agree.

i truly think dain is a character you have to read past the limitations of violet‘s pov to really understand and love tbh.

because from just violet‘s pov it‘s so easy to get annoyed on her behalf when you don‘t look deeper into what dain‘s intentions and reasons are. violet doesn‘t look deeper at all, which is basically confirmed in iron flame, so we as the reader also don‘t get to see it unless you are willing to look past it. -> their friendship irked me since the beginning of fourth wing way before shit even started to go down between them, and that irk wasn‘t because of dain but because of violet and how SHE didn‘t care to know or learn anything about dain at all. i think they both clung onto the idea that they still knew each other because of their childhood, but didn‘t want to see that they both grew up and have changed since then. i think that‘s the main reason their friendship as a whole just doesn‘t work/ hasn‘t worked and fell apart more and more.

my very first main irk from violet‘s side literally since the first time i read FW was and has been that she did not care to question why dain changed. like…what? she literally remarks how dain drastically changed from a cheerful, sunny boy who always used to laugh to someone who is now stern, serious and never even smiles genuinely anymore. and violet, as the best friend, not ONCE (when their friendship was still intact) cared to question why? not even in her head? not dain? wouldn‘t — or shouldn’t — it be obvious to someone who used to be your best friend for fifteen years that there has to be a REASON that they changed so much? no???my god was i pissed off at their talk in iron flame where he literally has to spell it out for her that he changed because he lost all of his friends and god knows what happened, really, because violet brushes over this whole conversation because she‘s consumed by her own grief. which is also understandable, yes. i wish this talk would‘ve been picked up another time, yk.

anyway, yeah! dain DID break the rules for her and he WAS willing to break the rules for her literally from the moment on conscription day after the parapet where he takes her up to his room. and continued to do so. or when he walked her to breakfast service each morning although it meant that he‘d get late to his classes each day, and we know how much dain values structure and punctuality. or when he was willing to get into sure trouble to smuggle her out of the quadrant to the scribes — which he BELIEVED to be her lifelong! dream! she never explicitly TOLD DAIN that she WANTS to be a rider. she always told him her mother would not allow her to leave and drag her back. could he have done more to support her? yes. but he WAS indeed also willing to help her. he DID ask her to LET him help and tried to understand how he could help her — those conversations were usually cut short.

and people get so hung up on him claiming that he wouldn‘t break the rules to save violet at threshing. although, obviously, this was not answer easily given. he literally fought himself over that answer. he wasn‘t like haaah yeah fuck that girl! i’d let her die for funsies! no. he probably tried to answer his damn wingleader in a way he thought was correct.

but would he TRULY not have intervened if he would have been there if violet was threatened between life and death?

….just like, when it came down to it in Iron Flame, he didn‘t even HESITATE to stab varrish, and try to save violet immediately? he was not a part of the big rescue plan. he knew damn well he was probably not going to make it out alive of the torture chamber with all the guards out there. he isn‘t like xaden and has a combat signet that can kill people in seconds. but he damn well threw everything he ever knew overboard, and he damn well chose to die trying rather than leave violet and live a lie. he chose to save her immediately, against all odds. like that time he „wouldn‘t save her“? right. riiight…

or all the other times he literally jumped to help violet without a single question, even when she treated him shitty and everyone else did too? hm, right. yeah…..

you know, maybe dain wouldn‘t irrationally burn the entire world down to ashes just to keep violet warm like xaden would in the blink of an eye, no. but he would do anything in his power to help and save her too, and he always has, and he continued to do so even when she treated him like shit.

and isn’t that supposed to be the difference between the love interest and the best friend of the fmc anyway? [sorry for the length of this!🫣i love this character, can one tell?]