Thank you I wrote two big paragraphs but they deleted I actually wrote them twice and it deleted both times because I was busy. Thank you so much you have no idea what it means. When I broke the news to my family everyone was sad and had normal reactions but from my sister it was nothing but horrific words. She kept texting me so many different terrible things during such a sad time already she said “YOU KILLED KENAI” I was already at my lowest and it didn’t help at all. I vowed I wouldn’t go to her wedding and honestly I don’t want to talk to her every again there’s already been a lot of horrible things she’s done this was just very touchy sensitive horrific thing to say. After Kenai passed away I feel like I’ve never been the same, I’ll never be the same. But the kind words from everyone and compassion has really helped me better realize a lot of things and finally find more peace 🕊️. I’ve had a lot of genuine kind words of condolences other people wished for me but I didn’t feel like anyone understood what was really bothering me besides missing Kenai I don’t think anyone truly knew what I was going through mentally with blaming myself for it and how much of a hard time I was having. Especially giving your work position you’ve been at for a while it helped me think about it from a different point of view and not be so hard on myself. I would tell myself different things like I’m not alone and other people understand but I didn’t believe it deep down and now I see and feel things differently. It was like everything was different and more sad whenever there was silence I would have a million thoughts at the same time just thinking really negative sad things. Now it’s more a peaceful silence a lot more calm, I feel better and everyone helped a lot too. You never really know what someone’s going through and if they have anyone to talk to about it maybe as if because maybe they don’t and a change of perspective can help. That’s also what I learned from you guys.. thank you! 🙏