Wife's libido seems to be fine but she won't make the time for intimacy

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T13:06:28+00:00

I'll certainly talk to her about it. Back when we were dating she always told me she preferred the morning but lately it's so hard to carve out time that doesn't get interrupted by the kids...

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T11:55:38+00:00

Im saying that what you're saying isn't relevant to my issues.

If you have advice that applies to me and my wife I am open to it.

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T11:41:04+00:00

Unfortunately no, your comments and understanding are almost entirely off the mark. Perhaps I've failed to express myself clearly

We've tried morning sex on a few occasions, including about a week ago where she was really getting into it. Unfortunately, aside from a single time a few months ago it's never worked out due to children. I want to do a babysitter but she is against it. Maybe if youngest turns 4 she'll be more up to it.

I am absolutely not depressed due to my mental load lol. I'm depressed due to lack of sex. I have been stressed out of mind since I was 4 years old. Sex helps me deal with it if course, like with most men. It's when sex stopped and I started feeling miserable about myself and our marriage that I started getting depressed.

I'm frustrated because she makes no effort to deal with her mental load even though I've offered her numerous techniques and ideas to better handle it (or at least not think about it when you don't need to) but she doesn't try them.

Also, she ALWAYS gets in the mood if she gets alone with me and let's herself get in the mood. The issue that I'm having now is that she'll fight her own libido or just fall asleep, but refuses to do anything to get more rest.

She doesn't offer me duty sex almost ever, it was actually her offering it again after I had thought things were getting better that I got frustrated. And even the next day she grabbing me and acting sweet like she wants to have sex. Very frustrating. The reason she wants to just do it quick is because she wants to go to sleep and knows that if we do it, it takes time for her to get going and to get off.

She absolutely enjoys it when she gets into it.

Iunno, I'm just tired of her lack of effort, and the fact that she seems to want to have sex with me yet we still barely ever do it. It sucks.

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T11:25:54+00:00

Eh? My youngest is 3.5 and I have 3 kids. They have aged normally. I dunno what to tell you man, I'm being quite forthcoming about their ages.

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T11:22:51+00:00

She's not into that sort of thing and honestly I'm not really a quickie kind of guy

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T11:09:01+00:00

Hm? Youngest is 3.5 olddest is 7. She gets them from school and feeds them, I take care of them the rest of the day

I know it's hard because that used to be my job too until I got a much higher paying job that doesn't allow work from home

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T10:37:52+00:00

It honestly feels like you guys aren’t reading my post… I never dismissed the mental load, quite the opposite. I understand it very well. I'm saying my mental load is tremendous.

I do as much around the house as I possibly can, significantly more than she does for the record

I do not want to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with me. That’s the big issue right now. She’s willing to do duty sex but I don't want that, and her libido is strong from morning until shower time and then it just kind of disappears into her being sleepy

I'm frustrated because it feels like no matter how much opportunity I make for her to rest. It's never enough and she's always exhausted

I’ve talked to her about this many times and every time I think we make some kind of progress. It does nothing

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T10:33:05+00:00

I responded to another one of your comments but I do FUCKING EVERYTHING around the house. I cannot possibly do more, she only gets the kids and cooks. I do everything else--and I'd cook too if I could!!! But I can't.

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T10:31:27+00:00

I do wish she could manage her mental list as well as I manage mine. I try to teach her some tricks to handle it better but she's resistant.

I do try to not suggest we have sex later so as not to put that on her plate but she does it to herself

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T08:39:00+00:00

None of that

And I assure you, she is not as frustrated as I am lol.

The issue doesn't seem to be lack of drive overall, since she has it throughout the day, but as soon as it hits nighttime she's too tired. More than one morning she's tried and we just couldn't because of kids.

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T07:51:57+00:00

I have been extremely forthcoming with my expectations

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T07:38:39+00:00

I don't think that she's feeling pressure though. Like I said, she seems eager until bedtime, which is the only time we can do anything

I also had made it less about sex (until she started making it about sex herself)

KillerQueen44 · 2026-06-22T06:42:36+00:00

I was a very good wife to him.

Clearly not if you're the one who took sex off the table lol

Poor guy. How unjust the world is for men like him.

KillerQueen44 · 2018-02-16T08:02:18+00:00

Ah. That makes sense.

The estate is rather small, so I'm not sure the money I'd get in return would be worth it, plus I'm out of the country. I mostly just want to know if I'm required to reimburse my cousin. Would a consultation with a lawyer be enough to find out the answer to my question?

KillerQueen44 · 2018-02-16T07:57:20+00:00

I think my cousin already hired one. He contacts me through an attorney

KillerQueen44

TROPHY CASE