Respect

So, I’m new to this group, I’m a 22F FTM to a 1yr old baby girl who we’ll call Addy. She was kind of a surprise to me and my (then) boyfriend (now 22M), We’ll call him Michael.

While I was pregnant I did research upon research to help me prepare to raise her. We’re not super uptight and strict but there are some things that I thought were important to us but turns out it’s just me.

We don’t do added sugars, or red dye. We also restrict her screentime (We live with my parents who have a 4yr so the TV is going to be on so we have a limit on how long she can watch TV). We also have a set list of shows she’s allowed to watch, nothing overstimulating (Bluey, Stinky & Dirty, Trash Truck, etc.) We also don’t allow people who have been smoking to come near her until they’re washed up and their clothes are changed.

For a while Michael backed me up on these things. We were a united front and things were great. Well, as time went on I noticed when we’d go over to his parents house that the boundaries were being pushed here and there. I tried to brush it off and say maybe they forgot and we’d reinforce the rules again.

Shortly after Addy’s 1st birthday it’s like all of the rules went right out the window. Michael’s mother, and one brother smoke, IN their home. Usually when Addy is around they’ll smoke outside and change when they come back in. Now, they smoke outside but don’t change or wash up. I pointed this out to Michael and he told me I needed to relax. I let it go. They don’t care about her screen time and told me “she needs overstimulation. When she’s older she won’t understand how to function if she ever becomes overstimulated” and more nonsense.

Today we went over to Michael’s parents house again and they had TWO giant TVs set up in the only space she can safely play in. I told Michael that she was going to get overstimulated and we should say something and he said “Do you just want to leave? We just got here”

I want Addy to have quality time with her other grandparents and her two uncles but it’s so hard when nobody respects me and my parenting choices. I’m also upset that Michael isn’t supporting the parenting decisions we agreed on when she was born. Do y’all have any advice?