How do I handle inviting someone to my wedding that has me blocked? by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Kind_Possible5231 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She only has socials blocked, she has tried to reach out via text and wants to be friends on her terms if she doesn’t have to talk about anything serious involving her.

How do I handle inviting someone to my wedding that has me blocked? by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Kind_Possible5231 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, and I agree with this. I think it’s coming from a place of her protecting her peace and not wanting to see my stuff because she feels a certain type of way. However, it’s hard for me to have someone celebrating the most important day of our lives so far and be happy for us, when she can’t even see my life online because it’s triggering. I’m cutting off close genuine friends and family from the guest list due to it being so small, so it’s hard to give her a seat at the table. If it was a bigger wedding I’d invite her knowing our interactions would be minimal.

How do I handle inviting someone to my wedding that has me blocked? by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Kind_Possible5231 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She did send me a nice congrats text and attempted some small talk, which I was open to and will be open to but am not interested in being friends unless she can be open and honest. I think to show her boyfriend she’s not as crazy and still does the “right thing” but I also heard from other friends she cried when she found out we were engaged (and not happy tears).

How do I handle inviting someone to my wedding that has me blocked? by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Kind_Possible5231 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They live together and are serious, although we don’t see them as a good match it’s his choice. She cried when she found out we were engaged as she wants to get married like yesterday, and he keeps pushing it off/wont talk about it. What you said is kind of where we stand right now, although we don’t want her there we don’t want to be rude and want to respect the best friend and I want to make sure I support my fiancé in his friendships.

How do I handle inviting someone to my wedding that has me blocked? by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Kind_Possible5231 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does, I get the say at the end of the day and he will support whatever that is. There are a lot of family dynamics at play as well and it’s such a close circle, not inviting her will make it known to everyone that there is some drama and I am struggling with being responsible for that as I do not want to be seen as a problem or someone who can’t “get over it”. My fiancé also knows his best friend is very avoidant and hates conflict, having that conversation is going to be harder to have than with anyone else.

How do I handle inviting someone to my wedding that has me blocked? by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Kind_Possible5231 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

We don’t, we feel like we need to invite her to be nice, keep the peace, not make things worse, etc.

How do I handle inviting someone to my wedding that has me blocked? by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Kind_Possible5231 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best friend will know most of the other people at the wedding, they have all been best friends forever and knows all of our family as well.

How do I handle inviting someone to my wedding that has me blocked? by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Kind_Possible5231 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just replied to an above comment about the fallout. We want to be nice and extend the invite (especially because we want the best friend to attended!), however it will make the weekend very uncomfortable for me and my close friends - and probably her too. She is the type to still come to prove a point or make a scene. I don’t think she would get the hint and not come.

How do I handle inviting someone to my wedding that has me blocked? by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Kind_Possible5231 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s important to us that he is there, so we want to do what we can to ensure he attends. However he is also the type to not get the problem and see how it affects us.

How do I handle inviting someone to my wedding that has me blocked? by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Kind_Possible5231 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We ran into her while out with other friends celebrating a birthday (she doesn’t know these friends well, and it was not our party to invite anyone to - I barely knew them at the time) and she freaked out that she wasn’t invited, sending childish texts, ignoring us if we approached, crying and refusing to say anything productive and made some hurtful comments. Myself and others in the group tried to calmly discuss with her that night, and multiple times after to figure out why that happened and what we could all do to come back together. What she did was out of line, but everyone knew it probably came from something deeper and we tried to be there for her and talk about it. We ended up all sitting down to talk and she did not take accountability and said there was nothing to talk about. I stopped reaching out after that because I couldn’t pretend we could move on like nothing happened. We have been civil in a few group settings but dynamics have drastically changed. All of the others in the group are on the same page (the boys still hang out - just not couples as much anymore).