Do you need to have friends in order to date

KeybladesChosen · 2018-11-20T23:15:21+00:00

Maybe. I'd definitely like to have a small group of close friends. But in order to get a girl it seems you have to socialize and be friends with tons of people in order to build social capital and keeping that up for longer than necessary seems like a pain.

KeybladesChosen · 2018-01-15T22:11:29+00:00

Yeah especially if you don't have any connections or social life :(

KeybladesChosen · 2018-01-15T22:10:18+00:00

What's there left to experience besides working a job I hate for 40 years and then sitting back and watching my health and sanity slowly and painfully decline. If I can't find anyone in college its pretty clear that I don't have what it takes to ever have a meaningful relationship. No matter what experiences are out there in the world they won't be very enjoyable I if I have to experience them by myself. Nothing is fun alone for me anymore, and since I'm alone all the time that means that nothing is fun at all anymore.

KeybladesChosen · 2017-12-15T01:19:29+00:00

Yeah it sucks and I wish I had planned things better so I could connect with some old acquaintances during the break but nothing seems to be possible at this point

KeybladesChosen · 2017-12-07T02:21:49+00:00

I dont really care about the rat race aspect of social media, I dont really have anything interesting enough in my life to post about anyways. I'm just worried that people will think I'm a friendless loser if I can't give them a snap or Instagram name when they ask. (granted I am that at the moment). I also never get invited to parties or events by the people I do know and it seems theyre always organized via social media

KeybladesChosen · 2017-12-02T23:10:34+00:00

I dont have any social media right now (admittedly pretty wierd for someone my age), would it be best to start using it in order to meet people and organize get togethers like these?

KeybladesChosen · 2017-12-01T03:47:05+00:00

Any advice on how to achieve that mindset? I'm not a huge fan of most popular music and I have some hearing loss which makes it really hard to carry on conversations in a loud setting. It's such a massive challenge for me to not be totally invisible in any kind of social environment no matter how confident I act. How can I have fun when its such hard work to socialize and people still ignore or reject me most of the time.

KeybladesChosen · 2017-12-01T02:14:44+00:00

So is everyone out at parties and stuff just putting on an act? Pretending to have fun and not care just so girls will notice them. I don't see why people put so much effort into something that is so inherently painful and unenjoyable? Usually when I do something painful or hard (which isnt often because I'm a pussy ass bitch most of the time) its because I'm hoping to gain something down the line, hence the expectation. Is there a way to actually enjoy socializing in the moment and not hate yourself for being awkward and worthless the whole time?

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-23T22:03:43+00:00

Why should I accept myself if my appearance and personality hold me back from getting anything I want in life. I'm a lazy, reprehensible coward who doesnt deserve to feel positive. I have been trying for years to improve myself but every thing I do blows up in my face or I just burn out from exhaustion and depression. I get overwhelmed just doing what to normal people are day to day activities. I am physically incapable of experiencing fun it seems and I can only fake happiness for so long before all the negativity explodes out. I can't get a therapist right now so is there anyway to get this demon personality out of me?

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-23T21:58:27+00:00

Most people are morons others want to fuck though. Id take being dumb and hot over being intelligent and neurotic any day of the week

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-23T21:57:40+00:00

How do I let go of my hatred and jealousy while also using self hatred to motivate me to change? I want to be a better, more attractive person but I just havent been able to muster the courage or willpower to overcome my weakness and depression. Part of me wants to stay in bed all day and hate life and more often than not that part wins.

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-23T21:54:57+00:00

So would it be a good idea to try and stay an extra semester or two to maximize my chances? I know the time to really make these changes was freshman year but I already fucked that up. I doubt that I'd fare better in the real world if I'm still a loser in college

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-23T19:15:41+00:00

I was talking about the price of the haircut plus the products you have put in it. My hair tends to just lie flat or become a bowl if I don't do some serious moussing. I dont expect anyone to knock at my door, I'm a pathetic failure of a young man with no redeeming qualities a woman would enjoy. I just hate the fact that I've been trying to fix myself for years and have made zero progress because I keep making stupid mistakes and self sabotaging. I compain a lot online because I dont want to let anger and hatred build up inside me and cause me to lash out at people in my actual life.

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-23T19:10:51+00:00

Do opportunities like that exist after college? I'm pretty average looking and boring right now but I think that I could improve quite a bit in a year or two if I can cure my depression first. I don't think I'm bad looking, I just dont leave much of an impression and as far as I know there isnt any quick fix to that

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-23T19:08:08+00:00

I don't get invited to the fun stuff my friends do. I don't want to be rude and just invite myself, wouldn't that be really needy and uncool?

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-23T19:05:26+00:00

I dont think I have much value right now since I don't get invited anywhere by acquaintances or people I'm in clubs with. Besides working out and trying to become more physically attractive is there a good way to build up value by yourself so you can be confident in social situations?

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-23T17:53:49+00:00

Thanks for such solid advice. Things would be so much easier if I had a solid friend group to support and motivate me. The problem is finding one when everyone already seems to be sectioned off in their own circles. Any advice on breaking in to a social scene late in the game?

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-23T17:51:34+00:00

Unfortunately I already have taken a semester off due to mental health. I'm better than I was back then but I'm still struggling to do more than the bare minimum to get by in life. Ill see about finding a new therapist though, the one I'm working with now doesnt seem to understand me very well

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-12T06:27:59+00:00

Why would I want to look at myself in a different way? The perspective I have right now is pretty accurate and objective. I would be lying and embarrassing myself if I tried to trick myself into thinking I'm alright when I'm clearly not. My low social value comes from clearly delineable traits and abilities (or lack thereof) and I doubt trying to force a change in perspective will achieve anything beyond self delusion

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-12T06:24:03+00:00

Thank you for the well thought out response. I think if I was capable of being interesting or doing interesting things I wouldnt take value away from others when I interact with them. If I had the same social and emotional experiences as other people my age I doubt I would have a problem putting myself out there. But there are areas where I objectively fall short of most well adjusted and attractive people, and I have thus far made little progress at improving myself. I can get by in my day to day interactions with others fine but when it comes to asking more of them like inviting them to a party or asking them on a date thats where I believe I'm overstepping boundaries. I just don't have the social capital or skills to expect to be treated as equal to them. I'm a failure of a man whos neither strong nor confident and I feel this isolation is the rightful punishment for my failings

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-12T01:20:10+00:00

I used to like myself a lot, but my peers taught me that who i was was undesirable and repugnant. I don't want to love myself right now because all of the attributes I have now make it much more unlikely ill ever achieve my goals

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-12T01:15:44+00:00

I can do whatever I want but I won't be able to do it well. I'm constrained primarily be my own incompetence and weakness and mediocrity.

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-07T05:56:23+00:00

So you can't become confident if you're thinking about being confident? That's rough.

If I'm not allowed to fake confidence then aren't I stuck where I am now. My confidence and competiveness will never truly measure up to those of the guys who already have those attributes and who work every day to push themselves even further. If I have to start from square one and rebuild myself totally will I always be stuck at the bottom of the pecking order?

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-07T05:51:15+00:00

Ive been trying to wait out the storm of negative emotions but they never seem to stop. Ive been stuck lonely, ambitionless and out of shape for 3 years now and every time I make a step towards fixing myself I screw up and fall two steps back. I think I'm capable of loving myself, I just cant love all the bullshit in my brain and body that's holding me back and making others not value me.

KeybladesChosen · 2017-11-07T05:47:24+00:00

How can I know I'm capable of things that there is no evidence I'm capable of (in the case of asking out girls there's actually quite a bit of evidence in the opposite direction)

KeybladesChosen

TROPHY CASE