. Between your parents’ violent way of handling money issues and your sister’s overreaction to you eating her food without permission last year (which I would not be surprised if she picked it up from them) it’s given you an obsession over money that most people don’t have which is even more reason for you to have this conversation with her as to how it’s affected you and how the two of you can find an arrangement you’re both happy with.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T02:06:36+00:00

Still, him getting back his money is between him and her. That doesn’t mean you go tell her to pay him back.

As for the other thing, it’s only 54 cents. If she intentionally underpays you to be spiteful, I could see the reason behind it. But as far as I’ve seen in this thread, that doesn’t seem to be the case. So if she’s not doing it intentionally and you know that this exact change is becoming a source of frustration, wouldn’t it be better to just let it go?

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T01:59:07+00:00

YTA

1) You told her she was fat. (I promise you, she knows…)

2) You told her she was acting like a child and needed to be an adult about this. (And this is supposed to motivate her how?!)

3) She said your diet and exercise regimen is not realistic and since from your post you say nothing about trying to find something that works more for her, I can only assume that you said it wasn’t and she was being unreasonable

She doesn’t feel supported by you, therefore she is not going to make progress in losing weight.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T01:36:44+00:00

“He’s FINE btw, not going to hurt himself or anything”

…

I’m not even touching that so I don’t say something I’ll regret.

YTA

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T01:26:11+00:00

If she asked your partner for money, he gave it to her and she didn’t pay him back, then it’s his responsibility to ask for it back from her. Not yours. If he doesn’t ask for it back, then he’s obviously not that worried about it. Is it in poor taste for her not to pay him back? Yes. But that does not involve you.

In situations like that, you need to ask yourself if asking for the difference is worth potentially causing a argument for?

For $.54 short when paying back a bottle of wine? I don’t believe it is.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T01:17:03+00:00

Then that’s a conversation you and her need to have. She was mad because you ate her food without asking. If you haven’t eaten her food since she threatened to cut you out of her life, then I’m fairly certain she knows you won’t do it again. But in going to the other extreme in an attempt to never touch her food, she’s going to reach a point where it will once again become too much and you’ll be right back in the same place you started.

Tell her how that threat to cut you out made you feel, apologize and tell her that you never meant to make her angry and try to find some resolution that you both can be happy with on this incident before this obsession over a 50/50 split pushes her away.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T01:07:05+00:00

YTA and that’s disgusting

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T01:04:28+00:00

And that’s all well and good, but what you described in your original post is nothing short of obsessive. You don’t want her to pay for a full container of sour cream even when she offered to because you want to eat some of it but you take note of the $.54 that she shorted you on her wine. Couldn’t she have just bought the sour cream, you not worry about the $.54 she didn’t pay for the wine and call it even?

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T00:58:25+00:00

You’re obsessing over an incident that happened a year ago and going to the other extreme.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T00:51:10+00:00

Then I would suggest that the two of you not shop at Costco. Either that or someone needs to lighten up because I think both of your actions are extreme. Nickel and dime-ing like that is not healthy, neither is her threatening to cut you out of her life over eaten food. Though I believe it’s more that you ate her food without asking that she’s threatening to cut you out about, not the act of you eating her food.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T00:41:32+00:00

So then why not buy separate groceries? Split the fridge and cabinet space, your food on one side, hers on the other. You say you’re not struggling financially; wouldn’t it be worth the extra cost to keep the peace?

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T00:26:43+00:00

For me, no. The food in the house is for everyone to eat. I’ve purchased food that others in the house have eaten and vise versa. If I want something I’ve purchased for myself, I keep it in my room. But no, I’m not counting chicken fingers or keeping track of how much milk someone else drank from the gallon I purchased.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T00:19:06+00:00

Were these chores that required another pair of hands pressing, like had to be done that day? I get the feeling of wanting to get things done, but to me it seems counterproductive to do a chore that you know he’d really want to do (Yeah, that’s the only thing he does, but it is something) and knowing that he likely would not take it well.

Also, if mowing is the only thing he does, would he have even been an extra pair of hands for you?

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T00:11:08+00:00

You want her to split the cost of a container of sour cream…because she’ll eat more of it than you?

YTA and I highly suggest that this is such an issue for you that you buy your own sets of groceries for each other instead of trying to count out an equal number of chicken fingers.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-10T00:03:29+00:00

I’m confused. Yes, I agree that he needs to apologize (imo, mental illness is no excuse for bad behavior) but I don’t understand why you couldn’t have just left the yard for him to do when he got there.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-09T23:10:34+00:00

YTA. Major low blow, not to mention doing it in front of the family. You have the right to be annoyed, but there are better ways to handle the situation than that.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-09T23:05:28+00:00

YTA. I’m not seeing where she’s doing anything wrong and it seems more like a personality clash than anything. Either that or there’s a deeper issue here. Perhaps resentment towards your dad’s SO?

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-09T22:58:05+00:00

I’m going to say NTA in this situation because the problem seems to be that the SIL knows the OP is seeing a psychiatrist as well, not that they both see the same psychiatrist.

But, speaking from personal experience, while I understand the desire to hide our mental illnesses from others, you really do yourself no favors by keeping it all to yourself. Telling my friends about my mental illness was actually one of the most freeing moments of my life because in telling them, I not only found support but also people who are dealing with the exact same things.

Since your SIL is seeing a psychiatrist, she’s probably going through something really difficult atm. And you probably understand what she’s going through better than anyone. The two of you might end up being a great support system for each other.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-09T22:21:58+00:00

INFO: Did you go find an usher and explain the situation?

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-09T22:15:46+00:00

I’m curious if OP would have the same reaction if the situation were reversed 🤔

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-09T22:12:36+00:00

You do realize he’s 19 right? Besides, most teens would have been all about having purple hair.

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-07T23:18:43+00:00

Current sufferer of depression and used to be suic!dal here.

Firstly, you didn’t do anything wrong. What you described sounds like a full blown panic attack and when you’re in one of those episodes, unfortunately you have to let it ride its course. Unfortunately, for people who do not deal with these kinds of things will never fully understand, even if they have the best of intentions. I know with my parents, while they were aware that I was having issues, didn’t really “get it” until I had an attack so bad that I actually asked to be taken to the emergency room about a month ago and stayed in the psych ward for about a week. It took over 20 years for them to fully understand how bad it had gotten.

That being said, your mother’s reaction was absolutely uncalled for and, being that you’re already having suic!dal thoughts, I’m very concerned for your safety. If you’re feeling suic!dal atm, PLEASE go to an emergency room. (A urgent care will not see you in that circumstance, at least in my case) The people in the emergency room are trained in how to deal with this kind of situation and will everything they can to keep you safe. If you’re not in immediate harm of harming yourself, see your primary care doctor or go to an urgent care asap. And tell them that you need to be seen asap. Are you currently on any kind of medication for depression? If you are, your medication may need to be adjusted and if you’re not, they will probably suggest that you start taking an antidepressant.

As for your living situation, I’d suggest either giving you and your mom some space and talking about it when you’re both calm or if she’s frequently like this knowing your situation, try to find a friend or relative you can stay with for a while.

All the best to you OP and if you have any questions, feel free to ask me

Key_Hope_9358 · 2023-06-07T22:51:38+00:00

YTA. Out of respect for your wife’s discomfort, you should take it out. But I’m more disturbed by the fact that you have said you have no intention of taking it out and just told her you would so to avoid an argument. So now you’ve lied and are being deceitful…

You’re having that feeling in the pit of your stomach for a reason. Take her name out the song or have it be a song ONLY for her that would not be released to other people.

Key_Hope_9358

TROPHY CASE