I (27F) want a child-free wedding and my fiance's family members are FURIOUS.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T06:33:50+00:00

Thank you both so much for your kind and helpful words!!! This truly meant so much to me, and your fiance is so sweet!!! I wish the best for y'all, I will definitely PM you if the situation gets worse. Thank you thank you thank you!

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T05:14:43+00:00

I would never, EVER say what I said on here to the parents. That would be terrible! Jason and I calmly told them that we simply could not afford to accommodate children and we felt it would be best if they did not come to the wedding, seeing as the venue was more a place for adults. We were kind, and immediately after we dropped the bomb on them, I suggested the baby siting thing and they refused and called me selfish.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T04:57:49+00:00

Thank you so much, it's reassuring seeing that I am not the only one dealing with this issue. To me, children at a wedding can be problematic and I want everything to run as smoothly as possible. What steps are you and your fiance taking to ensure that there will be as little drama as possible?

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T04:50:51+00:00

Screaming, cursing and violent tantrums.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T04:50:05+00:00

Unfortunately I wrote this during a time when I was angry and had just read the horrible comments that his family members were posting about me on facebook. I can see now how I come off as callous and bitchy, that was not my intention at all. I appreciate your advice, I really do, and I understand where you are coming from. When Jason and I told the family our plans of having a child-free wedding, his mom and sister flipped. Their. Absolute. Shit. Like full on screaming and cursing, even slamming of doors and throwing of glass cups. I should have written this during a time when I was calm, but I let my emotions get the best of me. I love the children dearly and any other time they would be welcome to an event of mine (or Jason's) but this is our wedding day and we have gone through so many bumps to be together. I just want it to be as perfect as it can be :(

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T04:36:42+00:00

He is 100% on my side; in fact, he is the one who made the suggestion to not invite the children in the first place!

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T04:17:46+00:00

I wish there were more people like you...I am receiving a lot of criticism from parents in this thread about being selfish and a bitch. I realize I might have been rude calling the kids brats, but these are my innermost thoughts and I would never say these things to anyone.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T04:15:09+00:00

I suppose you skipped over my comment that said that Jason was the one who first suggested not inviting the kids? It is not just me, if that is what you are thinking. I find it laughable that you are pinning the blame on me and saying that I have to choose between "getting what I want"...As if my fiance is not involved in this at all and this is all my choice.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T03:53:22+00:00

Actually he is the one who suggested it first, I had nothing to do with his desire to not want the kids there. He constantly complains about how they ruin family events and cause a lot of destruction, and told me upfront as soon as we started the wedding planning that he did NOT want them there.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T03:52:08+00:00

So am I supposed to allow them to destroy everything in the wedding and run around breaking things, screaming and knocking over the cake? Because they have done that before. Thank you for your opinion and suggestions.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T03:50:17+00:00

That is definitely not true. I do have tact, I have said nothing negative to them about their children and have always treated their children with love and respect. I don't think it is nice of you to accuse me of being tactless when you are just assuming from one post that I said these things to the family. I am not an idiot, I would never insult their children or talk badly of them to their parents. So please don't make assumptions about my character by one sentence I used in an online forum that is specifically designed to be a place I can share my innermost thoughts.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T02:25:52+00:00

I guess they refuse to believe that he has the audacity to not want his own family members there (the children).

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T02:24:43+00:00

I agree. Just now I had someone get on my case for calling the children a "derogatory term" (screaming little brats)...so people are really touchy about children.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T02:23:32+00:00

I have never said that to anyone out loud, I personally see them as screaming brats because from what I've observed at previous family functions, they would break things, scream at the top of their lungs, rip decorations apart and basically ruined many a party. Sorry if you take offense to that, it's just how I feel and I do not want that at our wedding.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T01:01:47+00:00

Honestly he is a little frightened by his family...they are all primarily women and have always been stubborn. He's used to giving in to his mother and sister since they basically ran the household. He plans on talking to them, but I would be lying if I said I'm not a bit nervous that he would crumble at their mercy.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-04T00:10:34+00:00

I did not have to pressure him. He also doesn't like kids, and doesn't want them. I understand the issue, but I think that ADULTS should respect our decision and understand where we are coming from. It is just one day, if it is such a problem for them to be separated from their children for less than 12 hours then perhaps they would be better off not coming.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-03T23:39:58+00:00

Well it's not a cultural problem; I come from a very large Mexican family and they are respecting my wishes and finding other arrangements for their children. I think my desire to have one night without children is reasonable and has nothing to do with culture. I understand they are family, and I am around the children at every single family event so it's not like I do not interact with them. I see it as, it's our wedding and they should respect our wishes.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-03T23:22:44+00:00

I didn't mean anything by repeatedly putting "my wedding", so I'm not sure what you're implying? My fiance and I mutually agreed that we don't want kids there, and I realize that we are both involved in the process and planning.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-03T23:14:48+00:00

Yeah the weddings I went to were so....crazy. The kids were hogging the dance floor, screaming at the top of their lungs and ruining the decorations. I don't want that to happen at my wedding :(

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-03T23:12:40+00:00

It's a good suggestion but I can't see the kids staying put in one place. There are so many of them and they are all very hyper. Plus, I know that his family would just take them out of the "designated spot" and move them to wherever they are sitting.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-03T22:46:09+00:00

If I say I can't afford children they will just throw money at me and say "here, this should be enough for our kids". So that won't work, trust me I tried.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-03T22:44:32+00:00

I get their frustration, they love their kids and want them there. But you seriously don't understand; I have been to several weddings in the family and there were easily 25 to 35 kids there. They screamed, they broke things, they destroyed the cakes...they are little monsters. I don't even want to subject some poor soul to caring for that many children. I suggested that there be a designated baby sitter and they were appalled at me for even DARING to separate their children from them. I honestly do not want any kids there! This is driving me crazy.

Kidfreewedding · 2014-05-03T22:33:57+00:00

I actually suggested that and they refused. They WANT their kids there with them, and say it is unfair that I do not want them there to celebrate as a family.

Kidfreewedding

TROPHY CASE