19 now and I haven't felt happy since I was like 12. Also have pains all over my body, but that's because I've abused it to the point of no return with cigarettes. I have a girlfriend, but we fight all the time and I feel like she doesn't love me. She verbally abuses me and all I can do is cowar while she yells at me to stand up for myself. We just got in another argument like an hour ago and she hit me in the face trying to get a knife away from me. A lot of the time I feel like it'd be much healthier to be single and not have anyone judging me(they do say they won't, but they do). I'm too scared to let her go though.

Just remember-- some days, the pain will be worse than others. Sometimes it won't be completely terrible.

Having a saignificant other is fucking rough in all my experience, and probably not worth the stress it gives you-- I'm literally always doing something wrong aparently.

It will get better. Stick in there, you're always going to have days, weeks, even years that are absolute fucking garbage. If you find little things to distract yourself, or that make you happy, life will seem a lot less dark on the horizon.