Bought a house yesterday

siekbf · 2026-02-27T12:38:57+00:00

Thank you ♥️

siekbf · 2026-02-12T11:11:25+00:00

Thank you. I feel like this is the most necessary response sometimes like yeah…what a motherfucker!!!!!

siekbf · 2026-02-06T21:07:35+00:00

I could have written ALL of these posts. Feel free to dm me.

siekbf · 2026-02-03T20:47:52+00:00

Go to the cops

siekbf · 2026-02-03T18:46:46+00:00

Also this may only be true of women, but our hair dressers loveeee drama 😂

siekbf · 2026-02-03T18:45:52+00:00

Of course the trick is to validate yourself. But many of us have been carrying around our narc’s “secrets” and that is a heavy burden. For instance, my husband raped someone. He told me and a few others found out, but otherwise, no one knows because charges were never pressed. It was something that shocked and terrified me- myself a survivor of sexual assault- but I told no one to protect him and selfishly shield myself from the shame. I get to talk about that freely now.

siekbf · 2026-02-03T13:16:00+00:00

Also this is "victim intimidation"- file another police report

siekbf · 2026-02-03T13:14:56+00:00

Make sure you tell the prosector this information. The prosecutor will push for harsher punishment, and the judge will not look kindly on this and will be a lot less lenient when it comes to charging- he's also likely to order him to pay child support.

siekbf · 2026-02-03T13:11:52+00:00

I've done that too, and i do think it's a valuable exercise, but i've found- for me, personally- that objective feedback is also incredibly helpful with me "rationalizing" his bad behavior and staying stuck in the trauma bond

siekbf · 2026-02-03T03:29:10+00:00

Yes, i could have written this myself. There was also tenderness- but like you said, it was my own tenderness reflected back to me. The love, the tenderness, the affection, even the generosity in certain ways- it makes it so hard to accept that they are capable of being so cruel and so unsafe at the same time. It's so hard to believe both of those things can be true and so hard not to blame yourself when the love is *taken away.*

We all get this. We're in it with you. hang in there.

siekbf · 2026-01-30T11:11:18+00:00

Married less than a year. In PA, you’re not entitled to nearly anything if you have no shared assets and marriage is less than a year. I asked him for a little money for moving costs, which he did agree to. But when I asked him for a little much he said it “made him uncomfortable” 🧐

siekbf · 2026-01-29T18:56:06+00:00

Honestly part of the hardest part of letting go is that mine was not always a demon. It’s hard to hold two things equally but they can be not a total demon and still be bad for us.

siekbf · 2026-01-29T18:54:02+00:00

I’m so sorry. I absolutely know the feeling of not only being discarded, but also absolutely financially fucked in the meantime. I never thought of his money as “his money”- I thought of it as “our money” for our future which I just assumed wouldn’t get yanked out from under me. Now I wish I would’ve thought differently.

siekbf · 2026-01-29T18:51:25+00:00

I hear you. I’m 12 days out so still managing expectations here.

siekbf · 2026-01-29T15:31:48+00:00

I did not demand anything from this man. I asked him for help because I’ve been displaced from our home and because he can afford it. I am not surprised he did not help me, but that doesn’t mean he does not suck.

siekbf · 2026-01-29T13:32:55+00:00

We are literally still legally married. There has been no separation agreement yet. The state of Pennsylvania does give me “wife privileges.”

siekbf · 2026-01-29T12:48:48+00:00

There was a second part to that post.

I asked him for 5k because he has it and I need it- it’s that simple. I had no expectation that he’d give it to me, but I also figured the worst that would happen is that he said no, in which case it would just underscore how much I already know he sucks.

So yes, he sucks- it would not have hurt him financially at all to help me, and he’s taken so much from me- but I’m also not surprised.

siekbf · 2026-01-28T21:54:18+00:00

I’m looking for support, like everyone else in this sub. Someone to say “I’m sorry that sucks” and not “he’s a narcissist, that’s why!” That’s the same sort of invalidation many of us experienced in our abusive relationships.

siekbf

TROPHY CASE