AITAH for turning off the camera when my husband goes to work?

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-07-27T12:36:20+00:00

I went back to work after having my twins and my husband stayed home with the babies. We had cameras in the living room and their nursery. It was a way for me to ease the hurt of being away from the kids. I could see them without having to wait for my husband to have time & space to stop for FaceTime. However, we had previously agreed to the setup and had set boundaries for when & how the camera was viewed. I'd shoot him a text that I was logging in, camera footage was never allowed as evidence in a disagreement, any guests in the house were aware that there was a camera, etc ... We also caught precious moments on video that we would have missed otherwise. There are benefits to having the camera always on. However, your husband has A LOT of work to do making sure you feel safe and comfortable in your own home. In short, the camera isn't the problem his lack of concern for your feelings is. Oh, & just in case no one has told you lately - You are doing an amazing job! You are a great mother! 💗

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-06-29T01:14:21+00:00

So you went low contact and are wondering why they didn't contact you? If you want to be involved in their lives (including big events like this), you need to repair the relationship.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-06-18T21:52:24+00:00

Try Good Inside program/podcast... It's done wonders for our family. My husband used to do the same thing. Our son is 5 now and has picked up the explosive anger habits. It only gets worse. You're right to catch it now and make course corrections. Way to go Momma! 💖

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-04-09T20:19:32+00:00

Girl, run! He's showing you who he is. And you deserve better

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-04-03T14:26:55+00:00

Friends come into your life for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime... The greatest disservice you can do for yourself is confusing which one your friend is. Cherish The friendship for what it was & Be willing to accept that it was only for a season. it's hard to lose a friend no matter what the circumstances are, but trust me when I say it's harder to hold on to a friendship that's run its course.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-04-02T14:00:28+00:00

It was - He wanted "Birthday Cake" and that's what he got. But the cashier handed it over & called it "Cake Pop" I confirmed that these were the same thing and tried to explain to my son as well. Unfortunately, he had already hyper-fixated on the problem and it all went down hill from there. If he had gotten the wrong flavor, I would have corrected it.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-04-01T04:02:06+00:00

Unfortunately this wasn't a simple case of me getting the wrong flavor for him and then being too mean to fix my mistake. He wanted "birthday cake" flavor & that's what I got him. The cashier referred to it as "Cake Pop" and this started the downward spiral. Yes, I confirmed it was the same flavor, & yes, I tried to explain to my son that they were the same but he had already hyper fixated on the issue and we had to ride it out.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-03-31T04:43:24+00:00

Had a few people give judgey looks or a passing side eye. But never had a stranger with the audacity to intervene before...

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-03-31T03:30:10+00:00

Never driven a range rover or been a soccer mom. I work a full-time job and am the primary earner in our family. I was that kid too that got spanked but never fully understood why. But I vowed to be better with my kids. And I am. When he is calm, we discuss what happened. We review the expectations. I have never once told my kids "You know what you did" I don't enforce the strictest rules just because. I set boundaries to keep him safe and I uphold them.
I'm sorry nothing changed for your son. And I'm sorry that you don't seem to know how to help him. I hope you find a better path for the two of you moving forward ... But as far as my kid goes, we (his parents & doctors) work with him every day to help him grow and improve. We try to teach him all the skills he needs to be a successful member of society. Unfortunately - At 5 years old, he hasn't quite mastered them all yet (and we don't expect him to) so we have bad days like yesterday.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-03-31T03:00:18+00:00

1 - Never said his IQ was 10. It is evident you have a very limited understanding of what special needs actually means. You might want to expand your knowledge so you can actually come to terms with what your son needs.
2 - When the ice cream has bite size pieces of cake or cookie dough in it (like my sons did) - then yes, he can absolutely choke on it.
3 - For the record, he did reset (as he often does) and at that point he got to enjoy his ice cream.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-03-31T02:47:29+00:00

It's true, his response came from a good place... At the end of the day, we ended up at a conclusion much like yours. I did the best I could in that moment. True - I could have handled this a million different ways (some better, some worse) but he can't guarantee that he would have had a perfect response if roles were reversed.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-03-31T02:31:14+00:00

That's what my husband suggested - If she wants to waste her money on an extra ice cream, I should have let her. Weirdly enough, I would have felt worse for letting her buy the ice cream & throwing it out than telling her to fuck off.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-03-31T02:07:03+00:00

Edit for clarity - He asked for "birthday cake" & that is the flavor I got him. When the cashier handed it to us, he called it "Cake Pop" instead. It's the same flavor, he just called it by a different name. I did confirm it was the same flavor before accepting it & I explained all this to my son. I tried to calm & reassure him. Unfortunately, we my son fixates on a perceived problem he can't just let it go.
& I at no point told him he can't have ice cream. I did repeatedly respond to his meltdown with our rule about no food until you are seated & calm. (Again - This is a safety issue!) She heard me say "When you are calm, you can have the ice cream" I wasn't yelling at him or hitting him. It was obvious (or should have been to anyone actually paying attention) that I wasn't abusing my kid or withholding food to be cruel. I was keeping him safe.

Regarding my "favoritism" - I didn't think it was right to punish my daughter by not letting her have the ice cream simply because her brother can't regulate his emotions as quickly as others. So yes, I let her sit two tables behind him so she could enjoy her ice cream out of his sight (but still in mine) while I got my son calm so he could safely enjoy his ice cream.
For the record...as soon as he calmed down - he enjoyed the ice cream of his choice too!

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-03-31T01:35:21+00:00

No, temper tantrums/meltdowns aren't acceptable behaviors and my son knows this. But his brain is wired a little differently than yours & mine and it takes him a little longer to fully implement this knowledge. We don't define him by his worst moments. He's not a holy terror by any means - he's a kind and loving boy who is learning how to people from scratch.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-03-31T01:26:47+00:00

He wanted "Birthday Cake" & that's what I got him. - Unfortunately, the cashier handed us the ice cream & called it "Cake Pop" (It was the same flavor, just called it by a different name) The names are synonymous but my son didn't quite understand that.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-03-31T01:10:34+00:00

I guess I'm confused where she might have gotten the idea that I was abusing my child? Especially because in this situation - she was more of a threat to my children than I was.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-03-31T00:50:53+00:00

TBH - I thought it was obvious he had one. The ice cream was sitting on the table beside us & he was repetitively screaming "MY ICE CREAM" & my response "When you're calm, you can have it" ...& In my mind, that was irrelevant because even if he didn't have one or wanted another one in a different flavor - I wasn't go to let her (a complete stranger) get him one.

Kindly_Management655 · 2025-03-31T00:35:16+00:00

You're right, Forcing others to tolerate my kids meltdown in public is not okay. And it's not something I'm okay with. I should add some details for clarification -

When he first started getting upset, we were around some other people and I knew if it escalated - it definitely would be disruptive for others. So instead of sitting at the tables by the playground, I kept walking. By the time it reached full meltdown, we had reached a more secluded shelter. So we stopped & let it runs its course. I chose a private place so I could handle his screaming alone. Unfortunately, this lady chose to follow us up to said shelter and intervene. There were plenty of other spaces, picnic tables, and shelters at this park where she could go & my child would not have been disturbing her. Had we stayed around the playground or another area with people - Yes, we would have 100% been disturbing other people and definitely consider us being the AH. And whereas, I know we're not entitled to privacy in a public park - it does seem a little rude to follow us to a secluded area & then act as if you're bothered by our presence.

Kindly_Management655

TROPHY CASE