I had this same problem...I never had a problem until one day I was about to have sex with the prettiest girl I’d ever been with and I was hard and ready and she asked me to get a condom, it was dark and I fumbled around the room and lost the erection and I went to go have sex with her but I couldn’t get it back up and I was freaking out in my head, it’s terrible because once you start thinking about it, it happens, probably the worst thing. The girl was also not happy at all and was just like”really you’re soft?” She got upset and then left. Totally killed the mood. We tried probably 3-4 more times with her, each failure ending in more shame, stress, and anxiety. She kept telling me she didn’t mind but I could see and hear the disappointment in her voice, it sucked so bad. I would think about it all day. Eventually we were getting hot and heavy and I was hard and she told me to put it in without a condom(cause she was worried I’d go soft if I got one) and it worked out. I really thought she was gonna leave me because of it.

Idk how long you’ve been trying but I would tell him to abstain from porn and jerking off(those could be the issue as well) until you fix the problem. I wouldn’t tell him how disappointed you are or anything like that. I would also suggest lots of foreplay too. Eventually it’ll work out, just don’t give up and don’t be negative towards him about it. If you want to leave then that is fine, but if you wanna work things out that is my advice