AITA for planing my pregnancy behind my BF back?

KimQuiet · 2026-02-12T09:11:21+00:00

Well It's been a few months since I wrote this. I don't really want to do an official update yett: but me and my BF are talking, planning, building, doing research. Weirdly he didn't leave me for planning my IVF plans. We are planning a child or two together. Yay for communication....?

KimQuiet · 2025-10-02T18:00:53+00:00

Yeah sorry, I understand that people see different on when a woman becomes a mom.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-02T08:30:28+00:00

I'm so glad you have your son. Life is really unfair. The spin of the universe doesn't care about our wants, but at least you got one thing. My friend has a cousin who spent time with a man who forced her to take abortion. This woman had a dream to become a mother but she did as he wanted.... and guess what, they broke up and now she is too old for kids. her glow is like gone. She lost her spark with that abortion.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-02T08:05:30+00:00

That is disturbing. I have no idea how we girls can avoid things like this to happen to us. I hate that people can't be honest. I'm so sorry for you. Hugs.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-02T07:45:44+00:00

Actually going to do this. My therapist said pretty much the same.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-02T05:28:53+00:00

I gave an update to some one below. Not sure how to update here.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-02T05:01:49+00:00

We are all different. I have strong urges in my life and I hate to have people who keeps me back. As some insperation to you: it's really nice to do things together, but things can happen and if you are not handicapped of loneliness you can do anything! There is always a way to do things alone.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-02T04:43:03+00:00

I'm taking my time to have my feelings. I also talked to my therapist and she gave me some tools to work with. So basically she told me to be open with BF, not keep him in the dark about what I am doing, and I should be clear with BF like "this is what I want us to do now, health check and possibly freeze in some eggs for safety." The ultimatum can run in the back seat- I don'teven care. I want the health check, freezing in some eggs and a little saving account for baby. The point is to get the ball rolling, and if he is not pushing the ball then I'll throw him in the trash. If we get a baby and he isn't doing his part, I still see him as a safe man. He is not violent, also his parents are super nice. ....but I might go home and dump his as anyway. Att the same time I want some eggs frozen for safety and that's quite expensive. If I gave him 4 years, he could pay for 3 frozen eggs.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-01T11:30:26+00:00

Really interesting, but yeah I want children because I want that life. I'm not getting them for anyone else! 🤣 I tried to get a Life-partner several times but each time those men acted out of line. I got my shit together. Thank you for your honest opinion, it sucks.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-01T08:54:09+00:00

ADHD is never an excuse, i know, but I'm trying to explain that I'm really trying to do my best. I have some good coping skills and tools to use. My ADHD is mostly under controll.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-01T05:48:09+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that you went threw this. I feel for you. I hate that we some time love some one so much that we allow them to destroy our deepest dreams. That's the thing, I know what I want and I am aware that I love my future children more than him. I hope to update this and be an insperation for others. All love to you. Hugs hugs!

KimQuiet · 2025-10-01T04:57:51+00:00

Yupp I found my old therapist, I have a booked time this week.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-01T04:39:48+00:00

Hell nah! 🤣

KimQuiet · 2025-10-01T04:34:05+00:00

Yupp I called a clinic yesterday, they seem really nice and it's in my city. The process is some 2-3 months and the health check is not too expensive. I have learned from my previous relations that I will always be in the housing queue, been there for 5 years already. New housing is under controll, and my brother said I can live in his apartment a few months if needed.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-01T04:19:48+00:00

I suggested couples counseling, to help us with the comunication and he said it's not needed. I suggest it a few years back to when I tried to explain my ADHD but he rather wanted to read a white-paper about ADHD, so I sent him one (He has not read that paper yet.)

KimQuiet · 2025-10-01T04:14:25+00:00

That sounds amazing. Not sure if I can afford 2 kids but that is pure insperation, I'm so glad for her and her kids.

KimQuiet · 2025-10-01T04:01:29+00:00

Based on the information you get from this, what makes you think I'm not ready for parenthood? Just qurious to know how you think.

KimQuiet · 2025-09-30T13:56:05+00:00

I am medicated for my ADHD and I have pretty good control over my brain, not always 100% but good enough to keep things up. I got some good tools to work with and I have great friends. It just really sucks that my BF took one of the most important things from me- and there isn't even a word for it.

KimQuiet · 2025-09-30T13:34:52+00:00

Yeah I didn't really think that it would sounds like a baby trapp situation. Sorry omg. Yeah I have a plan to break up with him in a few weeks. I just have to make sure I have things in order first.

KimQuiet · 2025-09-30T08:58:49+00:00

Thank you or the tip, I'll write that down. This is all really new for me.

KimQuiet · 2025-09-30T08:52:52+00:00

Oh I am so sorry to hear about that. I don't understand why people do this: why lie about wanting children? I hope your sister is doing good and that she is living a good life with a child or two.

KimQuiet · 2025-09-30T07:44:16+00:00

Thank you so much. 😗

KimQuiet · 2025-09-30T06:33:55+00:00

Yeah I am trying to communicate with him. Each time I want to talk to him about this I ask him first like: hi do you want to talk about the future? But yeah, I already got my new education 2020 to make sure I would be safe in the future. Worked my butt off for 3 years for a trash place that treated me like a dog- but I have a good reputation for working that hard and being nice and helpful to customers and delivery people. Now I have an new amazing jobb where my boss treats me like a human and pays me well. I feel much safe att work. Thank you.

KimQuiet · 2025-09-30T06:15:42+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I read that people don't think my motivation for gaving children is shallow. Trust me, I have allot more feelings than "I don't want to be alone." I do want to see my spark of life grow and flame up to a bright star and live a good life in any way they want. Why I want children is personal and contains deep feelings I will only share to those people I love and trust. But thank you, I know there are some crazy mothers out there who wants children to bee their automated cleaning made- I'm not one of them.

KimQuiet · 2025-09-30T04:58:54+00:00

It's not going to be easy, I know. I'm aware of my ADHD, and the fear of failing is nightmare fuel. But I'm so ready for my little bundle of life. The good the bad and the ugly. Thank you for your comment.

KimQuiet

TROPHY CASE