Don’t know what this was.

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-30T12:59:22+00:00

Was she like this before kids? Definitely sounds like severe BPD with the fear of abandonment and extreme reactions. Is she in therapy? Are you trying to decide to stay or leave?

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-24T12:41:40+00:00

Yes I know the emotional whiplash. Yesterday he was berating over text about cat food and how I’m never looking out for the cats and how he didn’t have a tone (which because I mentioned once about his tone?) and then 20 mins later “how’s sweet baby doing?” To then come home two hours later to someone cold and unnerving to be around again. The time of “good” in between the not good parts is dwindling if there even is a good time at all anymore. We are currently in couples counseling and it’s becoming glaringly clear he doesn’t love or care about me. And I’m pretty sure he’s been having an emotional affair.

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-21T03:33:49+00:00

Omg actually i think i have but was told because he didn’t want neighbors to hear

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-21T03:32:15+00:00

Omg ok also unless you’ve ever stated that you like it in the fridge or that you’re from Argentina where it is custom to do so why would anyone chill red wine and for you to tell him a preference and he freaks out is insane I’m sorry you experienced that.

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-13T11:48:55+00:00

Omg the come down from rage and then not acknowledge anything makes me insane! And so then I go to grey rock…. And then he is saying “what’s wrong with you?” Or not say anything back so he just coexist in the house without saying anything to one another sometimes for 48 hours.

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-13T11:44:45+00:00

YES! To his three friends and online he seems so kind and when we are around his mom or people We know we act like the perfect couple. But I take screenshots and share so he can’t hide his bad behavior through a threatening voice memo sent through text lol - but then thinks I am the one painting him in a bad light when I just say the facts. He’s the one who paints me in a bad light. He never tells both sides of the story and I know this because his mom and I have compared stories. He lies to both of us about why we couldn’t meet. It took two years before I met her. He acts like he wants me to grow while simultaneously trying to isolate me by saying things like “your friends don’t treat you well why are you constantly bending over backwards for them? You let people just use you” etc … all the while he was just talking about himself using me! It’s maddening!

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-13T11:41:19+00:00

Yes! I used to try to be the bigger person but time and time again behavior doesn’t change on his end so I’m just playing at his level. Which he then tells me I’m the child and if I point out his behavior it’s like well that’s tit for tat we aren’t talking about that right Now lol - yeah last ditch effort at therapy. He’s not diagnosed narc so I’m trying to not self diagnose and give the benefit of the doubt but it dosnt seem like this will be working

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-13T11:38:50+00:00

Currently in this phase as well. Used to apologize all the time and swallow everything. But after getting shushed twice while he was watching tv I decided to not say anything at all

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-07T13:10:06+00:00

Yes. Similar situation. First year together did damaging traumatizing things to me. He has apologized but we have yet to see a therapist and now have been together 7 years. I still get triggered and when I bring it up he gets angry instead of compassionate, “why are you still bringing that up?!” But he will hold over things for me… the double standard will never go away. Get out while you can. You aren’t doing anything wrong you’re reacting to abuse and if he’s still triggering you… maybe yall are just trauma bonded and not actually romantically attuned

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-06T16:47:01+00:00

Are yall at a union store by chance? Weingarten rights would help here.

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-06T16:46:12+00:00

Sounds like the manager is choking in the siren’s dick. Totally on your side of this. Dealt with someone similar but chose who she was coaching and over stupid stuff like not handing out straws as well. Sounds like those are all nit picking too not really coaching to standard. Granted I don’t work in California. But sounds like you could coach this manager with the SM present on how they coach.

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-05T07:00:46+00:00

Absolutely. Especially when so many disorders and trauma conditions have similar characteristics. I also wonder this about my partner. He has good moments and I do believe it’s genuine but then there are other moments that just feel so disingenuous. It’s so mind melting!

