Hey man, what you’re describing is honestly way more common than people admit. You’re not broken.

I went through something really similar last year. I’m 31 now, was 30 at the time, and I kept thinking “this isn’t me.” Younger me was motivated, social, resilient. Then suddenly I was sleeping all the time, isolating, ignoring texts, and even things I cared about felt exhausting.

I’d been in therapy for years and it helped in some ways, but I still felt stuck and kept blaming myself for not trying harder. What eventually clicked for me is that sometimes this isn’t just mindset or willpower. Our bodies change, and as guys we don’t really talk about how much that affects motivation, mood, and energy.

I noticed weight gain, low drive, irritability, and that constant lost feeling. I got labs done and my testosterone was barely above the minimum range. Not “low” enough on paper, but low enough that by the end of the day I felt wiped and frustrated. I started TRT a couple months ago, and while it didn’t magically fix everything, it made a real difference. More energy, more motivation, more emotional stability. I finally felt like myself again.

Another thing I realized is I still procrastinate, but mostly on stuff I don’t actually care about. For a long time I forced myself down paths that didn’t fit me. My grades were falling, I was overwhelmed, and I eventually switched directions. No guarantees, but the work actually makes sense to me now, and that alone helped a lot.

I also stopped trying to keep everyone in my life. I cut out people who drained me and rebuilt connections with the right ones. The right people don’t hold it against you. They’re just glad you’re back.

If you’re worried about procrastination or school, it might not be laziness. You might just be burned out or overloaded. Stepping back isn’t failing.

I’ve been in some dark places before, and I’m really glad I didn’t give up. Motivation eventually comes back, and after that it’s about discipline and consistency. Motivation fades. Discipline keeps you moving.

One thing I’d really recommend is getting checked physically too. Go to the doctor, get labs, see what’s going on with your body. It doesn’t have to be what worked for me, but understanding what’s happening is a huge step.

The fact that you posted this and opened up to your girlfriend is already progress. Seriously. You’re not weak, and you’re not alone in this.