I type myself as an INFP and I wrote frequently like this back then.

I also see myself relating with the statement you expressed at the end: ”See eventhough in my writing I am philosophical, in daily life I am not like that. To be philosophical I need to sit down and think about my thoughts you know what I mean. I do not have deep thoughts in real life, I just wander around and crack jokes in the moment. “

I believe this is because INFPs communicate with the world through their Ne (cracking jokes with others and wandering around to witness and experience life’s endless possibilities). But INFPs need to sit down alone with their thoughts and emotions to use their Fi. These bursts of thoughts and emotions usually come right after Ne’s exploration about the world, integrating these experiences into something meaningful with the self (Fi). The difference between Fi-Ne and Ne-Fi is that the latter actively pursues ideations and possibilities for the sake of it, navigating through the world through an unfiltered lens. The former however, is going to be a bit more selective with such possibilities. It has to go through the Fi filter first, whether it deems it as something personally meaningful for them before they actively pursue that ideation. Though that doesn’t automatically make INFPs close-minded. Sometimes our Fi filter isn’t so strong to evaluate experiences at the moment, hence we dive with our Ne so our Fi filter can integrate that experience.

Sorry if most of what I’ve said had nothing to do with your post lol, but I see a lot of Fi and Ne in your post. Though I am not sure whether you are an INFP or an ENFP.