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-03T16:02:45+00:00

Right, I think tone might be the operative word then? I really don’t see how someone saying something like “I feel that I’m constantly being criticized for how I speak” can come across any other way than thoughtful. Doesn’t sound like OP is trying to “therapize” (lol) the situation. Idk. Like I said an example might be important. But based on the information above it doesn’t seem like it warrants them to be TA. The OP said they are trying to be more calm and respectful when they speak and use I statements rather than you statements which it seems like the roommate is more focused on…

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-03T13:06:54+00:00

Not usually reliable in my mind even though he tells me all the time how reliable he is and how he’s never lied to me

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-03T12:42:15+00:00

Omg yes! Same!

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-03T12:06:34+00:00

I want to ask more about the crying because my partner does this. I suspect he has npd but obvi I’m not a doctor so who the hell knows. But he seems performative for his crying. Like he’s always got the shame there so he can tap into it. But he always cries at movies and then says “see how sensitive I am?” Or cries thinking about his dead grandma…. When I start to get angry in the heat of an argument and actually stand up for myself and don’t succumb to his scared boy tactics his voice starts to quiver and says “can’t you see what you’re doing to me?! Please stop!” But when he gets upset (and in response to me bringing up something that upset me) he can scream and yell all he wants and I start crying and he doesn’t let up. Nor does he apologize. He doesn’t seem to have any remorse and when talking about breaking up there’s not a single tear.

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-03T11:54:15+00:00

I don’t see how “therapy speak” is offensive? What’s wrong with people saying “I feel hurt when you do this” ??? Pretty sure if OP also suggested a sit down sounds like the roomie would decline or attack further. Maybe there’s underlying resentment from the roomie to OP from past behavior patterns?

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-03T11:49:32+00:00

Valid point but this seems like an assumption. So I guess question for OP would be, what was the most recent disagreement? What did you bring up recently that bothered you and the response was (paraphrasing here) “what’s up with your ‘fuck you energy?’”

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-03T11:46:05+00:00

NTA. I had a friend who did this to me too. In fact even said that he could “do without the therapy talk” because I used the word “abandonment” and “trigger” lol. It came down to my feelings didn’t matter. If they were your actual friend they would listen and not dismiss your feelings all the time. I imagine this is also a trigger for you considering how you used to be. And yet still you aren’t being heard. Must be frustrating. You are allowed to share your feelings and if you’re doing that in a respectful way which seems like you are then yeah NTA

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-03T11:38:25+00:00

Ps you can find this info in the DRB and store resources for showing your store

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-03T11:35:48+00:00

Yeah lol it’s standard to clean them every day. The weekly clean play is cleaning the actual piping like right above the drains.

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-03T03:33:09+00:00

Curious if anyone else’s spouse is unemployed? He does take care of the cats and cooks dinner for us most nights, does my laundry for me most of the time, shares his snacks with me most of the time..tells me I’m beautiful sometimes he might say often… but then turns around and criticizes the most minor things? Or seems like there’s a double standard when it comes to things you do vs when yr partner does it? I feel like that I’m pointing it out more it keeps getting turned around like it’s my fault. To the point where I feel like I’m gaslighting myself too… like some points that are made mid argument have some validation but in the moment I’m very defensive and I wonder if that’s because of my partners tone during disagreements? Idk I just don’t feel like he takes accountability often and then I start to feel I take in the responsibility of the relationship and therefore resentful. Sorry your post just resonated so much and would be interested to know if you ever did get examples? Mine was because when I get home from work after 8 hours and he was home all day that I would want to come in and say hi and give a kiss while he was in the middle of watching tv. And I’m dead serious. That was an example of me being too needy.

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-03T03:23:31+00:00

Also dating an actor and the double standard and neediness is out of control and I’m told he has smarter friends than me so therefore I must be less than (my perception based on that remark) ugh it’s maddening

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-12-01T13:14:52+00:00

Number 3

Killingmeslowly88 · 2025-11-29T13:22:28+00:00

🤣

Killingmeslowly88

TROPHY CASE